Category Archives: Relationship

Contains great information on positive ways to build a relationship

Are You Respecting Your Wife or Husband

Are You Respecting Your Wife or Husband?

 Ephesians 5:22-33, Hebrews 10:10, Titus 3:5-7, 1 Corinthians 6:15

 October 18, 2015

 Points to Ponder

  1. A wife must submit to her husband with Christian love (Ephesians 5:22-24).
  2. A husband must love his wife as Christ loves us so she will shine with the love of Christ in her heart (Ephesians 5:25).
  3. A husband must be willing to sacrifice himself for his wife as Christ did for the church to reconcile us to God (Ephesians 5:26-27, Hebrews 10:10, Titus 3:5-7).
  4. The husband has the responsibility to lead, serve and guide the family so they may enjoy the fruits of Christ’s labor (Ephesians 5:28-29).
  5. A husband must treat his wife with dignity and respect (Ephesians 5:30, 1 Corinthians 6:15).
  6. The husband and wife must be united as one but retain their own personality and identity (Ephesians 5:31).
  7. The husband and wife must persevere with love and respect towards one another regardless of the difficulties they face. (Ephesians 5:32-33).

 Something to Consider

Often times there is a misinterpretation of the meaning of the Biblical passage “Wife submit to your Husband”. When you read the entire text, you realize that God expects the husband to apply Godly principles in the relationship with his wife. God does not control us but he has given us a free will. Jesus demonstrated his love by serving mankind. He gave us unconditional love in spite of our sinful nature. He was totally committed to bringing salvation to us through His death on the cross. If a husband loves his wife in this way, she will willingly submit to him, just like the church submit to God.

Therefore, it’s essential for the husband to set an example by serving his wife and family. Here are the best methods for both spouses to utilize in their relationship:

  1. Know the love of Christ
  2. Provide unconditional love
  3. Respect each other
  4. Encourage
  5. Support
  6. Empathize
  7. Listen intently
  8. Spend time together
  9. Agree to disagree
  • Forgiveness
  • Apologize
  • Provide spiritual guidance to the family.

The husband and wife should understand each other’s uniqueness and personality which should complement the relationship. Their priority should be to show Christ’s likeness in the marriage. They must not allow poverty, wealth, anger, lust resentment, bitterness, nor selfishness to destroy their love and commitment they have towards each other. Husbands should lead (God’s design) by Christ’s example and not by dictatorship.

(c) 2015 Billy J. Strawter Sr.

Teenagers’ Reflections on What They Like About Their Teachers

Teenagers’ Reflections on What They Like About Their Teachers

Adolescences seem to have a variety of opinions relative to their experiences with teachers. This article focuses on the positive experiences teens’ encountered with their teachers.  Teachers play an important part of teens’ lives and teachers have a great influence on teens’ lives in positive and negative manners. It’s critical for teachers to invest words of encouragement instead of discouragement in teens’ lives. Teachers are great assets to teens, society, and should never neglect to build a strong professional relationship with their teens. We must help youngsters through their adolescents’ years.

Listed below are teens’ reflections relative to the following questions.

What do you like about teachers?

John’s Reflections:

  1. I like when they help you
  2. I like when they are cool
  3. I like funny teachers
  4. I like when a teacher let you use her phone in the class room
  5. When they let you play games
  6. When we watch movies
  7. When they tell you jokes
  8. When they are serious-minded

Davison’s Reflection:

  1. When teachers  are willing to help you
  2. When teachers  want you to learn
  3. You can turn to teachers for advice
  4. When they are role model’s

Christin’s Reflections:

  1. I like teachers who sit down with you when you need help
  2. When they like to make their classes fun and enjoyable
  3.  I like when they have a special relationship with students

Courtney’s Reflections:

  1. That some teachers take late work and you points
  2. They’re someone you can turn to if you need too
  3. Teachers are honest, and you can trust most of them
  4. They give good advice
  5. Teachers want to help teenagers
  6. When they don’t yell at me

LaToya’s Reflections:

  1. When they control their attitude
  2. Help keep me out of trouble
  3. When they are cool
  4. When they have a good relationship with teenagers
  5. Whey they help students

Haley’s Reflections:

  1. I like teachers that are there to help teens
  2. I like when they make sure you understand your work
  3. I like when teachers communicate with you
  4. I like when they are there to help you
  5. I like when teachers are lenient about work because it’s easier to get it done if you have plenty of time

Ashley’s Reflections:

  1. I like most of the teachers because they will understand and read their students
  2. I love that some will help you and give you advise on certain things
  3. Especially when they make a real relationship with their students having them to feel safe

 Comments:

It was very interesting to listen to the teenagers’ reflections on what they liked about teachers. It was a pleasure and honor to have a fantastic dialog with young people.  The most reoccurring statements teens liked about their teachers were when teachers took the time to help, give advice, and built a relationship with the students.

