Category Archives: Parenting

Provide real world advise based from experience. Articles and motivation to help you along the way. Information from parents who acquired help to improve relationships within the family.

An Amazing New Life and Home

Revelation 21:1-17; John 14:1-7

Points to Ponder

  1. We will see the transformation of heaven and earth (Revelation 21:1).
  2. God will dwell on earth with us because of his divine love for humanity (Revelation 21:2-3).
  3. We will be purified of our sinful ways (Revelation 21:4).
  4. We will have a new beginning greater than anything we can envision because we have remained faithful (Revelation 21:5-7).
  5. Those of us with an unrepentant heart and engrossed in ungodly behaviors will not have a new life with God (Revelation 21:8).
  6. God shows honor to his people for their faithfulness (Revelation 21:9-14).
  7. God’s earthly home will be amazing to see and enjoy for eternity (Revelation 21:15-17).

Something to Consider

God has revealed his perfect plan for Christians. He gives hope through the Revelation of John. It’s clearly written in the scripture that God’s love for us is remarkable and unwavering. He will live with us on earth. He will transform everything for his glory. We are privileged to be a part of an amazing new life with God and our family.  We must embrace His promises as we observe moral values decaying in this world.  We must share the hope we believe about God’s incredible promises:

(1) He will wipe away every tear from our eyes. 

(2) There will be no more death.

(3) Neither shall there be mourning,

(4) There will be no crying.

(5) There will be no pain.

(6) God will live with us.

(7) There will be a new earth and new heaven.

We will have an amazing new life and home. We must eagerly share the future hope we have in Jesus to everyone before it’s too late.

Steps to Deal with a Child’s Tantrum

I decided to update this post because of a conversation I had with someone regarding a rebellious child. Many times a child behavior is a reflection of issues parents are facing in their relationship.  Parents that are arguing significantly and fighting in the presence of the child will pass their negative behavior onto their children. It very important for parents to understand their contribution to the child or children negative behavior. Parents should immediately begin to address their personal problems which will help address the child’s negative behavior before it become too severe12-8-2004 (3)-15. Parents should attend a life skills class and counseling to help themselves deal with their issues and the issues with their child. I encourage you never be ashamed of admitting you need help. There are many parents in your same position.

This post focuses on two main areas where a child might display a tantrum. Parents will learn ways to deal with a child’s tantrum at home, and ways to deal with a child tantrum in a public place.

 Ways to deal with a child’s tantrum at home

Step #1 Do not get angry

Suggestion: It’s not about you but about understanding the reason the child is displaying the tantrum.  You must understand the child is either testing a boundary or someone did something to the child or the parents contributed to the situation. You must determine the issues that caused the child’s tantrum in order to deal with the negative behavior properly.

Step #2 Understand the reasons behind the child’s tantrum

Suggestion: Ask  the child with a kind and loving heart what’s wrong even if you know. This gives the child an opportunity to communicate their feelings to you. You will be better equipped to assist the child. If the child can’t talk, ask the child to show you by pointing fingers.

Step # 3 Communicate with affection

Suggestion: Give the child affirmation that you heard them.  You should address the issue with calmness and love regardless as to who is involved or contributed to the problem.

Step #4 Avoid babying the child

Suggestion: The child’s tantrum might be a way of controlling you as well.  You should try to  avoid the trap of being too sympathetic.  A child knows how to manipulate you. Always deal with the child’s tantrum when it first starts. This will minimize a reoccurrence of the tantrum.

Step #5 Do not yell or scream at the child

Suggestion: Yelling and screaming only creates a bigger problem. You must model a behavior you want the child to use as a tool to solve problems.

Step #6 Keep trying to understand the problem with patience

Suggestion: It will help you to solve the problem with a caring and understanding manner. Look into the child’s eyes and firmly talk with love about the tantrum.

Step #7 Don’t give up if the child is not responsive to your strategies

Allow the child to continue the tantrum as long as the child is not in danger. Place the child in a safe place where you can watch the child.  Affirm your love for the child.  Let the child know when the tantrum is over, you will return to talk to them about their behavior.  You must endure the waiting game.

Step #8 Avoid giving up if the child refuses to listen

Suggestion: Allow the child to remain in a safe area. You can discipline the child later such as taking away the child’s favorite toy for a short period of time. Stand your ground, don’t let those tears and eyes fool you.

Ways to deal with a tantrum in a public place

Issue #1 Tantrum is a result of you refusing to buy the child an item

Suggestion: Share with the child the reason you didn’t purchase the item.  Let the child know the  negative behavior will not change your decision.

