Here are comments from teenagers that attended the Keys to Success Anger Management Class. It’s always amazing to me how teenagers know what they need to do but often times ignore making the right choices. I haven’t met many teenagers who don’t sincerely regret the wrong choices they have made. It’s our responsibility to forgive them and help to do better in the future.
What did you learn from the Anger Management Class?
- I learned easier ways to handle situations, how to control your attitude and actions and to have a positive attitude.
- When you look at a problem different instead of letting your attitude take over the problem.
- I learned to stay positive and not to get down on myself. Also, I learned that if you control your attitude and temper you can live a lot more stress free and open.
- I learned that attitude and temper can be controlled that a person has to control it for the betterment in their environment.
- Control my attitude and temper on a positive way.
- I learned how to control my attitude and temper that only I can control.
- Say sorry when wrong, think positively and respect adults.
- I learned how to control my attitude and temper and to accept what others see of me and how they think of me.
- Learned how to control my attitude and temper.
- I learned that there are many people out there that have anger too and I’m not the worst at all or the only one.
- I learned that controlling your attitude and temper can get you way further in life.
- I learn that attitude and temper can hurt your future even your peers.
- That there are many ways to stay calm.
- That it taught me to work well with others and help change my life to make things easier.
What will you do differently as a result of this Anger Management Class?
- Look at the problem and make if funny so I won’t get the police called on me.
- I will take advice from this class and from this book.
- Take situations carefully and respect others more and myself as well.
- React to situations differently and control my actions.
- Respect myself and others and communicate respectfully in a kind way.
- I will work hard on my attitude; try to be respectful, helping and considerate to others.
- Control myself and try as hard as I can.
- To be control means I can better control myself.
- I will see myself trying hardest to make a lot more friends at school and get good grades and be kind to parents.
- I will think about my actions first.
- Think about Mr. and Mrs. Attitude and Temper.
- By thinking before speaking and watching what I say.
Article by Billy J. Strawter, Sr.
© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved Worldwide
Changes Mothers Need to Make to Improve Relationship with Teenagers
Recently, I wrote an article regarding changes teenagers needed of their father to improve relationship. I thought it would also be interesting to evaluate how teenagers felt about their relationship with their mothers. Mothers are the greatest asset to the family. I appreciate them greatly because moms bring a wealth of commitment, care and love to the family. Their energy fosters the right kind of family foundation. Every family needs emotional stability in the home. It’s amazing how many mothers multitask for the survival of the family. Listed below are teenagers’ responses to the following questions:
What changes your mother needs to make to improve her relationship with you?
“She needs to get better control of her emotions; I don’t think she realizes how her words affect me emotionally. I also think she needs to understand that we are two different people, which means we won’t always see eye to eye. Even though I am her child, she still has to respect my beliefs and opinions as she expects me to respect her.”
“Mom needs to trust me more and try not to bring up the past all the time”
“Talk to me instead of yelling”
“Mom needs to get a job, car and house so that I can live with her part time without going to grandmother. She needs to go tell the court she needs visitation.”
“I wish mom won’t be so pushy on me. I want mom to be understanding about what I want to do.”
“I wish mother would talk stuff out instead of yelling. Don’t always put her husband over her kids, and I need mom to be there when I need her.
“Mom needs to stop yelling so much and believe that sometimes I could be telling the truth. I want mom to stop assuming I am not telling the truth.”
“I wish mom would let me enjoy my teen years instead of trying to have me to do and be what she wants me to be. Let me learn from my own mistakes. Mom needs to listen and believe me.”
My mother needs to change a lot. She needs to leave her boyfriend, get clean, and stay clean. Stop lying, stop stealing, take care of self and learn to take constructive criticism. I wish mom would go to rehab and just get better.
“I want my mother to trust me more and I want to share anything with my mom. Sometimes, I feel like I can talk to my grandmother about anything before I can talk to my mother. Sometimes I am scared to talk to her so I just leave it to myself. I want to be able to go to places without her thinking I am doing something wrong. All I want is that my mother’s trust me.
“My mom needs to work on her temper that she has with me. She needs to stop putting herself first.
“My mother needs to start a trustworthy relationship with me. Mom needs to change her attitude with me. Mom needs to understand I am me and no one else; she needs to improve her attitude and confidence in me and my brother. I never understood why she gets angry towards me after dad left. A lot of things start happening.”
“To improve our relationship my mom needs to communicate with me more and try to show me she cares about our relationship. It would also help if she won’t yell as much. If she showed me she could stop yelling, it would help our relationship get better.”
