Tag Archives: Anger

Mistakes Parents Made with Their Children through Their Adolescence Years

Mistakes Parents Made with Their Children through Their Adolescence Years

Parents, have you ever made mistakes with your children and wished you had handled the situations differently? I personally don’t know of a single parent that hasn’t made mistakes with their children.  I have counseled parents that deliberately hurt their children because of their own negative experiences during childhood. One thing I do know is that you can’t take back the mistakes but you can learn from them and make better choices in the future.  I encourage mothers and fathers to avoid making mistakes that will damage your children emotionally for the rest of their lives. The core foundations of families in society are broken such as in the development of the emotional, educational, physical and spiritual needs of the children.

During a life skills workshop, I had a fantastic dialog with mothers and fathers relative the mistakes they made with their children. I ask the parents what mistakes you made raising your children. I hope you enjoy reading their responses listed below.

What mistakes have you made raising your children?

Mary’s Mistakes

“I did not listen enough when they were trying to tell me something and there was not sufficient communication with my children. I yelled back at them when they were yelling at me and I did not follow through with discipline. I said many negative things in arguments we had. I did not give my youngsters enough attention when they needed it most. I did not praise them enough on their accomplishments. I put some of my own needs before theirs. I said negative things about their father a few times to the children, and I did n0t set boundaries. I did not build a great family relationship. I did not keep them in sports so they were not out in the streets which would have stopped them from getting into trouble. There was not enough trust and love toward my children.”

Val’s Mistakes

“I let my teenage son always get what he wants. I would bribe him with money. I let him miss school when he wanted to. I never really sat down and talked to my son. I never gave him a chance to let me know how he felt. I used to choose my friends and partying over my son. I would put my girlfriend before him”

Sally’s Mistakes

“I did not give my youngsters rules as they got older. I yelled first and had guilt afterward. I tried to be their friend instead of their parent. I gave in often after I punished in quilt. I yelled a lot to get my point across then I just forgot about the situation.”

Susana’s Mistakes

“As a single parent, I gave and gave instead of them earning or working for things. I feel things would have been better if I had set more boundaries. As a single parent, I had so many grounds to cover as a mom and dad. I was their mother and father. They are older now and not really respecting my struggles and responsibility as a concerned mother. I can’t hold their hands and walk them through life, and they have to do their part; such as school, getting a job, and move out on their own, and live a life of love.”

Rosesetta’s Mistakes

“I was not there all the time for my children. I did not listen to them more about their feelings. I didn’t show them the right and the wrong way. I should have been more responsible. I said the wrong thing too much and I did not do enough discipline with my children.”

Angelica’s Mistakes

“Some mistakes I made were not listening and I sometimes say things off the handle instead of listening. I sometimes say things out of anger which sometimes hurt as bad as being shot. I spoiled my kids to the point that my daughter thinks every pair of Jordan’s shoes that come out she should get them. I think I let my son get away with too much which makes my daughter think it is okay to do. When I put my kids on punishment they should stick to it. But I let them off punishment early which made the youngsters think mom is mad today but I can leave tomorrow. I talked bad things about the kids’ father when frustrated and the kids heard it. Sometimes, I lose my temper and just acted in a way my kids should not see. So what I am saying is that what I do is a prime example of what my kids do. But I will never give up and will change with the help of God.”

Brandon’s Mistakes

“I have been distance, selfish and wrapped up in my own personal problems”

“I have not paid sufficient attention to them and taken their concerns seriously. I have been distance, selfish and wrapped up in my own personal problems. I have not shown enough love to my children nor told them enough. I forgot promises made and did not follow through with the obligations. I have not spent enough time with them nor been involved with their lives. I fought with their mother over unimportant things. I have not financially supportive my children enough. I have pushed them for the bad things but I have not’ praised them enough for the good things my children do.”

