Tag Archives: Angry

Parents Are Valuing Life Skills Strategies To Help Raise Their Children

Parents Are Valuing Life Skills Strategies To Help Raise Their Children

Listed below are comments from parents that attended a life skills workshop. We will continue to share with you parents perspectives on the values of attending a life skills workshop. We believe that our articles should contain information that reflects the challenges parents are facing with their children, especially parents with teenagers. 

Shawn’s Testimonial

“As a parent, I will work on listening to my children. I will work on yelling less to not at all. It was encouraging hearing suggestions in the life skills workshop and especially the things we are already doing now with our children. There were several times I questioned if I am parenting correctly. The life skills workshop helped to reiterating what I am doing at home is the correct path as well as room for improvement.

The life skills workshop should be offered to new parents. I thought the workshop was very powerful and helped me look at myself and what I need to work on at home. I believe more in myself.”

Matthew’s Testimonial

“I learned I needed more sensible discussion with my troubled son without some of the anger of past disciplining. I have tried yelling in the past to discipline my children. I have discipline while angry immediately after the incident. The instructor showed me ways to get things out of my child without yelling and being angry but to discipline the correct way. I believe my son will be a much better person after this workshop because my wife and I attend it together. I needed this workshop to take a step back and refocus my energy in a proper and beneficial way towards assisting my family and son.

Christiana’s Testimonial

“I now value the importance of building a relationship with my children including caring and making supper. It’s important that their physical, spiritual, educational and emotional needs are met as well.  I will stop pouring into my child yelling and begin to invest motivating, encouraging, and listening to my children. Instead of trying to rule over them, I will listen and try to get to the root cause of the problem. Sometimes, I walk away and never know what my son is feeling. When I do walk away, it hinders my son from wanting to do better and it makes things worse because now he is angry and won’t talk to me. I do still need to be firm and stand up for what I believe even if it’s not popular. I will share more encouragement, praise, love, time and proper discipline with my son.”

Jim’s Testimonial

“As learned in the parenting class today, it is important to be directly involved with your children in everything they do. By this I mean, you have to influence them from the time they are young and be a positive person in their life. Most of the things we covered are plainly obvious but it is so easy to forget of stray from these positive aspects. I believe that the life skills’ strategies will help me to refocus on these little things that make a difference. It will help me become more of a positive influence moving forward with my children. Instead of invoking negative thoughts, I will forcus on being understanding and caring towards my children.  Negative things can and do happen in life and as a parent, I have position of authority to help guide my children through their issues. I am very glad that I attended the life skills workshop and also that my teenager is involved in the anger management and critical thinking classes.

Article by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr.

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.               All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Changes Mothers Need to Make to Improve Relationship with Teenagers

Changes Mothers Need to Make to Improve Relationship with Teenagers

Recently, I wrote an article regarding changes teenagers needed of their father to improve relationship. I thought it would also be interesting to evaluate how teenagers felt about their relationship with their mothers. Mothers are the greatest asset to the family.  I appreciate them greatly because moms bring a wealth of commitment, care and love to the family. Their energy fosters the right kind of family foundation. Every family needs emotional stability in the home. It’s amazing how many mothers multitask for the survival of the family.  Listed below are teenagers’ responses to the following questions:

What changes your mother needs to make to improve her relationship with you?

Sarah’s Responses:

“She needs to get better control of her emotions; I don’t think she realizes how her words affect me emotionally. I also think she needs to understand that we are two different people, which means we won’t always see eye to eye. Even though I am her child, she still has to respect my beliefs and opinions as she expects me to respect her.”

Frank’s Response:

“Mom needs to trust me more and try not to bring up the past all the time”

 Vivian’s Response

“Talk to me instead of yelling

 Doug’s Responses:

“Mom needs to get a job, car and house so that I can live with her part time without going to grandmother. She needs to go tell the court she needs visitation.”

 Tara’s Response:

“I wish mom won’t be so pushy on me. I want mom to be understanding about what I want to do.”

 Quanta’s Responses:

“I wish mother would talk stuff out instead of yelling. Don’t always put her husband over her kids, and I need mom to be there when I need her.

 Raven’s Responses:

“Mom needs to stop yelling so much and believe that sometimes I could be telling the truth. I want mom to stop assuming I am not telling the truth.”