Issue #2 The child’s negative behavior causes you embarrassment

Suggestion: When you feel embarrassed about your child’s tantrum in a public place, you are most likely to deal with the negative behavior in an incorrect manner.

Issue #3 Child will not stop crying

Suggestion: You must endure the crying and not worry about what other people are saying.  Stay in control of your actions regardless of the child’s behavior without yelling or screaming.  It won’t be easy, but as the parent you must stay in control with a loving heart.  Above all, don’t give into the behavior.  If you give in to the child’s behavior, the child could use it against you the next time you deny to purchase an item.

Issue #4 Child sits on the floor and you have other children with you

Suggestion:  In this case, you have several options.  You could pick the child up calmly and carry the child to the car or the entire family could sit on the floor with the child.  Yes, right on the floor in a public place away from traffic.  Get the other children to understand what you are doing and that you need their assistance.

Issue #5  Arrival at home after the child’s tantrum

Suggestion: Let the child know the negative behavior was unacceptable and explain the consequences associated with the negative behavior.  Discipline the child.  You must choose the appropriate disciplinary action for the child.  Make sure you discipline with a loving heart and not out of anger.

Parents, never attack your children with demeaning words. Stand your ground with love and respect.  Raise your children to become nice, strong, respectful and successful citizens.  They are learning life long skills they can use the rest of their lives.  It is important to be great parents now while they are still soaking up knowledge.

Written by Mr. Wisdom

 

(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc. Alrights Reserved Worldwide

Parents’ Propectives on What They Learned and Will do Differently After Their Expereince in A Life Skills Workshop

This article describes how parents felt after attending a life skills workshop. They shared their perspectives on changes they needed to make in regard to their relationship with their children. or especially the teenager.  Hopefully, this information will be absolutely beneficial as you work to bring stability to your household.  Every family is unique but faces similar issues. How you respond to those issues can lead to a fantastic outcome or a night mare. It’s up to you to make the right choice regardless of your situation. The parents that attended the life skills workshop recognized the changes they needed to implement in their household.  If you can identify with their comments, please consider making the appropriate changes in your life and feel good about the decisions you are doing to motivate and encourage your children to be successful.

What did you learn from Importance of Family: How to Connect Workshop?

 

  • I learned to listen; communicate with my child whether than yell at them!
  • To listen to my child more.
  • I learned a lot about myself on how I need to become firmer as a parent, need to become consistent with my discipline and follow through.
  • I learned how to handle situations that I will come across with my kids in a more appropriate way instead of yelling and being negative.
  • To trust in myself and be confident and strong after being disabled. I had lost a lot of confidence but I have the same brain just not the same body.
  • To stop and think before I react to the child and that all opinions are important.
  • I feel I learned how to not only be a better parent but to be a better person.
  • To take time and listen to my children, and to be consistent with punishment. Try not to yell when they have done wrong.
  • I learned that to argue with a child isn’t going to solve a problem. It taught me that being open-minded goes a long way and helps to understand a child more.
  • How to communicate without negativity.
  • I learned how to speak better with my children and the need to spend more time with them and the listen more.
  • To listen, not overreact and to think positive and instill positive thoughts.
  • To be a better parent, how to communicate with my child without yelling. Let my child communicate their feelings, and emotions. I need to better my relationship with my child.

 What will you do differently as a result of the Importance of Family: How to Connect Workshop?

 

  • Stop yelling at them!
  • Have more family time.
  • I will be a better listener
  • I will be more positive towards the way I communicate with my kids and not yell as much.
  • We will communicate better, take the yelling out, talk and earn his trust back.
  • To calm down listen more and give more praise.
  • How I handle disciplining situations.
  • Listen more to what they say and have more family time.
  • I will change the way I handle bad situations by taking a breather then discuss the problem.
  • Stop my yelling, swearing and try to communicate more with my son.
  • I will try to be a better parent, person and so as much as possible to help my child.
  • I hope to make more time for family and respect my daughter’s decisions and opinions.

 

 Article by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr.

 

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.               All Rights Reserved Worldwide

 

Parents Are Valuing Life Skills Strategies To Help Raise Their Children

Parents Are Valuing Life Skills Strategies To Help Raise Their Children

Listed below are comments from parents that attended a life skills workshop. We will continue to share with you parents perspectives on the values of attending a life skills workshop. We believe that our articles should contain information that reflects the challenges parents are facing with their children, especially parents with teenagers. 