Listed below are recommendations for anyone involved in the lives of teenagers, especially teachers, social workers and youth workers.

  1. Take time to help teenagers with their needs
  2. Build a strong professional relationship with the teens
  3. Be aware of the teens’ behavior because they could be experiencing problems at home or with peers
  4. Give the teens good advice that will help them for a life time
  5. Understand what youngsters are facing on their life’s journey
  6. Make the classroom fun, enjoyable and a very serious environment for the teens to learn.
  7. Find someone else to help the teens if you lack the time
  8. Never yell at your students but speak with a firm and caring heart
  9. Communicate to the teenagers your classroom rules and preserve them throughout the year
  10. Speak words of affirmation to the teenagers

Life is never simple for adolescences and the challenges teenagers face are opportunities for everyone to make a difference in their lives. Youngsters should never feel emptiness because no one cares about them. Let’s shower teenagers with unconditional love to foster success as they face life’s challenges.

Written by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr.

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.               All Rights Reserved

Changes Mothers Need to Make to Improve Relationship with Teenagers

Changes Mothers Need to Make to Improve Relationship with Teenagers

Recently, I wrote an article regarding changes teenagers needed of their father to improve relationship. I thought it would also be interesting to evaluate how teenagers felt about their relationship with their mothers. Mothers are the greatest asset to the family.  I appreciate them greatly because moms bring a wealth of commitment, care and love to the family. Their energy fosters the right kind of family foundation. Every family needs emotional stability in the home. It’s amazing how many mothers multitask for the survival of the family.  Listed below are teenagers’ responses to the following questions:

What changes your mother needs to make to improve her relationship with you?

Sarah’s Responses:

“She needs to get better control of her emotions; I don’t think she realizes how her words affect me emotionally. I also think she needs to understand that we are two different people, which means we won’t always see eye to eye. Even though I am her child, she still has to respect my beliefs and opinions as she expects me to respect her.”

Frank’s Response:

“Mom needs to trust me more and try not to bring up the past all the time”

 Vivian’s Response

“Talk to me instead of yelling

 Doug’s Responses:

“Mom needs to get a job, car and house so that I can live with her part time without going to grandmother. She needs to go tell the court she needs visitation.”

 Tara’s Response:

“I wish mom won’t be so pushy on me. I want mom to be understanding about what I want to do.”

 Quanta’s Responses:

“I wish mother would talk stuff out instead of yelling. Don’t always put her husband over her kids, and I need mom to be there when I need her.

 Raven’s Responses:

“Mom needs to stop yelling so much and believe that sometimes I could be telling the truth. I want mom to stop assuming I am not telling the truth.”

 Cass’s Responses:

“I wish mom would let me enjoy my teen years instead of trying to have me to do and be what she wants me to be. Let me learn from my own mistakes. Mom needs to listen and believe me.”

 Kaila’s Responses:

My mother needs to change a lot. She needs to leave her boyfriend, get clean, and stay clean. Stop lying, stop stealing, take care of self and learn to take constructive criticism. I wish mom would go to rehab and just get better.

 Linda’s Responses:

“I want my mother to trust me more and I want to share anything with my mom. Sometimes, I feel like I can talk to my grandmother about anything before I can talk to my mother. Sometimes I am scared to talk to her so I just leave it to myself. I want to be able to go to places without her thinking I am doing something wrong. All I want is that my mother’s trust me.

 Peter’s Responses:

“My mom needs to work on her temper that she has with me. She needs to stop putting herself first.

 Ashley’s Responses:

“My mother needs to start a trustworthy relationship with me. Mom needs to change her attitude with me. Mom needs to understand I am me and no one else; she needs to improve her attitude and confidence in me and my brother. I never understood why she gets angry towards me after dad left. A lot of things start happening.”

 Haley’s Responses:

“To improve our relationship my mom needs to communicate with me more and try to show me she cares about our relationship. It would also help if she won’t yell as much. If she showed me she could stop yelling, it would help our relationship get better.”

 Sally’s Responses:

“My mom can’t really do anything to improve our relationship. The only thing we need is trust. It’s my fault we don’t have a trusting relationship but only time will improve our relationship.”