 Cass’s Responses:

“I wish mom would let me enjoy my teen years instead of trying to have me to do and be what she wants me to be. Let me learn from my own mistakes. Mom needs to listen and believe me.”

 Kaila’s Responses:

My mother needs to change a lot. She needs to leave her boyfriend, get clean, and stay clean. Stop lying, stop stealing, take care of self and learn to take constructive criticism. I wish mom would go to rehab and just get better.

 Linda’s Responses:

“I want my mother to trust me more and I want to share anything with my mom. Sometimes, I feel like I can talk to my grandmother about anything before I can talk to my mother. Sometimes I am scared to talk to her so I just leave it to myself. I want to be able to go to places without her thinking I am doing something wrong. All I want is that my mother’s trust me.

 Peter’s Responses:

“My mom needs to work on her temper that she has with me. She needs to stop putting herself first.

 Ashley’s Responses:

“My mother needs to start a trustworthy relationship with me. Mom needs to change her attitude with me. Mom needs to understand I am me and no one else; she needs to improve her attitude and confidence in me and my brother. I never understood why she gets angry towards me after dad left. A lot of things start happening.”

 Haley’s Responses:

“To improve our relationship my mom needs to communicate with me more and try to show me she cares about our relationship. It would also help if she won’t yell as much. If she showed me she could stop yelling, it would help our relationship get better.”

 Sally’s Responses:

“My mom can’t really do anything to improve our relationship. The only thing we need is trust. It’s my fault we don’t have a trusting relationship but only time will improve our relationship.”

 Gray’s Responses:

“I wish my mom would stop going alone with what her boyfriend tells her and stop yelling at me without reason. I need her help once and a while and to have a day where only I and mom can have time together.”

 Tricia’s Responses:

“I wish my mother would stop drinking and stop calling me names. I want mom to be nicer to my little sister and brother, stop sleeping with other guys, stop buying and giving to minors and be a good mom that will listen to me.

 Other Teenagers Responses

  • I wish my mom wouldn’t pick an argument with me
  • Let me do more, trust me and don’t always argue
  • Nothing because we already have a really good relationship
  • My mother needs to be happier. It seems like she’s always mad with me
  • Mom needs to learn to control her anger even if I am the only target in the house
  • Mom needs to stop yelling at me when I’m not doing anything to get yelled at
  • My mother needs to listen to my side of the story instead of jumping to conclusion
  • I wish my mom would ask me nicely to do things instead of automatically get an attitude
  • My mother needs to think things through before she reacts and she needs to stop overreacting to the little things
  • My mom and I have a good relationship and no changes are needed
  • Mother needs to listen more and stop thinking she knows everything all the time
  • I wish mom would get me help when I need it

 Advice for Parents

There are so many factors that contribute to a great or poor relationship with teenagers. The information contained in this article is designed to give parents insight on how some teens feel about their mother. Mothers throughout the world are faced with many challenges raising children and especially when they become adolescents. Every parent should put their children first but don’t forget to stay healthy by exercising, eating healthy foods and spending time to yourself for relaxation. Please utilize trusted family members or friends to help you through the challenges you are facing with your youngsters. Listed below are simple recommendations on building a better relationship with your teenagers:

  1. Spend personal time with your teens
  2. Stop yelling at your children
  3. Listen with your heart
  4. Stop overreacting to teens negative behavior
  5. Think before you overreact
  6. Don’t believe you are always right
  7. Avoid valuing your boyfriend over your children
  8. Stop substance abuse
  9. Minimize getting an attitude and being angry
  10. Let the adolescents know you love them unconditionally
  11. Allow your youngsters to build trust
  12. Allow them to make some mistakes and help the teenagers work through the mistakes
  13. Show confidence in your children
  14. Don’t be angry with your children if you are going through a divorce or if your husband left you
  15. Don’t expect teenagers to be like someone else. Let your teens be themselves
  16. Accept constructive criticism from your children
  17. Avoid using of cruse words
  18. Do not emotionally scare your children
  19. Build a great relationship with your teenagers
  20. Encourage them often instead of calling them bad names
  21. Communicate with respect to your teens
  22. Eat dinner together and attend religious service with your children
  23. Give your teenagers help when needed
  24. Don’t’ always think your teenagers are doing something wrong
  25. Know where your teens  are on the weekend and who they hangout with

Mothers, you have tremendous influential power over your children. I encourage all moms to build a dynamic and un-destructible relationship with their teenagers. Children are an extension of you and sometimes you can see you in them. It’s fantastic to understand that regardless of the negative circumstances you face in life, you have a big heart to deal with it. Time will always heal a broken relationship but it takes a lot of forgiveness. Please listen and understand your teenagers. I hope God will give you the strength and the desire to maintain, improve and endure your relationship with your teenager, persevere.