Shawn’s Testimonial

“As a parent, I will work on listening to my children. I will work on yelling less to not at all. It was encouraging hearing suggestions in the life skills workshop and especially the things we are already doing now with our children. There were several times I questioned if I am parenting correctly. The life skills workshop helped to reiterating what I am doing at home is the correct path as well as room for improvement.

The life skills workshop should be offered to new parents. I thought the workshop was very powerful and helped me look at myself and what I need to work on at home. I believe more in myself.”

Matthew’s Testimonial

“I learned I needed more sensible discussion with my troubled son without some of the anger of past disciplining. I have tried yelling in the past to discipline my children. I have discipline while angry immediately after the incident. The instructor showed me ways to get things out of my child without yelling and being angry but to discipline the correct way. I believe my son will be a much better person after this workshop because my wife and I attend it together. I needed this workshop to take a step back and refocus my energy in a proper and beneficial way towards assisting my family and son.

Christiana’s Testimonial

“I now value the importance of building a relationship with my children including caring and making supper. It’s important that their physical, spiritual, educational and emotional needs are met as well.  I will stop pouring into my child yelling and begin to invest motivating, encouraging, and listening to my children. Instead of trying to rule over them, I will listen and try to get to the root cause of the problem. Sometimes, I walk away and never know what my son is feeling. When I do walk away, it hinders my son from wanting to do better and it makes things worse because now he is angry and won’t talk to me. I do still need to be firm and stand up for what I believe even if it’s not popular. I will share more encouragement, praise, love, time and proper discipline with my son.”

Jim’s Testimonial

“As learned in the parenting class today, it is important to be directly involved with your children in everything they do. By this I mean, you have to influence them from the time they are young and be a positive person in their life. Most of the things we covered are plainly obvious but it is so easy to forget of stray from these positive aspects. I believe that the life skills’ strategies will help me to refocus on these little things that make a difference. It will help me become more of a positive influence moving forward with my children. Instead of invoking negative thoughts, I will forcus on being understanding and caring towards my children.  Negative things can and do happen in life and as a parent, I have position of authority to help guide my children through their issues. I am very glad that I attended the life skills workshop and also that my teenager is involved in the anger management and critical thinking classes.

Article by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr.

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.               All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Mistakes Parents Made with Their Children through Their Adolescence Years

Mistakes Parents Made with Their Children through Their Adolescence Years

Parents, have you ever made mistakes with your children and wished you had handled the situations differently? I personally don’t know of a single parent that hasn’t made mistakes with their children.  I have counseled parents that deliberately hurt their children because of their own negative experiences during childhood. One thing I do know is that you can’t take back the mistakes but you can learn from them and make better choices in the future.  I encourage mothers and fathers to avoid making mistakes that will damage your children emotionally for the rest of their lives. The core foundations of families in society are broken such as in the development of the emotional, educational, physical and spiritual needs of the children.

During a life skills workshop, I had a fantastic dialog with mothers and fathers relative the mistakes they made with their children. I ask the parents what mistakes you made raising your children. I hope you enjoy reading their responses listed below.

What mistakes have you made raising your children?

Mary’s Mistakes

“I did not listen enough when they were trying to tell me something and there was not sufficient communication with my children. I yelled back at them when they were yelling at me and I did not follow through with discipline. I said many negative things in arguments we had. I did not give my youngsters enough attention when they needed it most. I did not praise them enough on their accomplishments. I put some of my own needs before theirs. I said negative things about their father a few times to the children, and I did n0t set boundaries. I did not build a great family relationship. I did not keep them in sports so they were not out in the streets which would have stopped them from getting into trouble. There was not enough trust and love toward my children.”

Val’s Mistakes

“I let my teenage son always get what he wants. I would bribe him with money. I let him miss school when he wanted to. I never really sat down and talked to my son. I never gave him a chance to let me know how he felt. I used to choose my friends and partying over my son. I would put my girlfriend before him”

Sally’s Mistakes

“I did not give my youngsters rules as they got older. I yelled first and had guilt afterward. I tried to be their friend instead of their parent. I gave in often after I punished in quilt. I yelled a lot to get my point across then I just forgot about the situation.”

Susana’s Mistakes

“As a single parent, I gave and gave instead of them earning or working for things. I feel things would have been better if I had set more boundaries. As a single parent, I had so many grounds to cover as a mom and dad. I was their mother and father. They are older now and not really respecting my struggles and responsibility as a concerned mother. I can’t hold their hands and walk them through life, and they have to do their part; such as school, getting a job, and move out on their own, and live a life of love.”