Mark’s Mistakes

“I gave my children too much and I let them do things after we said no. I spoiled my children and yelled at them too much. I got angry at some of the silly things. Not talking to grandparents about what we do and do not want our children to have. Not listening to spouse when making decisions because of different points of view. Not being aware of who my children are socializing with. Not discussing situation with my spouse before either one sets punishment and spouse not being on the same page.”

You have read about the mistakes parents made with their children. I am hopeful you will seriously look at the dynamics of your family. Perhaps there are some changes you need to make in your household with your children. Here are 20 steps parents can use to avoid making damaging mistakes with your youngsters.

  1. Spend time with your children
  2. Stop what you are doing and listen to your children when they are trying to tell you something
  3. Follow through when disciplining your youngsters
  4. Praise your children sufficiently on their accomplishments
  5. Avoid saying negative things to your children during conflict
  6. Don’t’ talk negatively to your children about mother or father
  7. Model the right way you want your children to live
  8. Give your children rules and boundaries
  9. Know who your children spent time with
  10. Avoid losing your temper in front of your children
  11. Don’t forget the promises you made to your youngsters
  12. Take your children concerns seriously
  13. Get your children counseling if needed
  14. Follow through on your obligation for your adolescences
  15. Work together with spouse when disciplining your children
  16. Avoid saying the wrong things too much
  17. Support the family financially
  18. Inform grandparents the thing you prefer them not to give to your children
  19. Avoid spoiling your children too much
  20. Do not be your children friend but instead be the parent

Finally, you can not control your children but you must give them the skills needed to make the right choices when they are not around you. When you make a mistake with your children, please apologize and ask them to forgive you.  You have the power and the ability to invest wisely in your children’ lives.

Written by:  Billy J. Strawter, Sr

© EnviCare Consulting Inc.                          All Rights Reserved

Changes Mothers Need to Make to Improve Relationship with Teenagers

Changes Mothers Need to Make to Improve Relationship with Teenagers

Recently, I wrote an article regarding changes teenagers needed of their father to improve relationship. I thought it would also be interesting to evaluate how teenagers felt about their relationship with their mothers. Mothers are the greatest asset to the family.  I appreciate them greatly because moms bring a wealth of commitment, care and love to the family. Their energy fosters the right kind of family foundation. Every family needs emotional stability in the home. It’s amazing how many mothers multitask for the survival of the family.  Listed below are teenagers’ responses to the following questions:

What changes your mother needs to make to improve her relationship with you?

Sarah’s Responses:

“She needs to get better control of her emotions; I don’t think she realizes how her words affect me emotionally. I also think she needs to understand that we are two different people, which means we won’t always see eye to eye. Even though I am her child, she still has to respect my beliefs and opinions as she expects me to respect her.”

Frank’s Response:

“Mom needs to trust me more and try not to bring up the past all the time”

 Vivian’s Response

“Talk to me instead of yelling

 Doug’s Responses:

“Mom needs to get a job, car and house so that I can live with her part time without going to grandmother. She needs to go tell the court she needs visitation.”

 Tara’s Response:

“I wish mom won’t be so pushy on me. I want mom to be understanding about what I want to do.”

 Quanta’s Responses:

“I wish mother would talk stuff out instead of yelling. Don’t always put her husband over her kids, and I need mom to be there when I need her.

 Raven’s Responses:

“Mom needs to stop yelling so much and believe that sometimes I could be telling the truth. I want mom to stop assuming I am not telling the truth.”

 Cass’s Responses:

“I wish mom would let me enjoy my teen years instead of trying to have me to do and be what she wants me to be. Let me learn from my own mistakes. Mom needs to listen and believe me.”

 Kaila’s Responses:

My mother needs to change a lot. She needs to leave her boyfriend, get clean, and stay clean. Stop lying, stop stealing, take care of self and learn to take constructive criticism. I wish mom would go to rehab and just get better.

 Linda’s Responses:

“I want my mother to trust me more and I want to share anything with my mom. Sometimes, I feel like I can talk to my grandmother about anything before I can talk to my mother. Sometimes I am scared to talk to her so I just leave it to myself. I want to be able to go to places without her thinking I am doing something wrong. All I want is that my mother’s trust me.

