It’s amazing how often people get angry because of negative situations that touch their feelings the wrong way. During a workshop, parents and youth workers discussed the reasons teenagers become angry. Their responses are listed below.
Why do teenagers get angry?
- Lack of attention
- Lack of support to help encourage the teenager to improve or better self
- Lack of positive influences in their lives
- Feeling their parents don’t understand or trust them
- Being grounded for making wrong choices
- Being disciplined through use of a time out from their friends or school functions, through losing the privilege to use their games or phone, or loss of allowance
- Being told no, what to do, or not being able to have their own way
- Being told no they can’t have some desired material item
- Jealous of another person’s material possessions
- Having a set curfew or not being allowed to hang-out with their friends late at night
- Disliking a subject in school
- A stubbornness bent in the teenager
I’d like to share a story about Brianna. Brianna is very smart and intelligent but struggles with anger issues. Brianna has anger over her parent’s divorce that turned her life upside down. Brianna loves her father but gets angry because he doesn’t return love in the manner she would like. Her father buys her many gifts and while Brianna admits she enjoys receiving the gifts, what she really wants with her father is a relationship based on affirmation and encouragement, not things. Her father doesn’t understand what Brianna desires in a relationship. He is trying to show love to Brianna through gifts and things while Brianna is looking for love through affirmation.
At age 14, Brianna became pregnant from a young man also with anger problems. To compound her problems with anger, Brianna struggles with stubbornness making it hard to reach her. Brianna lives with her mother but Brianna’s stubbornness causes them to argue and become angry. Brianna has also started passing her anger on to her two-year-old child.
Brianna has made great progress. An anger management class has helped Brianna to better control her anger and to learn not to get angry when a negative situation touches her feelings the wrong way. However, she still struggles, as the hurts in her heart from some of the negative situations are not completely healed. Her father is trying to do better but finds it’s difficult due to the issues he has in his life. Brianna’s mother is learning to listen to Brianna. This has helped to build a better relationship with Brianna.
Words of encouragement from family and friends have helped Brianna to deal with some of her issues. Many of the issues identified with anger during the workshop have impacted Brianna’s life. It’s important her parents, even though they are divorced, strive to understand Brianna and guide her back onto the right path. Brianna has a great heart and with the help of family and friends and a continued desire to change, it’s only a matter of time before she becomes a successful woman and parent.
Parents, please take the time to understand and listen to your children. They need you to be patient and understanding as you train them to become successful adults. You are the best intervention tool in the world for your children. Remember, your children will face challenges during their lifetime. They need you to equip them with the tools to express themselves and to solve life’s problems.
Written by Mr. Wisdom
© 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc. All Rightes Reserved Worldwide