Rosesetta’s Mistakes

“I was not there all the time for my children. I did not listen to them more about their feelings. I didn’t show them the right and the wrong way. I should have been more responsible. I said the wrong thing too much and I did not do enough discipline with my children.”

Angelica’s Mistakes

“Some mistakes I made were not listening and I sometimes say things off the handle instead of listening. I sometimes say things out of anger which sometimes hurt as bad as being shot. I spoiled my kids to the point that my daughter thinks every pair of Jordan’s shoes that come out she should get them. I think I let my son get away with too much which makes my daughter think it is okay to do. When I put my kids on punishment they should stick to it. But I let them off punishment early which made the youngsters think mom is mad today but I can leave tomorrow. I talked bad things about the kids’ father when frustrated and the kids heard it. Sometimes, I lose my temper and just acted in a way my kids should not see. So what I am saying is that what I do is a prime example of what my kids do. But I will never give up and will change with the help of God.”

Brandon’s Mistakes

“I have been distance, selfish and wrapped up in my own personal problems”

“I have not paid sufficient attention to them and taken their concerns seriously. I have been distance, selfish and wrapped up in my own personal problems. I have not shown enough love to my children nor told them enough. I forgot promises made and did not follow through with the obligations. I have not spent enough time with them nor been involved with their lives. I fought with their mother over unimportant things. I have not financially supportive my children enough. I have pushed them for the bad things but I have not’ praised them enough for the good things my children do.”

Mark’s Mistakes

“I gave my children too much and I let them do things after we said no. I spoiled my children and yelled at them too much. I got angry at some of the silly things. Not talking to grandparents about what we do and do not want our children to have. Not listening to spouse when making decisions because of different points of view. Not being aware of who my children are socializing with. Not discussing situation with my spouse before either one sets punishment and spouse not being on the same page.”

You have read about the mistakes parents made with their children. I am hopeful you will seriously look at the dynamics of your family. Perhaps there are some changes you need to make in your household with your children. Here are 20 steps parents can use to avoid making damaging mistakes with your youngsters.

  1. Spend time with your children
  2. Stop what you are doing and listen to your children when they are trying to tell you something
  3. Follow through when disciplining your youngsters
  4. Praise your children sufficiently on their accomplishments
  5. Avoid saying negative things to your children during conflict
  6. Don’t’ talk negatively to your children about mother or father
  7. Model the right way you want your children to live
  8. Give your children rules and boundaries
  9. Know who your children spent time with
  10. Avoid losing your temper in front of your children
  11. Don’t forget the promises you made to your youngsters
  12. Take your children concerns seriously
  13. Get your children counseling if needed
  14. Follow through on your obligation for your adolescences
  15. Work together with spouse when disciplining your children
  16. Avoid saying the wrong things too much
  17. Support the family financially
  18. Inform grandparents the thing you prefer them not to give to your children
  19. Avoid spoiling your children too much
  20. Do not be your children friend but instead be the parent

Finally, you can not control your children but you must give them the skills needed to make the right choices when they are not around you. When you make a mistake with your children, please apologize and ask them to forgive you.  You have the power and the ability to invest wisely in your children’ lives.

Written by:  Billy J. Strawter, Sr

© EnviCare Consulting Inc.                          All Rights Reserved

Parenting Advice Help Parents to Improve Their Parenting Skills

Parenting Advice Help Parents to Improve Their Parenting Skills

Video:Parents and Teens Invest Wisely in Your Brain

Parents are constantly bombarded with opportunities to raise their children to become responsible adolescents and adults. However, fathers and mothers can’t escape the prospect of facing a rebellious child. There always seems to be one person within the family that creates more problems than the rest of the children if parents have more than one child. Sometimes hopelessness invades the mind of parents when the child’s behavior is chronic. Parents, you are not facing this issue alone but you must believe that your child’s behavior can change.  If you are facing issues with your children or young adult, it’s very valuable to attend a life skills workshop which is very beneficial. A life skills workshop can provide parents with additional tools to confront your family’s issues, and experience what other parents are going through as well and you won’t feel alone. Listed below are parents’ stories about their experiences in an “Important of family: How to Connect” life skills workshop.