 Peter’s Responses:

“My mom needs to work on her temper that she has with me. She needs to stop putting herself first.

 Ashley’s Responses:

“My mother needs to start a trustworthy relationship with me. Mom needs to change her attitude with me. Mom needs to understand I am me and no one else; she needs to improve her attitude and confidence in me and my brother. I never understood why she gets angry towards me after dad left. A lot of things start happening.”

 Haley’s Responses:

“To improve our relationship my mom needs to communicate with me more and try to show me she cares about our relationship. It would also help if she won’t yell as much. If she showed me she could stop yelling, it would help our relationship get better.”

 Sally’s Responses:

“My mom can’t really do anything to improve our relationship. The only thing we need is trust. It’s my fault we don’t have a trusting relationship but only time will improve our relationship.”

 Gray’s Responses:

“I wish my mom would stop going alone with what her boyfriend tells her and stop yelling at me without reason. I need her help once and a while and to have a day where only I and mom can have time together.”

 Tricia’s Responses:

“I wish my mother would stop drinking and stop calling me names. I want mom to be nicer to my little sister and brother, stop sleeping with other guys, stop buying and giving to minors and be a good mom that will listen to me.

 Other Teenagers Responses

  • I wish my mom wouldn’t pick an argument with me
  • Let me do more, trust me and don’t always argue
  • Nothing because we already have a really good relationship
  • My mother needs to be happier. It seems like she’s always mad with me
  • Mom needs to learn to control her anger even if I am the only target in the house
  • Mom needs to stop yelling at me when I’m not doing anything to get yelled at
  • My mother needs to listen to my side of the story instead of jumping to conclusion
  • I wish my mom would ask me nicely to do things instead of automatically get an attitude
  • My mother needs to think things through before she reacts and she needs to stop overreacting to the little things
  • My mom and I have a good relationship and no changes are needed
  • Mother needs to listen more and stop thinking she knows everything all the time
  • I wish mom would get me help when I need it

 Advice for Parents

There are so many factors that contribute to a great or poor relationship with teenagers. The information contained in this article is designed to give parents insight on how some teens feel about their mother. Mothers throughout the world are faced with many challenges raising children and especially when they become adolescents. Every parent should put their children first but don’t forget to stay healthy by exercising, eating healthy foods and spending time to yourself for relaxation. Please utilize trusted family members or friends to help you through the challenges you are facing with your youngsters. Listed below are simple recommendations on building a better relationship with your teenagers:

  1. Spend personal time with your teens
  2. Stop yelling at your children
  3. Listen with your heart
  4. Stop overreacting to teens negative behavior
  5. Think before you overreact
  6. Don’t believe you are always right
  7. Avoid valuing your boyfriend over your children
  8. Stop substance abuse
  9. Minimize getting an attitude and being angry
  10. Let the adolescents know you love them unconditionally
  11. Allow your youngsters to build trust
  12. Allow them to make some mistakes and help the teenagers work through the mistakes
  13. Show confidence in your children
  14. Don’t be angry with your children if you are going through a divorce or if your husband left you
  15. Don’t expect teenagers to be like someone else. Let your teens be themselves
  16. Accept constructive criticism from your children
  17. Avoid using of cruse words
  18. Do not emotionally scare your children
  19. Build a great relationship with your teenagers
  20. Encourage them often instead of calling them bad names
  21. Communicate with respect to your teens
  22. Eat dinner together and attend religious service with your children
  23. Give your teenagers help when needed
  24. Don’t’ always think your teenagers are doing something wrong
  25. Know where your teens  are on the weekend and who they hangout with

Mothers, you have tremendous influential power over your children. I encourage all moms to build a dynamic and un-destructible relationship with their teenagers. Children are an extension of you and sometimes you can see you in them. It’s fantastic to understand that regardless of the negative circumstances you face in life, you have a big heart to deal with it. Time will always heal a broken relationship but it takes a lot of forgiveness. Please listen and understand your teenagers. I hope God will give you the strength and the desire to maintain, improve and endure your relationship with your teenager, persevere.