Written by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr.

 © 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.         All Rights Reserved

Parents Feel Angry, Betrayed, Disappointed and Hurt When Teenagers Don’t Tell the Truth

Parents Feel  Angry, Betrayed, Disappointed and Hurt When Teenagers Don’t Tell The Truth

Parenting teenagers can be very challenging sometimes as they seek their independence. Sometimes parents wonder did they received the right baby from the hospital because the child is disconnected from the family. It’s amazing as parents observe their children grow up they wonder what will they become as an adult. The greatest hope is for their teenagers to be protected from emotional scares and the desire for the youngsters to be very successful. Suddenly, a great storm arises in the relationship do to an unbelievable choice the child made. The parents didn’t hear about the problem from their teen but were informed by someone else.  It’s an emotional roller coaster for parents when their adolescents fail to tell them the truth.  Listed below is how parents feel when their teens avoid telling the truth when they are in trouble.

How do you feel when your children don’t tell you the truth?

Stacy’s Responses:

  • It depends upon what’s it about and I try to talk to her
  • I want to know the reason for not telling me the truth

Deborah’s Responses:

  • I feel angry, frustrated and disappointed
  • I start yelling and screaming
  • I don’t listen
  • Teenagers don’t trust me

Ted’s Responses:

  • Disappointed because they ate making bad choices
  • Frustrated because I think what did I do wrong
  • Sadden because they are not open to telling me the truth

Albert’s Responses:

  • I feel let down
  • I feel angry and disappointed
  • I haven’t done my job

Kathie Responses:

  • I feel like I haven’t done my job
  • I ask myself where did I go wrong
  • I think back to trust, does my child not trust me

Hillary Responses:

  • I feel my teen have betrayed me
  • They are wrong
  • They don’t trust me
  • I feel I failed them
  • I feel hurt and angry

Paulina’s Responses:

  • I feel very sad that my teen don’t trust me to tell me what happened
  • I feel betrayed and disappointed

Carries’ Responses:

  • I feel sad and hurt because you have taught them right from wrong
  • Disappointed that they can’t talk to us about anything

Lee’s Responses:

  • I am disappointed, lost trust, and angry at my teen
  • I am in disbelief

Julia’s Responses:

  • Betrayed
  • Let down
  • Hurt
  • Disappointed

Marcia’s Responses:

  • Upset
  • Angry
  • Disappointed

Advice for teenagers

Teenagers, I encourage you to understand how untruthfulness hurt your parents’ feelings which creates different emotions. You must do everything within your power to always tell your parents the truth. Don’t hide anything from them but be brave, caring and understanding. They might overreact but their love for you will last forever. You must be patient with your parents as they process why you didn’t tell the truth. Let unconditional love and respect for your parents be the guiding light for you all the days of your life. Listed be are several responses that are common to parents:

  1. They are disappointed in their teenagers lack of truthfulness
  2. They felt betrayed because their teens weren’t willing to tell the truth
  3. They lost trust in their teens because they weren’t honest
  4. They were very angry with their teenagers for not being open
  5. They felt as though they had failed as parents

Teenager, please process your parents’ feelings and emotions. Ponder upon their feelings in your heart, soul and mind. Once again, always apply truth daily in your life. Always remember that parents feel angry, betrayed, disappointed and hurt when teenagers don’t tell the truth.

 

Written By: Billy J. Strawter, Sr

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.               All Rights Reserved

Reasons Some Teenagers Become Angry

It’s amazing how often people get angry because of negative situations that touch their feelings the wrong way.  During a workshop, parents and youth workers discussed the reasons teenagers become angry.  Their responses are listed below.

Why do teenagers get angry? 