 Gray’s Responses:

“I wish my mom would stop going alone with what her boyfriend tells her and stop yelling at me without reason. I need her help once and a while and to have a day where only I and mom can have time together.”

 Tricia’s Responses:

“I wish my mother would stop drinking and stop calling me names. I want mom to be nicer to my little sister and brother, stop sleeping with other guys, stop buying and giving to minors and be a good mom that will listen to me.

 Other Teenagers Responses

  • I wish my mom wouldn’t pick an argument with me
  • Let me do more, trust me and don’t always argue
  • Nothing because we already have a really good relationship
  • My mother needs to be happier. It seems like she’s always mad with me
  • Mom needs to learn to control her anger even if I am the only target in the house
  • Mom needs to stop yelling at me when I’m not doing anything to get yelled at
  • My mother needs to listen to my side of the story instead of jumping to conclusion
  • I wish my mom would ask me nicely to do things instead of automatically get an attitude
  • My mother needs to think things through before she reacts and she needs to stop overreacting to the little things
  • My mom and I have a good relationship and no changes are needed
  • Mother needs to listen more and stop thinking she knows everything all the time
  • I wish mom would get me help when I need it

 Advice for Parents

There are so many factors that contribute to a great or poor relationship with teenagers. The information contained in this article is designed to give parents insight on how some teens feel about their mother. Mothers throughout the world are faced with many challenges raising children and especially when they become adolescents. Every parent should put their children first but don’t forget to stay healthy by exercising, eating healthy foods and spending time to yourself for relaxation. Please utilize trusted family members or friends to help you through the challenges you are facing with your youngsters. Listed below are simple recommendations on building a better relationship with your teenagers:

  1. Spend personal time with your teens
  2. Stop yelling at your children
  3. Listen with your heart
  4. Stop overreacting to teens negative behavior
  5. Think before you overreact
  6. Don’t believe you are always right
  7. Avoid valuing your boyfriend over your children
  8. Stop substance abuse
  9. Minimize getting an attitude and being angry
  10. Let the adolescents know you love them unconditionally
  11. Allow your youngsters to build trust
  12. Allow them to make some mistakes and help the teenagers work through the mistakes
  13. Show confidence in your children
  14. Don’t be angry with your children if you are going through a divorce or if your husband left you
  15. Don’t expect teenagers to be like someone else. Let your teens be themselves
  16. Accept constructive criticism from your children
  17. Avoid using of cruse words
  18. Do not emotionally scare your children
  19. Build a great relationship with your teenagers
  20. Encourage them often instead of calling them bad names
  21. Communicate with respect to your teens
  22. Eat dinner together and attend religious service with your children
  23. Give your teenagers help when needed
  24. Don’t’ always think your teenagers are doing something wrong
  25. Know where your teens  are on the weekend and who they hangout with

Mothers, you have tremendous influential power over your children. I encourage all moms to build a dynamic and un-destructible relationship with their teenagers. Children are an extension of you and sometimes you can see you in them. It’s fantastic to understand that regardless of the negative circumstances you face in life, you have a big heart to deal with it. Time will always heal a broken relationship but it takes a lot of forgiveness. Please listen and understand your teenagers. I hope God will give you the strength and the desire to maintain, improve and endure your relationship with your teenager, persevere.

Written by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr.

 © 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.         All Rights Reserved

Forgive

This updated post focuses on how important it is for you to forgive those that hurt you to the core of your heart.  When you forgive, it will help you to maintain your Faith. It will give you strength to overcome Obstacles. It gives you the ability to Repent when you are wrong. It guides you closer to God and it will prevent an Infection of hatred from flourishing in your life.  When you forgive, you will also have Victory over your own life without others influencing you in a negative manner. It will keep you from giving in to Evil because of the pain you suffered from someone.

F.O.R.G.I.V.E (Faith, Obstacles, Repent, God, Infection, Victory, Evil)

Joseph’s rejection and forgiveness (Genesis 37:1-11, 50:15-20)

Solomon’s Prayer (1 Kings 8:46-50)

Jesus’ commands (Matthew 6:14-15, Mark 11:25-26, Luke 17:3-4, Ephesians 4:26-27)

Points to Ponder

  1. You must let go of the bitterness you have toward those who have hurt you (Genesis 50:15-17).
  2. Do not hold grudges against those that are jealous of you but forgive them and you will have joy in your life (Genesis 50:18-20).
  3. You must forgive people who sin against you just like you expect God to forgive you (1 King 8:50).
  4. If you don’t forgive people who violated your trust, God will not forgive you (Matthew 6:14-15, Mark 11:25-26).
  5. It is your responsibility as a Christian to forgive people regardless of the number of times they have hurt you (Luke 17:3-4).