Nick’s Experience

“I have  learned that approaching issues with my children have a better chance of positive outcomes if handled with understanding; instead of reacting out of anger. I will deal with the heart of the matter in a calm and nurturing way, one which fosters love and understanding and teaches rather than hurt. As a parent, I want my children to learn how actions have consequences and the responsibility inherent in those actions. I want them to be caring and responsible adults and this workshop has opened my eyes to different approaches to raising my children.”

Debbie’s Experience

I will be there for my children when I know they have made bad choices.

“I learned that family is more important than anything. I’m a single mom raising a 12 year old daughter and a 17 year old teenage son. I cherish both of my children very much. Being a single parent and working 40 hours or more per week is hard, I have learned to cope and deal with it. Attending the life skill class is the best thing that could have happened to me. It taught me how to be a better parent, to stop and listen to my children. It helps me to see how important their opinions are to me. I learned that yelling and screaming is not the answer to correcting my children’s behavior. I will let youngsters know I value their opinions and I learned not to always point the blame at my children. I will be there for my children when I know they have made bad choices.”

Kathie’s Experience

“I came to the life skills class not knowing what to expect. I actually enjoyed the class and learned a few things. It was good to see other parents in the life skills class and that I’m not the only one facing challenges with my children. It has taught me to listen more to my children. A child needs their parents to listen, just as much as we need them to listen. The life skills class taught me that children do things for multiple reasons. I also learned that it is true that kids do things to look good for their friends because of peer pressure. I am going to do my best to use the things I learned to apply at home. I want more than anything for my child to be her best, for her to know that she can trust me; and she can succeed in life and not let others influence her negatively. I learned it’s never too late to get additional life skills.”

Amelia’s Experience

“I am leaving the life skills class today with the expectation of have a better relationship with my daughter and maybe avoid having this problem with my other children. I’m going to use more positive words in my home and try not to argue at everything that might go wrong. I am going to close my mouth a little more and listen to what they have to say before I yell or react to things. I feel like this class has helped me open my eyes to the fact that I am dealing with a young adult and not a baby. She has opinions and thoughts that need to be heard.  I’m going to follow through with any discipline that set and give more thoughts to what kind of discipline is appropriate.”

 Parenting Advice

Listed below are valuable skills that parents had in common after attending a life skills class for parents. We hope you will reflect on the skills to apply in your situations.

  1. Deal with your child’s behavior in a calm manner
  2. Provide appropriate discipline
  3. Don’t think it’s too late to learn life skills
  4. Use more positive words with your children
  5. Screaming and yelling won’t solve the problem
  6. Stop what you are doing and listen to your children
  7. Don’t’ deal with young adults as a child
  8. Don’t point all the blame toward the child
  9. Close mouth a little more and listen to the child
  10. Be available for the child even though the child made a bad choice

Attending a life skills class is very beneficial to attaining parenting advice which helps parents to improve their parenting skills with their children.

Written By: Billy J. Strawter, Sr

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.               All Rights Reserved

 

Teenagers Journey in Anger Management and Critical Thinking Classes

Teenagers Journey in Anger Management and Critical Thinking Classes

As parents, we sometimes fail to recognize the complexity of adolescences lives. Every day many of our youngsters deal with issues we didn’t face as teenagers.  For example, we weren’t apprehensive about our friends posting private information on social media, bullying and epidemic of divorce in society, and traveling to different parents’ homes as result of the divorce. They are subject to different rules which cause conflict within their hearts. The lack of stability in the family is destroying many teens and they are becoming very angry. Some are becoming more disrespectful to adults and their parents. All these things impact the quality of parents, mothers, and leaders that will guide us in the future.

Parents can’t protect their children always so it our parental responsibility to teach the adolescences the skills needed to survive the confusion of life. We can guide teens by preparing  them to control their feelings and emotions when faced with conflicts. Listed below are teen’s comments regarding two classes they attended called Anger Management and Critical Thinking. The teens learned first how to control their anger and then how to apply critical thinking from stories written by teenagers and adults.

Roseland’s Comments:

“Throughout my journey in the anger management and critical thinking class it helped me to realize that there is more to life. It helped me to realize that I’m very close-minded. If I had these skills before I got in a bad situation, the outcome would have been completely different because it wouldn’t have happen.  As much as I hated I got caught, I recognized God had a better plan. He gave me an opportunity meet an amazing teacher. These classes were very beneficial for me. I am sad that my journey in these classes has come to an in. I am sad but hopeful because I know I got something out of the classes that can never be taken away from me. I do believe that everything happens for a reason and my reason was to be planted in the anger management and critical thinking classes.”

