I decided to update this post because of a conversation I had with someone regarding a rebellious child. Many times a child behavior is a reflection of issues parents are facing in their relationship. Parents that are arguing significantly and fighting in the presence of the child will pass their negative behavior onto their children. It very important for parents to understand their contribution to the child or children negative behavior. Parents should immediately begin to address their personal problems which will help address the child’s negative behavior before it become too severe. Parents should attend a life skills class and counseling to help themselves deal with their issues and the issues with their child. I encourage you never be ashamed of admitting you need help. There are many parents in your same position.
This post focuses on two main areas where a child might display a tantrum. Parents will learn ways to deal with a child’s tantrum at home, and ways to deal with a child tantrum in a public place.
Ways to deal with a child’s tantrum at home
Step #1 Do not get angry
Suggestion: It’s not about you but about understanding the reason the child is displaying the tantrum. You must understand the child is either testing a boundary or someone did something to the child or the parents contributed to the situation. You must determine the issues that caused the child’s tantrum in order to deal with the negative behavior properly.
Step #2 Understand the reasons behind the child’s tantrum
Suggestion: Ask the child with a kind and loving heart what’s wrong even if you know. This gives the child an opportunity to communicate their feelings to you. You will be better equipped to assist the child. If the child can’t talk, ask the child to show you by pointing fingers.
Step # 3 Communicate with affection
Suggestion: Give the child affirmation that you heard them. You should address the issue with calmness and love regardless as to who is involved or contributed to the problem.
Step #4 Avoid babying the child
Suggestion: The child’s tantrum might be a way of controlling you as well. You should try to avoid the trap of being too sympathetic. A child knows how to manipulate you. Always deal with the child’s tantrum when it first starts. This will minimize a reoccurrence of the tantrum.
Step #5 Do not yell or scream at the child
Suggestion: Yelling and screaming only creates a bigger problem. You must model a behavior you want the child to use as a tool to solve problems.
Step #6 Keep trying to understand the problem with patience
Suggestion: It will help you to solve the problem with a caring and understanding manner. Look into the child’s eyes and firmly talk with love about the tantrum.
Step #7 Don’t give up if the child is not responsive to your strategies
Allow the child to continue the tantrum as long as the child is not in danger. Place the child in a safe place where you can watch the child. Affirm your love for the child. Let the child know when the tantrum is over, you will return to talk to them about their behavior. You must endure the waiting game.
Step #8 Avoid giving up if the child refuses to listen
Suggestion: Allow the child to remain in a safe area. You can discipline the child later such as taking away the child’s favorite toy for a short period of time. Stand your ground, don’t let those tears and eyes fool you.
Ways to deal with a tantrum in a public place
Issue #1 Tantrum is a result of you refusing to buy the child an item
Suggestion: Share with the child the reason you didn’t purchase the item. Let the child know the negative behavior will not change your decision.
Issue #2 The child’s negative behavior causes you embarrassment
Suggestion: When you feel embarrassed about your child’s tantrum in a public place, you are most likely to deal with the negative behavior in an incorrect manner.
Issue #3 Child will not stop crying
Suggestion: You must endure the crying and not worry about what other people are saying. Stay in control of your actions regardless of the child’s behavior without yelling or screaming. It won’t be easy, but as the parent you must stay in control with a loving heart. Above all, don’t give into the behavior. If you give in to the child’s behavior, the child could use it against you the next time you deny to purchase an item.
Issue #4 Child sits on the floor and you have other children with you
Suggestion: In this case, you have several options. You could pick the child up calmly and carry the child to the car or the entire family could sit on the floor with the child. Yes, right on the floor in a public place away from traffic. Get the other children to understand what you are doing and that you need their assistance.
Issue #5 Arrival at home after the child’s tantrum
Suggestion: Let the child know the negative behavior was unacceptable and explain the consequences associated with the negative behavior. Discipline the child. You must choose the appropriate disciplinary action for the child. Make sure you discipline with a loving heart and not out of anger.
Parents, never attack your children with demeaning words. Stand your ground with love and respect. Raise your children to become nice, strong, respectful and successful citizens. They are learning life long skills they can use the rest of their lives. It is important to be great parents now while they are still soaking up knowledge.
Written by Mr. Wisdom
(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc. Alrights Reserved Worldwide