Something to Consider

Is there someone in your life that has hurt you to the core of your heart? Your answer is probably yes! You are so angry with them because you don’t understand why someone who claims to love you would hurt you so badly. You might blame yourself or wonder what you did to deserve a broken-heart.

Life is very complex and challenging. However, we all fall short of the glory of God because of our sinful nature. It’s sin that caused an individual to hurt you. Just like it was sin that caused Jesus to suffer and die on the cross for you. He also died for the person that broke your heart and violated your trust. God holds each of us accountable for our own sins.

God  gives you a simple process for healing your broken heart. He wants you to rely on Christ as the source of your strength. Your healing process will begin when you forgive the person or persons that hurt your heart. It will not be easy but when you let go you will find wonderful peace in your life. When you forgive, you are no longer in bondage but free. Enjoy your freedom, starting today, as you forgive those who have hurt you. Remember! You can’t rely on others to heal your broken heart only God can.

Written by Mr. Wisdom

Audio File on Forgive

(c) 2009 EnviCare Cosnulting, Inc.

Parent Acknowledges She Never Wanted to Control Her Attitude

This post is about Shirley, a parent, who never wanted to control her attitude.  Shirley’s attitude negatively impacted her relationship with her children.

Shirley’s Testimonial

“The life skills workshop impacted my life because it helped me to learn how to control my attitude and temper. Before, I never liked to control my attitude.  Before learning to control my attitude, I would be frustrated with everything!  Now I don’t feel that way.  I am able to bask in the great feeling I have when I control my attitude. It makes me feel better. I enjoyed reading “Behind the Eyes of Juvenile Delinquents” as it had stories to which I could relate. The book helped me to deal with some situations I previously didn’t know how to handle. I appreciate having taken the life skills workshop as I now understand my life more clearly and I have become a better person and parent.”

Before learning to control my attitude, I would be frustrated with everything but now I don’t feel that way.”

Comments

Shirley is just one of thousands of parents struggling to control their attitude and temper. You might be one of those parents who have failed to model to your children how to control your attitude and temper.  Like Shirley, you no longer need to be in bondage to your attitude and temper.  Shirley found the keys to controlling her attitude and temper when she admitted she had a problem. Now, Shirley is better equipped to deal with her attitude and broken relationships with her family.  Things will get better because of Shirley’s desire and commitment to build better relationships with her family.

Parents, if you have a problem controlling your attitude and temper, seek help. You will not regret seeking help as you experience the benefits that come from reduced anger and frustration in your life.  You should always strive to do your very best to improve your attitude in order to be filled with joy and peace.  Never let stress, frustration, and anger keep you from loving yourself, your spouse and children. Let your home become filled with laughter and joy.  Joy is very contagious so allow it to infect your family along with teaching the skills needed for each family member to control their attitude and temper.  Parents, you are your children’s greatest hope for success. Parenting is not easy, but when you do it right, your family will experience success from generation to generation.

Believe that one day your offspring will be sitting around the table or campfire reflecting on the love, warmth, compassion, grace, mercy, and listening skills you passed down to them and they in turn to their children.  Parenting children should be fun and exciting during both the good times and the difficult times.  Love and commitment are the driving forces that will help you to control your feelings and emotions in a very positive way.

Parents, we hope these words have inspired you to never let your attitude and temper destroy yourself or your relationship with family.  Trust God to give you the strength you need to endure.  Release your heart, soul and mind to Him and the blessings will come as you patiently wait.

 Written by: Mr. Wisdom

(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.    All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Commit to Having a Fun Weekend

Here’s my challenge for every family in the world. I challenge you to focus on encouraging and up lifting each other with kind words and deeds. Make a commitment to enjoy life on a weekend you choose. Do not use any negative words that might hurt a family member.

It will be a great challenge because you can’t control others but you can control yourself. Here are some suggestions:

1. Send your family members a nice text message.
2. E-mail them an encouraging word.
3. Leave a note under their pillow or in their shoe or in the car or you can do all of them.
4. Take time to go for a walk.
5. Take a car ride to where you have not boldly gone before.