Written by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr.

 © 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.         All Rights Reserved

Teenagers Journey in Anger Management and Critical Thinking Classes

Teenagers Journey in Anger Management and Critical Thinking Classes

As parents, we sometimes fail to recognize the complexity of adolescences lives. Every day many of our youngsters deal with issues we didn’t face as teenagers.  For example, we weren’t apprehensive about our friends posting private information on social media, bullying and epidemic of divorce in society, and traveling to different parents’ homes as result of the divorce. They are subject to different rules which cause conflict within their hearts. The lack of stability in the family is destroying many teens and they are becoming very angry. Some are becoming more disrespectful to adults and their parents. All these things impact the quality of parents, mothers, and leaders that will guide us in the future.

Parents can’t protect their children always so it our parental responsibility to teach the adolescences the skills needed to survive the confusion of life. We can guide teens by preparing  them to control their feelings and emotions when faced with conflicts. Listed below are teen’s comments regarding two classes they attended called Anger Management and Critical Thinking. The teens learned first how to control their anger and then how to apply critical thinking from stories written by teenagers and adults.

Roseland’s Comments:

“Throughout my journey in the anger management and critical thinking class it helped me to realize that there is more to life. It helped me to realize that I’m very close-minded. If I had these skills before I got in a bad situation, the outcome would have been completely different because it wouldn’t have happen.  As much as I hated I got caught, I recognized God had a better plan. He gave me an opportunity meet an amazing teacher. These classes were very beneficial for me. I am sad that my journey in these classes has come to an in. I am sad but hopeful because I know I got something out of the classes that can never be taken away from me. I do believe that everything happens for a reason and my reason was to be planted in the anger management and critical thinking classes.”

Vera’s Comments

“The anger management and critical thinking classes impacted my life so much. I learned how to control my attitude (feelings and emotions) and temper (revenge and anger).  I would fight, yell, scream, and do things that were very disrespectful. Now I know to communicate my feeling with respect and not get out of hand by yelling and fighting.  Being in the classes for eight weeks, it taught me to do the right thing.  In the future, I know when I am in a situation I can resolve the conflict without fighting or yelling. I have benefited so much from being in the classes and I am glad I took them.”

Dale’s Comments:

“Over the past eight week, I have learned a lot of good things that I can use later in life or when I get into a tough situation or when I need to control my attitude and temper. I learned that when I am mad, it’s best to think about what I’m going to do before I do it. If I don’t, it will have a hug negative impact on my present and future. Therefore, when control my attitude and temper it will have a positive impact on my life. I will be able to talk through a situation without arguing and adding fuel to the situation.  I learned that what you put in your piggy bank that’s what you will get out.  The piggy bank represents my brain. This means if you like arguing or fighting that is what you will do every most times. If you resolve conflict respectfully, it well becomes a habit. Therefore, I learned to be respectful and now I am being more responsible which leads to positive outcomes.”

 

 

 

 

Lovelene’s comments:

“Anger management and critical thinking classes taught me how to stay in control of my temper, and attitude. I get mad quickly but I don’t talk it out with anyone then it lowers my self-esteem. I learned not to let my temper control me. For example, I take time out before I react to a negative situation. I am working harder on getting my education. I like critical thinking better because it had examples of problems teenagers go through. It makes you think if I was in that person place what would I do to be honest and make right choices. I learned about the importance of a relationship relating to love, honesty, and trust as it relates to my parents. I am grateful that I had an opportunity to be involved with the anger management and critical thinking classes. It makes teens realize that their mistakes can lead to bad situation and without making teenagers feel bad.”

Kaleen’s Comments:

“The anger management and critical thinking classes changed my life in many ways. I appreciated the help to keep from having sticky fingers. I am thankful to receive another chance in life because I probably would have gone to a juvenile detention facility or someplace bad.  It was nice being in the classes because I learned how to better control my attitude and temper. I am talking more nicely and now walk away from others whose doing wrong. I am so thankful for a second chance and I will do better with my life.”