  1. Lack of attention
  2. Lack of support to help encourage the teenager to improve or better self
  3. Lack of positive influences in their lives
  4. Feeling their parents don’t understand or trust them
  5. Being grounded for making wrong choices
  6. Being disciplined through use of a time out from their friends or school functions, through losing the privilege to use their games or phone, or loss of allowance
  7. Being told no, what to do, or not being able to have their own way
  8. Being told no they can’t have some desired material item
  9. Jealous of another person’s material possessions
  10. Having a set curfew or not being allowed to hang-out with their friends late at night
  11. Disliking a subject in school
  12. A stubbornness bent in the teenager

I’d like to share a story about Brianna.  Brianna is very smart and intelligent but struggles with anger issues.  Brianna has anger over her parent’s divorce that turned her life upside down.   Brianna loves her father but gets angry because he doesn’t return love in the manner she would like.  Her father buys her many gifts and while Brianna admits she enjoys receiving the gifts, what she really wants with her father is a relationship based on affirmation and encouragement, not things.  Her father doesn’t understand what Brianna desires in a relationship.  He is trying to show love to Brianna through gifts and things while Brianna is looking for love through affirmation.

At age 14, Brianna became pregnant from a young man also with anger problems.  To compound her problems with anger, Brianna struggles with stubbornness making it hard to reach her. Brianna lives with her mother but Brianna’s stubbornness causes them to argue and become angry.  Brianna has also started passing her anger on to her two-year-old child.  

Brianna has made great progress. An anger management class has helped Brianna to better control her anger and to learn not to get angry when a negative situation touches her feelings the wrong way.  However, she still struggles, as the hurts in her heart from some of the negative situations are not completely healed.  Her father is trying to do better but finds it’s difficult due to the issues he has in his life.  Brianna’s mother is learning to listen to Brianna.  This has helped to build a better relationship with Brianna.

Words of encouragement from family and friends have helped Brianna to deal with some of her issues. Many of the issues identified with anger during the workshop have impacted Brianna’s life.  It’s important  her parents, even though they are divorced, strive to understand Brianna and guide her back onto the right path. Brianna has a great heart and with the help of family and friends and a continued desire to change, it’s only a matter of time before she becomes a successful woman and parent.

Parents, please take the time to understand and listen to your children. They need you to be patient and understanding as you train them to become successful adults. You are the best intervention tool in the world for your children.  Remember, your children will face challenges during their lifetime. They need you to equip them with the tools to express themselves and to solve life’s problems.

Written by Mr. Wisdom

© 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.  All Rightes  Reserved Worldwide

What Students Dislike About School In Their Own Words

Listed below are issues that teens are facing in school. The magnitude of the issues they are facing is alarming. Teens are very stressed out in school which hinders their ability to perform. This is a reflection of the challenges that families are facing in society. This makes it more challenging for teachers to teach.

What do you dislike about your school? (In their own words.)

  1. When people talk about me behind my back
  2. When people who make fun of other people
  3.  When people are messing with me
  4. Too many people fighting in school
  5. People hitting others get on my nerve
  6. When people say something about me I didn’t do it
  7. When I must comply with dress code at school
  8. I get angry when people tell someone else something I said and switch the words
  9. I hate that my mom don’t trust met
  10. I hate girls who think they are better than everyone else
  11. When people lie about me
  12. When people talk too much
  13. When people bully others
  14. When people talk a lot but don’t show actions
  15. When people act fake
  16. When people act tough
  17. People being mean to others
  18. When girls think they are cute
  19. The uniforms are ugly
  20. People who think they are better than others
  21. People who change negative for other people
  22. Boys and girls who can’t get over things
  23. Childish people
  24. Teachers who are slow
  25. People who get angry over dumb things
  26. People who judge you when you are dressed a certain way
  27. When people are hypocritical
  28.  When people are your friends and the next minute they are not
  29. People who are childish and interrupting

You hear so much in the news about public school systems failing to prepare students for the next level but you don’t hear very much about parents’ role in preparing their children for school .

Parents, you have the power to teach your child so he/she will be prepared to learn in school and how to deal with life issues. You are better equipped than teachers to give your child the skills to learn and retain information during the early years of his/her life.  You must prepare them before they start to school which help the teachrs to perform their job better.

You must work hard to provide your child with the tools needed to be successful. Why is it important? The list above gives you an idea of the things they will face in school as well in life. Your investment will make a major difference in your child’s life. Get involved with their school and get to know their teachers. Teach your child the basic skills he/she needs such as reading, oral and written communication.

Written by Mr. Wisdom

 

(c) 2010 EnviCare Cosnulting, Inc All Rights Reserved Worldwide

www.envicareinc.com