“My mom can’t really do anything to improve our relationship. The only thing we need is trust. It’s my fault we don’t have a trusting relationship but only time will improve our relationship.”
“I wish my mom would stop going alone with what her boyfriend tells her and stop yelling at me without reason. I need her help once and a while and to have a day where only I and mom can have time together.”
“I wish my mother would stop drinking and stop calling me names. I want mom to be nicer to my little sister and brother, stop sleeping with other guys, stop buying and giving to minors and be a good mom that will listen to me.
Other Teenagers Responses
- I wish my mom wouldn’t pick an argument with me
- Let me do more, trust me and don’t always argue
- Nothing because we already have a really good relationship
- My mother needs to be happier. It seems like she’s always mad with me
- Mom needs to learn to control her anger even if I am the only target in the house
- Mom needs to stop yelling at me when I’m not doing anything to get yelled at
- My mother needs to listen to my side of the story instead of jumping to conclusion
- I wish my mom would ask me nicely to do things instead of automatically get an attitude
- My mother needs to think things through before she reacts and she needs to stop overreacting to the little things
- My mom and I have a good relationship and no changes are needed
- Mother needs to listen more and stop thinking she knows everything all the time
- I wish mom would get me help when I need it
Advice for Parents
There are so many factors that contribute to a great or poor relationship with teenagers. The information contained in this article is designed to give parents insight on how some teens feel about their mother. Mothers throughout the world are faced with many challenges raising children and especially when they become adolescents. Every parent should put their children first but don’t forget to stay healthy by exercising, eating healthy foods and spending time to yourself for relaxation. Please utilize trusted family members or friends to help you through the challenges you are facing with your youngsters. Listed below are simple recommendations on building a better relationship with your teenagers:
- Spend personal time with your teens
- Stop yelling at your children
- Listen with your heart
- Stop overreacting to teens negative behavior
- Think before you overreact
- Don’t believe you are always right
- Avoid valuing your boyfriend over your children
- Stop substance abuse
- Minimize getting an attitude and being angry
- Let the adolescents know you love them unconditionally
- Allow your youngsters to build trust
- Allow them to make some mistakes and help the teenagers work through the mistakes
- Show confidence in your children
- Don’t be angry with your children if you are going through a divorce or if your husband left you
- Don’t expect teenagers to be like someone else. Let your teens be themselves
- Accept constructive criticism from your children
- Avoid using of cruse words
- Do not emotionally scare your children
- Build a great relationship with your teenagers
- Encourage them often instead of calling them bad names
- Communicate with respect to your teens
- Eat dinner together and attend religious service with your children
- Give your teenagers help when needed
- Don’t’ always think your teenagers are doing something wrong
- Know where your teens are on the weekend and who they hangout with
Mothers, you have tremendous influential power over your children. I encourage all moms to build a dynamic and un-destructible relationship with their teenagers. Children are an extension of you and sometimes you can see you in them. It’s fantastic to understand that regardless of the negative circumstances you face in life, you have a big heart to deal with it. Time will always heal a broken relationship but it takes a lot of forgiveness. Please listen and understand your teenagers. I hope God will give you the strength and the desire to maintain, improve and endure your relationship with your teenager, persevere.
Written by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr.
© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Listed below are simple strategies parents can use to control their feelings and emotions when faced with major obstacles. If you are facing problems in a relationship; such as the workplace or with your children, these simple strategies will work. Parents, you face many challenges every day whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom or dad.
Parents, it is very important to understand the magnitude of the daily challenges you face. If you deal with them improperly, you can damage your relationship with your teenager and younger children as well as with your spouse if married. When you are out of control, undesirable negative consequences may occur. Life is never simple but the more resources you have in your arsenal to combat difficult issues during conflicts, you will become more successful.
Listed below are potential negative consequences due to uncontrolled attitude and temper.