Comments

The common things that benefited the teenagers as result of attending an anger management and critical thinking classes are listed below:

  1. Improved their self-esteem
  2. Started  to think  more positive of themselves and others
  3. Became more responsible which lead to positive outcomes
  4. Started to speak kindhearted to people
  5. Appreciated being given a second chance
  6. Learned to control their attitude and temper
  7. Valued being taught how to control their anger
  8. Built better relationship with family and peers
  9. Communicated better with their parents and others
  10. Learned it was okay to attend anger management and critical thinking classes
  11. Decided education was very important for their future.
  12. Applied more positive thinking

The teenagers that attended the anger management and critical thinking classes had no idea how their lives would be influenced. The teenagers weren’t interested and the teens were afraid of attending the classes. They didn’t want to be ridiculed doing the classes nor disrespected. However, many of the youngsters found comfort because they knew the classes were for their best interest. They felt the teach had a caring and compassionate heart for them.

Advice for Youngsters

Teens, if you are experiencing anger problems, don’t hesitate to attend classes that will empower you to control your attitude and temper. Persevere to avoid investing in your heart things that will negatively affect your character and relationship with others. Please improve your life skills which will aid you when conflicts occur. It’s healthier to be prepared before you are confronted with difficult situations. You are absolutely important to the success of society, and there is high expectation of  teens to mature and to be successful responsible adults.  In the future, you possibly will become  fathers or mothers or leaders and your life skills will be very critically important.

We need you to lead our country with a caring and compassionate heart  for all of God’s creation. You were not borne just to serve yourself but to serve others. The benefits to your self-sacrificing services are blessings and strength to overcome obstacles you’ll face the rest of your life. We hope  strength, peace and  joy will travel with you to end of your life. Never forget your journey is different from other teenagers because you are uniquely created.  You should be you and not someone else. You must always desire to manager your anger by applying critical thinking when faced with complex conflicts.

Written: Billy J. Strawter, Sr

© EnviCare Consulting, Inc                 all Rights Reserved

Strategies Parents Can Use to Control Attitude and Temper

Listed below are simple strategies parents can use to control their feelings and emotions when faced with major obstacles.  If you are facing problems in a relationship; such as the workplace or with your children, these simple strategies will work.  Parents, you face many challenges every day whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom or dad.

Parents, it is very important to understand the magnitude of the daily challenges you face. If you deal with them improperly, you can damage your relationship with your teenager and younger children as well as with your spouse if married. When you are out of control, undesirable negative consequences may occur.  Life is never simple but the more resources you have in your arsenal to combat difficult issues during conflicts, you will become more successful.

Listed below are potential negative consequences due to uncontrolled attitude and temper.

Negative Consequences of Uncontrolled Attitude and Temper

  • Closed mindedness
  • Create insecurity Reduced creativity, innovation & productivity
  • Fosters Broken relationships
  • Lead to physical sickness
  • Creates uncontrolled depression and stress
  • Use of drugs, tobacco and alcohol
  • Isolate self from peers
  • Perform just enough to complete the task
  • Abandon responsibility
  • Poor eating habits
  • Foster Low self-esteem
  • Lead to potential divorce
  • Negative impact on family and others
  • Lead to potential incarceration
  • loss of credibility
  • Leads to negative impact on character
  • Causes an individual to potential run away from responsibilities

Strategies to Control Attitude and Temper

  • Motivate self and others to move in the same direction
  • Accept changes
  • Accept constructive criticism
  • Avoid being jealous of peers
  • Avoid overreacting to a negative situation
  • Take time out before you react to a negative situation
  • Apologize when you are wrong or hurt a person’s feelings and or emotions
  • Avoid over use of your power
  • Believe in self and others
  • Communicate precisely and consistently with each other
  • Communicate your feelings with respect
  • Take time to relax and exercise
  • Eat a balanced and nutrient meal
  • Encourage each other to be innovative and creative
  • Perform regardless of the obstacles you face
  • Forgive those who disappoint or hurt you, it limits the pain
  • Take time to relax and exercise
  • Network when necessary to accomplish success
  • Resolve conflict quickly without submitting to Mr. and Mrs. Attitude and Temper