Whatever you choose to do, be creative, but plan to have an absolutely fun time. When you have completed the weekend, talk about your experience with each other. I hope you will experience an event that will be remembered for a life time.

Written by Mr. Wisdom

(c) EnviCare Consulting, Inc. Alrights Reserved Worldwide

I Immediately Blew it As a Mother and Wife!

Angel’s Testimonial is about missing an opportunity to listen to God during a difficult situation in the home.

Angel’s Testimonial:

“Lord, may the beauty of your Spirit be so evident in me that I will be a godly role model. Give me the communication, teaching, and nurturing skills that I must have. Make me the parent you want me to be and teach me how to pray and truly intercede for the life of this child.”

This was the first thing that I read this morning as I poured coffee and turned my daily “Power of A Praying Parent” flip chart conveniently located next to the lava maker.  I immediately blew it. I was impatient, short-tempered, and irritated with my daughter as she was getting ready for school.  It was her Valentine’s Day party, no less, and what a shining example of love I was showing! Surely God would understand that I was grumpy, tired, and clearly not in the mood to listen to Him this early in the morning.

“I am a very slow learner. God was speaking so clearly this morning and I almost missed it.”

So, God tried again. One of my dear Facebook friends posted this quote as her status….“Love is always bestowed as a gift―freely, willingly, and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love.”

Once again, I decided that I really did not want to hear that! Especially since the person who penned that quote did not live with my husband.  Two for two already and the day had just begun.  But God was not willing to give up on me entirely; He persisted in trying to reach me. My usual morning radio show focused on Ephesians 5, specifically verses 22 and 23. “Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The Husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.” Grrr…really? I need to love and submit even when I am not feeling supported and cherished?

Another dear Facebook friend posted that her husband was unable to make it home from a business trip as expected.  She was clearly disappointed. My husband works all day about 15 feet away from me, and I am complaining about it?

I am a very slow learner. God was speaking to me so clearly this morning and I almost missed it. Through friends, radio, flip charts, my family, and His persistence, I was finally able to realize His plans. I am so grateful for His grace and mercy on me. I am so imperfect and unworthy of it, but He still pours grace and mercy upon me because He loves me. I am in awe of that…He loves me!

To my daughter, Debbie, I apologized to her on the way to school.  She accepted, but I was feeling somewhat defeated and guilty, which maybe was God’s way of bringing me to my knees.  To my husband, James, I simply was quiet instead of pressing him to talk to me.  We had no real issue that day, simply the stresses of life, which can make or break a day. I just stepped back, and James responded accordingly by being loving. 

Look around today and open your eyes to what God is saying to you. He speaks to us all day, every day but we miss most of it due to the clutter in our minds and hearts.  Don’t miss it today.

Comments

How many of you can identify with Angel’s story?  Every mother, at some point, has blown an opportunity to properly relate to their daughter or husband.  Angel’s story is very powerful because she recognized a missed opportunity to respond to her family in God’s way. Because of her situations, Angel didn’t wish to hear those three, small still voices that came from God through others.

However, Angel reflected on the information received through the devotion as well as information from Facebook and the radio show.  It is remarkable that Angel concluded that God was clearly speaking to her that morning on three separate occasions.  It took God three times to get Angel’s attention, but the moral of the story is that she finally listened. God always patiently waits on us to hear His voice. He is a God of second chances or many chances.

Mothers, listen to those small, still voices God sends your way.  God is capable of using anything to get your attention when you are making wrong choices! Never let being impatient, short-temper, or irritated hinder your relationship with your daughter, son or husband.  It’s never easy, but you have the will power through God to deal with your situations.

Do everything you can to build a strong relationship with your daughter, son and husband.  Life is short on this earth, but remember that we have an eternity with God!  When your daughter becomes a teenager, it’s absolutely critical that you have established a fantastic relationship with her.  Model the behavior you want your daughter or son to pass on to their family when those wedding bells ring and grandchildren come.

Make sure you apologize to your son, daughter or husband when you have treated them wrongly.  Most times, they will be understanding because of their love for you.  Remember, you are not alone in your struggles.  Mothers are the heart of the family’s foundation.  Mothers, you deserve all the praises in the world for the many sacrifices you make to develop a great family!!

It’s fitting to end this article with Angel’s quote. “Look around you today and open your eyes to what God is saying to you.  He speaks to us all day, every day but we miss most of it due to the clutter in our minds and hearts. Don’t miss it today”

Recommended Article to read: How to Build  RELATIONSHIP with Your Child

Written by Mr. Wisdom

(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.