Vera’s Comments

“The anger management and critical thinking classes impacted my life so much. I learned how to control my attitude (feelings and emotions) and temper (revenge and anger).  I would fight, yell, scream, and do things that were very disrespectful. Now I know to communicate my feeling with respect and not get out of hand by yelling and fighting.  Being in the classes for eight weeks, it taught me to do the right thing.  In the future, I know when I am in a situation I can resolve the conflict without fighting or yelling. I have benefited so much from being in the classes and I am glad I took them.”

Dale’s Comments:

“Over the past eight week, I have learned a lot of good things that I can use later in life or when I get into a tough situation or when I need to control my attitude and temper. I learned that when I am mad, it’s best to think about what I’m going to do before I do it. If I don’t, it will have a hug negative impact on my present and future. Therefore, when control my attitude and temper it will have a positive impact on my life. I will be able to talk through a situation without arguing and adding fuel to the situation.  I learned that what you put in your piggy bank that’s what you will get out.  The piggy bank represents my brain. This means if you like arguing or fighting that is what you will do every most times. If you resolve conflict respectfully, it well becomes a habit. Therefore, I learned to be respectful and now I am being more responsible which leads to positive outcomes.”

 

 

 

 

Lovelene’s comments:

“Anger management and critical thinking classes taught me how to stay in control of my temper, and attitude. I get mad quickly but I don’t talk it out with anyone then it lowers my self-esteem. I learned not to let my temper control me. For example, I take time out before I react to a negative situation. I am working harder on getting my education. I like critical thinking better because it had examples of problems teenagers go through. It makes you think if I was in that person place what would I do to be honest and make right choices. I learned about the importance of a relationship relating to love, honesty, and trust as it relates to my parents. I am grateful that I had an opportunity to be involved with the anger management and critical thinking classes. It makes teens realize that their mistakes can lead to bad situation and without making teenagers feel bad.”

Kaleen’s Comments:

“The anger management and critical thinking classes changed my life in many ways. I appreciated the help to keep from having sticky fingers. I am thankful to receive another chance in life because I probably would have gone to a juvenile detention facility or someplace bad.  It was nice being in the classes because I learned how to better control my attitude and temper. I am talking more nicely and now walk away from others whose doing wrong. I am so thankful for a second chance and I will do better with my life.”

Comments

The common things that benefited the teenagers as result of attending an anger management and critical thinking classes are listed below:

  1. Improved their self-esteem
  2. Started  to think  more positive of themselves and others
  3. Became more responsible which lead to positive outcomes
  4. Started to speak kindhearted to people
  5. Appreciated being given a second chance
  6. Learned to control their attitude and temper
  7. Valued being taught how to control their anger
  8. Built better relationship with family and peers
  9. Communicated better with their parents and others
  10. Learned it was okay to attend anger management and critical thinking classes
  11. Decided education was very important for their future.
  12. Applied more positive thinking

The teenagers that attended the anger management and critical thinking classes had no idea how their lives would be influenced. The teenagers weren’t interested and the teens were afraid of attending the classes. They didn’t want to be ridiculed doing the classes nor disrespected. However, many of the youngsters found comfort because they knew the classes were for their best interest. They felt the teach had a caring and compassionate heart for them.

Advice for Youngsters

Teens, if you are experiencing anger problems, don’t hesitate to attend classes that will empower you to control your attitude and temper. Persevere to avoid investing in your heart things that will negatively affect your character and relationship with others. Please improve your life skills which will aid you when conflicts occur. It’s healthier to be prepared before you are confronted with difficult situations. You are absolutely important to the success of society, and there is high expectation of  teens to mature and to be successful responsible adults.  In the future, you possibly will become  fathers or mothers or leaders and your life skills will be very critically important.

We need you to lead our country with a caring and compassionate heart  for all of God’s creation. You were not borne just to serve yourself but to serve others. The benefits to your self-sacrificing services are blessings and strength to overcome obstacles you’ll face the rest of your life. We hope  strength, peace and  joy will travel with you to end of your life. Never forget your journey is different from other teenagers because you are uniquely created.  You should be you and not someone else. You must always desire to manager your anger by applying critical thinking when faced with complex conflicts.