I am convinced that the greatest challenge we face as parents and individuals is the task of controlling our attitude and temper.  I hope with a sincere heart that those of you struggling with controlling your attitude and temper that you seek the help you need. This is necessary to avoid destroying relationships you have with your family and others.  You must believe that you can control Mr. and Mrs. Attitude and Temper which is you.  I pray you will have the commitment and strength to apply the above simple strategies to control attitude and temper.

Written: Mr. Wisdom

(c) 2011 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.                              All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Teenagers Share How An Anger Management Class Impacted Their Lives

 I enjoy listening to teenagers. They have a lot to offer to society if we would only understand and listen to them.  They are valuable to society and we shouldn’t ignore their great potential. Recently, I worked with some teenagers in my Keys to Success Program (Anger Management Class). The program is designed to give teenagers strategies and encouragements to control their feelings and emotions when Mr and Mrs. Attitude and Temper (Mr and Mrs. A.T.) take control of them. They are taught that they are Mr. and Mrs. A.T. They are informed of their responsibility to control them because they can’t defeat them. I am hopeful that these two young men will be very successful in life. The keys to success must also include support from the family.

It is absolutely fascinating to see changes in a teenager’s life when they learn to control their feeling and emotions.  They have a since of accomplishment and value in their lives when they are in control. It also helps teenagers to build their self-esteem. When a teenager is equipped to control their emotions and feelings positively, they will overcome any obstacles in life.  Listed below are comments shared by Toney and Logan.

Toney’s Story

“When I first came to the anger management class, I had my mind made up that I wouldn’t learn anything. I felt the class would be a waste of time. As the day went by, we stated to talk more about life and about what was going on in our lives, then the class became interesting. I had an opportunity to share why I get mad. I learned about what I needed to work on to control my attitude and temper. Being in the small group environment, helped made it easy to open up and share the real things that were going on in my life. I learned how attitude causes pain and frustration and how temper causes angry and destruction toward self and others.  That really helped me out the most. There were times when I would get mad for no reason. I never knew the consequences of being angry or anything. I learned that everything is not going to be perfect. When you react to things in a disrespectful way, you are going to receive what you invested in your life. I have learned how to respect others.”

Logan’s Story

“The anger management class helped me see that getting angry and frustrated over needless situations and arguments are pointless. You can control your attitude and temper with self-control and you must have the ability to want to succeed. Without allowing attitude and temper to control you, life can be a lot more stress free and enjoyable. If you are happy with yourself and the people you surround yourself with, it makes life happier, and less frustrating. Uncontrolled Attitude and temper are attributes you don’t need in your life, because they can make someone into somebody they don’t want to become.

The anger management has made me see clear in areas that I wasn’t fond of before and has guided me into building better character and becoming a better person.

The anger management class helped me to deal with my attitude and temper which is helping me in everyday life. I also learned the importance of being successful and maintaining that success. You must put effort into being successful. Success is what drives me to become more determined toward living a successful life. The anger management has made me see clear in areas that I wasn’t fond of before and has guided me into building better character and becoming a better person.”

Written by: Mr. Wisdom

(c) 2011 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.                All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Teenager Was Angry Towards Everyone Around Her

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Colleen’s Testimonial

My name is Colleen. I was arrested for shoplifting. I was angry when I got arrested but for some reason it was towards everyone around me and not myself. I was stubborn and very hard headed. I had a bad attitude and my temper was out of control. At first, when I was told I had to attend a class for shoplifting, I thought it was going to be a boring class with bad kids. It turned out the class was amazing and the kids weren’t bad at all.  Keys to Success is the class and I learned many life-changing lessons by attending it.