Negative Consequences of Uncontrolled Attitude and Temper
- Closed mindedness
- Create insecurity Reduced creativity, innovation & productivity
- Fosters Broken relationships
- Lead to physical sickness
- Creates uncontrolled depression and stress
- Use of drugs, tobacco and alcohol
- Isolate self from peers
- Perform just enough to complete the task
- Abandon responsibility
- Poor eating habits
- Foster Low self-esteem
- Lead to potential divorce
- Negative impact on family and others
- Lead to potential incarceration
- loss of credibility
- Leads to negative impact on character
- Causes an individual to potential run away from responsibilities
Strategies to Control Attitude and Temper
- Motivate self and others to move in the same direction
- Accept changes
- Accept constructive criticism
- Avoid being jealous of peers
- Avoid overreacting to a negative situation
- Take time out before you react to a negative situation
- Apologize when you are wrong or hurt a person’s feelings and or emotions
- Avoid over use of your power
- Believe in self and others
- Communicate precisely and consistently with each other
- Communicate your feelings with respect
- Take time to relax and exercise
- Eat a balanced and nutrient meal
- Encourage each other to be innovative and creative
- Perform regardless of the obstacles you face
- Forgive those who disappoint or hurt you, it limits the pain
- Take time to relax and exercise
- Network when necessary to accomplish success
- Resolve conflict quickly without submitting to Mr. and Mrs. Attitude and Temper
I am convinced that the greatest challenge we face as parents and individuals is the task of controlling our attitude and temper. I hope with a sincere heart that those of you struggling with controlling your attitude and temper that you seek the help you need. This is necessary to avoid destroying relationships you have with your family and others. You must believe that you can control Mr. and Mrs. Attitude and Temper which is you. I pray you will have the commitment and strength to apply the above simple strategies to control attitude and temper.
Written: Mr. Wisdom
(c) 2011 EnviCare Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved Worldwide
I enjoy listening to teenagers. They have a lot to offer to society if we would only understand and listen to them. They are valuable to society and we shouldn’t ignore their great potential. Recently, I worked with some teenagers in my Keys to Success Program (Anger Management Class). The program is designed to give teenagers strategies and encouragements to control their feelings and emotions when Mr and Mrs. Attitude and Temper (Mr and Mrs. A.T.) take control of them. They are taught that they are Mr. and Mrs. A.T. They are informed of their responsibility to control them because they can’t defeat them. I am hopeful that these two young men will be very successful in life. The keys to success must also include support from the family.
It is absolutely fascinating to see changes in a teenager’s life when they learn to control their feeling and emotions. They have a since of accomplishment and value in their lives when they are in control. It also helps teenagers to build their self-esteem. When a teenager is equipped to control their emotions and feelings positively, they will overcome any obstacles in life. Listed below are comments shared by Toney and Logan.
“When I first came to the anger management class, I had my mind made up that I wouldn’t learn anything. I felt the class would be a waste of time. As the day went by, we stated to talk more about life and about what was going on in our lives, then the class became interesting. I had an opportunity to share why I get mad. I learned about what I needed to work on to control my attitude and temper. Being in the small group environment, helped made it easy to open up and share the real things that were going on in my life. I learned how attitude causes pain and frustration and how temper causes angry and destruction toward self and others. That really helped me out the most. There were times when I would get mad for no reason. I never knew the consequences of being angry or anything. I learned that everything is not going to be perfect. When you react to things in a disrespectful way, you are going to receive what you invested in your life. I have learned how to respect others.”
“The anger management class helped me see that getting angry and frustrated over needless situations and arguments are pointless. You can control your attitude and temper with self-control and you must have the ability to want to succeed. Without allowing attitude and temper to control you, life can be a lot more stress free and enjoyable. If you are happy with yourself and the people you surround yourself with, it makes life happier, and less frustrating. Uncontrolled Attitude and temper are attributes you don’t need in your life, because they can make someone into somebody they don’t want to become.
The anger management has made me see clear in areas that I wasn’t fond of before and has guided me into building better character and becoming a better person.
The anger management class helped me to deal with my attitude and temper which is helping me in everyday life. I also learned the importance of being successful and maintaining that success. You must put effort into being successful. Success is what drives me to become more determined toward living a successful life. The anger management has made me see clear in areas that I wasn’t fond of before and has guided me into building better character and becoming a better person.”
Written by: Mr. Wisdom
(c) 2011 EnviCare Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved Worldwide
My name is Colleen. I was arrested for shoplifting. I was angry when I got arrested but for some reason it was towards everyone around me and not myself. I was stubborn and very hard headed. I had a bad attitude and my temper was out of control. At first, when I was told I had to attend a class for shoplifting, I thought it was going to be a boring class with bad kids. It turned out the class was amazing and the kids weren’t bad at all. Keys to Success is the class and I learned many life-changing lessons by attending it.
“I would just walk away any time things weren’t going my way, or when I was getting angry”
I learned many things that I will never forget. I agree when it is said people don’t change overnight. But after one month in the Keys class, I did change in many ways and all were for the better. I learned to control my attitude and temper and to stop and think before reacting to a problem. I never thought in a million years I would change from a stubborn teenager to a more mature young woman. This class has matured me in many ways. I have always had problems trusting and opening up to people. I would like to thank my instructor for giving me the strength to do just that.