Written: Billy J. Strawter, Sr

© EnviCare Consulting, Inc                 all Rights Reserved

Parents Feel Angry, Betrayed, Disappointed and Hurt When Teenagers Don’t Tell the Truth

Parents Feel  Angry, Betrayed, Disappointed and Hurt When Teenagers Don’t Tell The Truth

Parenting teenagers can be very challenging sometimes as they seek their independence. Sometimes parents wonder did they received the right baby from the hospital because the child is disconnected from the family. It’s amazing as parents observe their children grow up they wonder what will they become as an adult. The greatest hope is for their teenagers to be protected from emotional scares and the desire for the youngsters to be very successful. Suddenly, a great storm arises in the relationship do to an unbelievable choice the child made. The parents didn’t hear about the problem from their teen but were informed by someone else.  It’s an emotional roller coaster for parents when their adolescents fail to tell them the truth.  Listed below is how parents feel when their teens avoid telling the truth when they are in trouble.

How do you feel when your children don’t tell you the truth?

Stacy’s Responses:

  • It depends upon what’s it about and I try to talk to her
  • I want to know the reason for not telling me the truth

Deborah’s Responses:

  • I feel angry, frustrated and disappointed
  • I start yelling and screaming
  • I don’t listen
  • Teenagers don’t trust me

Ted’s Responses:

  • Disappointed because they ate making bad choices
  • Frustrated because I think what did I do wrong
  • Sadden because they are not open to telling me the truth

Albert’s Responses:

  • I feel let down
  • I feel angry and disappointed
  • I haven’t done my job

Kathie Responses:

  • I feel like I haven’t done my job
  • I ask myself where did I go wrong
  • I think back to trust, does my child not trust me

Hillary Responses:

  • I feel my teen have betrayed me
  • They are wrong
  • They don’t trust me
  • I feel I failed them
  • I feel hurt and angry

Paulina’s Responses:

  • I feel very sad that my teen don’t trust me to tell me what happened
  • I feel betrayed and disappointed

Carries’ Responses:

  • I feel sad and hurt because you have taught them right from wrong
  • Disappointed that they can’t talk to us about anything

Lee’s Responses:

  • I am disappointed, lost trust, and angry at my teen
  • I am in disbelief

Julia’s Responses:

  • Betrayed
  • Let down
  • Hurt
  • Disappointed

Marcia’s Responses:

  • Upset
  • Angry
  • Disappointed

Advice for teenagers

Teenagers, I encourage you to understand how untruthfulness hurt your parents’ feelings which creates different emotions. You must do everything within your power to always tell your parents the truth. Don’t hide anything from them but be brave, caring and understanding. They might overreact but their love for you will last forever. You must be patient with your parents as they process why you didn’t tell the truth. Let unconditional love and respect for your parents be the guiding light for you all the days of your life. Listed be are several responses that are common to parents:

  1. They are disappointed in their teenagers lack of truthfulness
  2. They felt betrayed because their teens weren’t willing to tell the truth
  3. They lost trust in their teens because they weren’t honest
  4. They were very angry with their teenagers for not being open
  5. They felt as though they had failed as parents

Teenager, please process your parents’ feelings and emotions. Ponder upon their feelings in your heart, soul and mind. Once again, always apply truth daily in your life. Always remember that parents feel angry, betrayed, disappointed and hurt when teenagers don’t tell the truth.

 

Written By: Billy J. Strawter, Sr

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.               All Rights Reserved

Changes Teenagers Need of Their Father to Improve Relationship

Have you ever had the desire for someone to change their negative behavior because it was destroying or damaging the relationship? I am quite sure your answer is probably, yes! As a parent, I have made many mistakes but I always valued our teenagers’ perspective on things. Sometimes we disagreed but we did everything we could to prevent damaging the relationship. My greatest desire was to always respect my adolescents’ opinions.

Video: Stategies for a father to improve relationship with their teenager

Listed below are changes teenagers said they needed of their father to improve their relationship:

 Sierra: “My father and I have a good relationship. But I know I have a lot of hostility against him because of how much he drinks. I don’t. normally let the hostility out but sometimes I do. I know sometime it hurt but it hurts me to watch him drink every day.”

Sara wants her father to stop drinking because of the damage the alcohol is doing to her father physically and emotionally. She was very concerned about the impact on their relationship. I hope that one day Sierra’s father will stop drinking so that her life will be better as they rebuild their relationship. Her father needs to seek help to stop drinking. I pray and hope he will make a commitment to get help.

Frank: “My pop needs to listens to me more often

 Vanessa: “My father needs to talk to me instead of arguing with me.”

Dallas: “My father needs to spend more time with me and be there for me without yelling at me. Talk to me instead of yelling at me.”