“I would just walk away any time things weren’t going my way, or when I was getting angry”

I learned many things that I will never forget. I agree when it is said people don’t change overnight.  But after one month in the Keys class, I did change in many ways and all were for the better. I learned to control my attitude and temper and to stop and think before reacting to a problem. I never thought in a million years I would change from a stubborn teenager to a more mature young woman. This class has matured me in many ways. I have always had problems trusting and opening up to people. I would like to thank my instructor for giving me the strength to do just that.

The main thing I learned from the Keys class was to communicate. I use to just walk away any time things weren’t going my way, or when I was getting angry. However, now I feel I can communicate my feelings with respect. I recommend that any young teen in my situation that needs an eye opener take the Keys to Success class. I know it will help you, just as it has me.

Thank you again, you have truly changed my way of thinking and from now on I will make wiser investments in my piggy bank.

Teen Advice

Colleen’s is a typical teenager that sometimes struggles with making right choices when things are difficult at home. She chose to allow stubbornness, attitude, temper and anger to control her when things became difficult at home.  Colleen has a wonderful heart but needed someone to inspire and encourage her to move beyond her past. She has a new opportunity to create a positive story on her new journey in life. It won’t be easy but she has already won the battle because she has acknowledged the error of her ways.

Teens, as you read this post, you too can overcome stubbornness, attitude, temper or anger if you obtain the help you need. Life is short and you must do your very best to not allow these four things to control your life in a negative manner. Learn to communicate your feelings with respect as Colleen did with her parents. Learn to agree to disagree without destroying relationships with your parents, siblings or friends. Remember even if you have made wrong choices as a result of your stubbornness, attitude, temper or anger, you can choose a new direction for your life and rebuild broken relationships.

Written by Mr. Wisdom

(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting Inc.  All Rights Reserved World Wide

Reasons Some Teenagers Become Angry

It’s amazing how often people get angry because of negative situations that touch their feelings the wrong way.  During a workshop, parents and youth workers discussed the reasons teenagers become angry.  Their responses are listed below.

Why do teenagers get angry? 

  1. Lack of attention
  2. Lack of support to help encourage the teenager to improve or better self
  3. Lack of positive influences in their lives
  4. Feeling their parents don’t understand or trust them
  5. Being grounded for making wrong choices
  6. Being disciplined through use of a time out from their friends or school functions, through losing the privilege to use their games or phone, or loss of allowance
  7. Being told no, what to do, or not being able to have their own way
  8. Being told no they can’t have some desired material item
  9. Jealous of another person’s material possessions
  10. Having a set curfew or not being allowed to hang-out with their friends late at night
  11. Disliking a subject in school
  12. A stubbornness bent in the teenager

I’d like to share a story about Brianna.  Brianna is very smart and intelligent but struggles with anger issues.  Brianna has anger over her parent’s divorce that turned her life upside down.   Brianna loves her father but gets angry because he doesn’t return love in the manner she would like.  Her father buys her many gifts and while Brianna admits she enjoys receiving the gifts, what she really wants with her father is a relationship based on affirmation and encouragement, not things.  Her father doesn’t understand what Brianna desires in a relationship.  He is trying to show love to Brianna through gifts and things while Brianna is looking for love through affirmation.

At age 14, Brianna became pregnant from a young man also with anger problems.  To compound her problems with anger, Brianna struggles with stubbornness making it hard to reach her. Brianna lives with her mother but Brianna’s stubbornness causes them to argue and become angry.  Brianna has also started passing her anger on to her two-year-old child.  

Brianna has made great progress. An anger management class has helped Brianna to better control her anger and to learn not to get angry when a negative situation touches her feelings the wrong way.  However, she still struggles, as the hurts in her heart from some of the negative situations are not completely healed.  Her father is trying to do better but finds it’s difficult due to the issues he has in his life.  Brianna’s mother is learning to listen to Brianna.  This has helped to build a better relationship with Brianna.