The main thing I learned from the Keys class was to communicate. I use to just walk away any time things weren’t going my way, or when I was getting angry. However, now I feel I can communicate my feelings with respect. I recommend that any young teen in my situation that needs an eye opener take the Keys to Success class. I know it will help you, just as it has me.
Thank you again, you have truly changed my way of thinking and from now on I will make wiser investments in my piggy bank.
Colleen’s is a typical teenager that sometimes struggles with making right choices when things are difficult at home. She chose to allow stubbornness, attitude, temper and anger to control her when things became difficult at home. Colleen has a wonderful heart but needed someone to inspire and encourage her to move beyond her past. She has a new opportunity to create a positive story on her new journey in life. It won’t be easy but she has already won the battle because she has acknowledged the error of her ways.
Teens, as you read this post, you too can overcome stubbornness, attitude, temper or anger if you obtain the help you need. Life is short and you must do your very best to not allow these four things to control your life in a negative manner. Learn to communicate your feelings with respect as Colleen did with her parents. Learn to agree to disagree without destroying relationships with your parents, siblings or friends. Remember even if you have made wrong choices as a result of your stubbornness, attitude, temper or anger, you can choose a new direction for your life and rebuild broken relationships.
Written by Mr. Wisdom
(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting Inc. All Rights Reserved World Wide
In this post, you will learn valuable information from comments adults wrote after attending an anger management workshop. Listed below are their responses to two basic questions:
- What did you learn from the anger management workshop?
- What will you do differently as a result of attending the anger management workshop?
Hopefully, you will use this information to reflect on changes you might need to make in your own life relating to anger and lack of self-control.
Question 1: What did you learn from the anger management workshop?
- How to control my anger and temper. How to turn the other cheek.
- My attitude and my temper must be in control at all times in order to change my surroundings and myself.
- How to be yourself and have control.
- Several ways to control anger and temper.
- I learned it’s about balancing the positive and negative.
- How to deal with situations when people get on your nerves. Don’t get mad and handle it very professionally.
- To be a better person and how to respond to different situations positively.
- How to deal with stress.
- Controlling my attitude and temper. Difference in effect of attitude and temper. Strategies to work towards improving our attitude/temper.
- Having a positive attitude and good outlook.
- I learned that I don’t give people the appropriate amount of credit sometimes.
- Strategies to help to develop success and how to overcome obstacles as we live.
- To control my anger. We can’t please everyone.
- How to control my anger so that I can be productive.
- I learned that everyone is different and no two people think the same. By controlling our attitude and temper, accepting those who are different is easier.
- A little about myself and that my anger is coming from lack of self-control.
- I learned some great ideas for life skills. I also learned to make the right choice, use the right words and that my actions speak louder than words.
- How to overcome obstacles in a positive way. I also was reminded that I have to believe in myself.
- Learned about life skills that I knew and will continue to build upon them in my life.
What will you do differently as a result of attending the anger management workshop?
- Take more time for myself. Think before I speak. Use my piggy bank (brain) wisely.
- I will continue to have self-control and be more sensitive to others.
- Try things out and be heard.
- Try to forgive others that hurt me and my feelings.
- Think before responding to a bad situation and not to be hurtful with words.
- Stand my ground but not angrily. Keep a cool head.
- Control my attitude and temper.
- Be the bigger person and apologize.
- Work towards improving my negative attitude which will improve my personality.
- Have a better attitude.
- Continue working on improving my teamwork skills.
- Don’t let other’s burdens weigh me down. Keep moving forward.
- Control myself and not be too bossy.
- This has helped me to continue my path in forgiving and learning that we are all different. I would not change a thing.
- I will express myself more so that I can go on with what I need to do with respect
- More self control and finding why I feel the way I do. Set goals for myself. Store positive things in my piggy bank (brain).
- I will reevaluate my attitude and actions. I will always think before I speak so that I will choose the right words.
- I will work on me and as I work on me, try to be the better person. I will also work on letting things go. Look over the handout as a reminder to deposit positively into my piggy bank (brain).
Life is never simple and you will face challenges as long as you live. You have a responsibility to control your attitude and temper without destroying yourself and others. If you are currently experiencing problem with anger, consider attending an anger management workshop. It could improve your relationships with your children, family and friends. Learn to communicate your feelings with respect and you will feel better about yourself.
Written by Mr. Wisdom
(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved Worldwide