Tammy: “My daddy needs to be in my life more.  Daddy needs to understand where I am coming from about everything.”

Hillary: “I wish my dad would come to see me more often and spend time with me. I also want my dad to love me in spite of all the mistakes I have made!”

Ruby: “My father needs to talk to me more often and don’t tell me he’s going to do things for me and then he doesn’t follow through”

Comments on teenagers’ responses to question

Adolescents are wonderful to be around to engage in a conversation about life. Teens are very intelligent but some have deficiencies in life skills which may and may not be as a result of their doing. These teenagers shared their feelings but sometimes they fail to share their feelings with their father. Listed below are 16 steps every father in the world should consider to improve their relationship with their teenager:

Fifteen (16) steps for a father to improve relationship with their teenager

  1. Always keep your promise
  2. Do not make a promise you can’t keep
  3.  Explain why you can’t keep the promise before hand, if the promise must be broken
  4. Avoid substance of abuse to prevent damaging the relationship with your teenager.
  5. Take time to listen and give advice only when your teenager ask for it
  6.  Do not yell at your teenager but speak firmly with a loving and caring heart
  7.  Make spending time with your teenager a high priority
  8.  Avoid working when you are spending time with your teenager
  9. Communicate your feelings with respect to your teenager during conflict
  10. Do not give material things as a substitute to spending time with your teenager
  11. Model being a great father to your youth
  12. Teach your teenager the life skills needed to be successful
  13. Show unconditional love regardless of the number of wrong choices your youngster makes
  14. Model to your adolescent the value of serving others
  15. Value your teenager’s opinion as a supportive father building a relationship your teenager
  16. Show your teenager what it means to be committed to a relationship

Written: Billy J.  Strawter, Sr

(c) 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.   All rights reserved

Strategies Parents Can Use to Control Attitude and Temper

Listed below are simple strategies parents can use to control their feelings and emotions when faced with major obstacles.  If you are facing problems in a relationship; such as the workplace or with your children, these simple strategies will work.  Parents, you face many challenges every day whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom or dad.

Parents, it is very important to understand the magnitude of the daily challenges you face. If you deal with them improperly, you can damage your relationship with your teenager and younger children as well as with your spouse if married. When you are out of control, undesirable negative consequences may occur.  Life is never simple but the more resources you have in your arsenal to combat difficult issues during conflicts, you will become more successful.

Listed below are potential negative consequences due to uncontrolled attitude and temper.

Negative Consequences of Uncontrolled Attitude and Temper

  • Closed mindedness
  • Create insecurity Reduced creativity, innovation & productivity
  • Fosters Broken relationships
  • Lead to physical sickness
  • Creates uncontrolled depression and stress
  • Use of drugs, tobacco and alcohol
  • Isolate self from peers
  • Perform just enough to complete the task
  • Abandon responsibility
  • Poor eating habits
  • Foster Low self-esteem
  • Lead to potential divorce
  • Negative impact on family and others
  • Lead to potential incarceration
  • loss of credibility
  • Leads to negative impact on character
  • Causes an individual to potential run away from responsibilities

Strategies to Control Attitude and Temper

  • Motivate self and others to move in the same direction
  • Accept changes
  • Accept constructive criticism
  • Avoid being jealous of peers
  • Avoid overreacting to a negative situation
  • Take time out before you react to a negative situation
  • Apologize when you are wrong or hurt a person’s feelings and or emotions
  • Avoid over use of your power
  • Believe in self and others
  • Communicate precisely and consistently with each other
  • Communicate your feelings with respect
  • Take time to relax and exercise
  • Eat a balanced and nutrient meal
  • Encourage each other to be innovative and creative
  • Perform regardless of the obstacles you face
  • Forgive those who disappoint or hurt you, it limits the pain
  • Take time to relax and exercise
  • Network when necessary to accomplish success
  • Resolve conflict quickly without submitting to Mr. and Mrs. Attitude and Temper

I am convinced that the greatest challenge we face as parents and individuals is the task of controlling our attitude and temper.  I hope with a sincere heart that those of you struggling with controlling your attitude and temper that you seek the help you need. This is necessary to avoid destroying relationships you have with your family and others.  You must believe that you can control Mr. and Mrs. Attitude and Temper which is you.  I pray you will have the commitment and strength to apply the above simple strategies to control attitude and temper.

Written: Mr. Wisdom

(c) 2011 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.                              All Rights Reserved Worldwide