Words of encouragement from family and friends have helped Brianna to deal with some of her issues. Many of the issues identified with anger during the workshop have impacted Brianna’s life.  It’s important  her parents, even though they are divorced, strive to understand Brianna and guide her back onto the right path. Brianna has a great heart and with the help of family and friends and a continued desire to change, it’s only a matter of time before she becomes a successful woman and parent.

Parents, please take the time to understand and listen to your children. They need you to be patient and understanding as you train them to become successful adults. You are the best intervention tool in the world for your children.  Remember, your children will face challenges during their lifetime. They need you to equip them with the tools to express themselves and to solve life’s problems.

Written by Mr. Wisdom

© 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.  All Rightes  Reserved Worldwide

Men and Women Comment on Anger Management Workshop

In this post, you will learn valuable information from comments adults wrote after attending an anger management workshop. Listed below are their responses to two basic questions:

  1. What did you learn from the anger management workshop?
  2. What will you do differently as a result of attending the anger management workshop?

Hopefully, you will use this information to reflect on changes you might need to make in your own life relating to anger and lack of self-control.

Question 1: What did you learn from the anger management workshop?

  • How to control my anger and temper. How to turn the other cheek.
  • My attitude and my temper must be in control at all times in order to change my surroundings and myself.
  • How to be yourself and have control.
  • Several ways to control anger and temper.
  • I learned it’s about balancing the positive and negative.
  • How to deal with situations when people get on your nerves. Don’t get mad and handle it very professionally.
  • To be a better person and how to respond to different situations positively.
  • How to deal with stress.
  • Controlling my attitude and temper. Difference in effect of attitude and temper. Strategies to work towards improving our attitude/temper.
  • Having a positive attitude and good outlook.
  • I learned that I don’t give people the appropriate amount of credit sometimes.
  • Strategies to help to develop success and how to overcome obstacles as we live.
  • To control my anger. We can’t please everyone.
  • How to control my anger so that I can be productive.
  • I learned that everyone is different and no two people think the same. By controlling our attitude and temper, accepting those who are different is easier.
  • A little about myself and that my anger is coming from lack of self-control.
  • I learned some great ideas for life skills. I also learned to make the right choice, use the right words and that my actions speak louder than words.
  • How to overcome obstacles in a positive way. I also was reminded that I have to believe in myself.
  • Learned about life skills that I knew and will continue to build upon them in my life.

What will you do differently as a result of attending the anger management workshop?

  • Take more time for myself. Think before I speak. Use my piggy bank (brain) wisely.
  • I will continue to have self-control and be more sensitive to others.
  • Try things out and be heard.
  • Try to forgive others that hurt me and my feelings.
  • Think before responding to a bad situation and not to be hurtful with words.
  • Stand my ground but not angrily. Keep a cool head.
  • Control my attitude and temper.
  • Be the bigger person and apologize.
  • Work towards improving my negative attitude which will improve my personality.
  • Have a better attitude.
  • Continue working on improving my teamwork skills.
  • Don’t let other’s burdens weigh me down. Keep moving forward.
  • Control myself and not be too bossy.
  • This has helped me to continue my path in forgiving and learning that we are all different. I would not change a thing.
  • I will express myself more so that I can go on with what I need to do with respect
  • More self control and finding why I feel the way I do. Set goals for myself. Store positive things in my piggy bank (brain).
  • I will reevaluate my attitude and actions. I will always think before I speak so that I will choose the right words.
  • I will work on me and as I work on me, try to be the better person. I will also work on letting things go. Look over the handout as a reminder to deposit positively into my piggy bank (brain).

Life is never simple and you will face challenges as long as you live. You have a responsibility to control your attitude and temper without destroying yourself and others. If you are currently experiencing problem with anger, consider attending an anger management workshop. It could improve your relationships with your children, family and friends. Learn to communicate your feelings with respect and you will feel better about yourself.

Written by Mr. Wisdom

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(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.  All Rights Reserved Worldwide

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