Tag Archives: Children

Parents’ Propectives on What They Learned and Will do Differently After Their Expereince in A Life Skills Workshop

This article describes how parents felt after attending a life skills workshop. They shared their perspectives on changes they needed to make in regard to their relationship with their children. or especially the teenager.  Hopefully, this information will be absolutely beneficial as you work to bring stability to your household.  Every family is unique but faces similar issues. How you respond to those issues can lead to a fantastic outcome or a night mare. It’s up to you to make the right choice regardless of your situation. The parents that attended the life skills workshop recognized the changes they needed to implement in their household.  If you can identify with their comments, please consider making the appropriate changes in your life and feel good about the decisions you are doing to motivate and encourage your children to be successful.

What did you learn from Importance of Family: How to Connect Workshop?

 

  • I learned to listen; communicate with my child whether than yell at them!
  • To listen to my child more.
  • I learned a lot about myself on how I need to become firmer as a parent, need to become consistent with my discipline and follow through.
  • I learned how to handle situations that I will come across with my kids in a more appropriate way instead of yelling and being negative.
  • To trust in myself and be confident and strong after being disabled. I had lost a lot of confidence but I have the same brain just not the same body.
  • To stop and think before I react to the child and that all opinions are important.
  • I feel I learned how to not only be a better parent but to be a better person.
  • To take time and listen to my children, and to be consistent with punishment. Try not to yell when they have done wrong.
  • I learned that to argue with a child isn’t going to solve a problem. It taught me that being open-minded goes a long way and helps to understand a child more.
  • How to communicate without negativity.
  • I learned how to speak better with my children and the need to spend more time with them and the listen more.
  • To listen, not overreact and to think positive and instill positive thoughts.
  • To be a better parent, how to communicate with my child without yelling. Let my child communicate their feelings, and emotions. I need to better my relationship with my child.

 What will you do differently as a result of the Importance of Family: How to Connect Workshop?

 

  • Stop yelling at them!
  • Have more family time.
  • I will be a better listener
  • I will be more positive towards the way I communicate with my kids and not yell as much.
  • We will communicate better, take the yelling out, talk and earn his trust back.
  • To calm down listen more and give more praise.
  • How I handle disciplining situations.
  • Listen more to what they say and have more family time.
  • I will change the way I handle bad situations by taking a breather then discuss the problem.
  • Stop my yelling, swearing and try to communicate more with my son.
  • I will try to be a better parent, person and so as much as possible to help my child.
  • I hope to make more time for family and respect my daughter’s decisions and opinions.

 

 Article by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr.

 

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.               All Rights Reserved Worldwide

 

Parents Are Valuing Life Skills Strategies To Help Raise Their Children

Parents Are Valuing Life Skills Strategies To Help Raise Their Children

Listed below are comments from parents that attended a life skills workshop. We will continue to share with you parents perspectives on the values of attending a life skills workshop. We believe that our articles should contain information that reflects the challenges parents are facing with their children, especially parents with teenagers. 

Shawn’s Testimonial

“As a parent, I will work on listening to my children. I will work on yelling less to not at all. It was encouraging hearing suggestions in the life skills workshop and especially the things we are already doing now with our children. There were several times I questioned if I am parenting correctly. The life skills workshop helped to reiterating what I am doing at home is the correct path as well as room for improvement.

The life skills workshop should be offered to new parents. I thought the workshop was very powerful and helped me look at myself and what I need to work on at home. I believe more in myself.”

Matthew’s Testimonial

“I learned I needed more sensible discussion with my troubled son without some of the anger of past disciplining. I have tried yelling in the past to discipline my children. I have discipline while angry immediately after the incident. The instructor showed me ways to get things out of my child without yelling and being angry but to discipline the correct way. I believe my son will be a much better person after this workshop because my wife and I attend it together. I needed this workshop to take a step back and refocus my energy in a proper and beneficial way towards assisting my family and son.

Christiana’s Testimonial

“I now value the importance of building a relationship with my children including caring and making supper. It’s important that their physical, spiritual, educational and emotional needs are met as well.  I will stop pouring into my child yelling and begin to invest motivating, encouraging, and listening to my children. Instead of trying to rule over them, I will listen and try to get to the root cause of the problem. Sometimes, I walk away and never know what my son is feeling. When I do walk away, it hinders my son from wanting to do better and it makes things worse because now he is angry and won’t talk to me. I do still need to be firm and stand up for what I believe even if it’s not popular. I will share more encouragement, praise, love, time and proper discipline with my son.”

Jim’s Testimonial

“As learned in the parenting class today, it is important to be directly involved with your children in everything they do. By this I mean, you have to influence them from the time they are young and be a positive person in their life. Most of the things we covered are plainly obvious but it is so easy to forget of stray from these positive aspects. I believe that the life skills’ strategies will help me to refocus on these little things that make a difference. It will help me become more of a positive influence moving forward with my children. Instead of invoking negative thoughts, I will forcus on being understanding and caring towards my children.  Negative things can and do happen in life and as a parent, I have position of authority to help guide my children through their issues. I am very glad that I attended the life skills workshop and also that my teenager is involved in the anger management and critical thinking classes.

Article by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr.

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.               All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Mistakes Parents Made with Their Children through Their Adolescence Years

Mistakes Parents Made with Their Children through Their Adolescence Years

Parents, have you ever made mistakes with your children and wished you had handled the situations differently? I personally don’t know of a single parent that hasn’t made mistakes with their children.  I have counseled parents that deliberately hurt their children because of their own negative experiences during childhood. One thing I do know is that you can’t take back the mistakes but you can learn from them and make better choices in the future.  I encourage mothers and fathers to avoid making mistakes that will damage your children emotionally for the rest of their lives. The core foundations of families in society are broken such as in the development of the emotional, educational, physical and spiritual needs of the children.

During a life skills workshop, I had a fantastic dialog with mothers and fathers relative the mistakes they made with their children. I ask the parents what mistakes you made raising your children. I hope you enjoy reading their responses listed below.

What mistakes have you made raising your children?

Mary’s Mistakes

“I did not listen enough when they were trying to tell me something and there was not sufficient communication with my children. I yelled back at them when they were yelling at me and I did not follow through with discipline. I said many negative things in arguments we had. I did not give my youngsters enough attention when they needed it most. I did not praise them enough on their accomplishments. I put some of my own needs before theirs. I said negative things about their father a few times to the children, and I did n0t set boundaries. I did not build a great family relationship. I did not keep them in sports so they were not out in the streets which would have stopped them from getting into trouble. There was not enough trust and love toward my children.”

Val’s Mistakes

“I let my teenage son always get what he wants. I would bribe him with money. I let him miss school when he wanted to. I never really sat down and talked to my son. I never gave him a chance to let me know how he felt. I used to choose my friends and partying over my son. I would put my girlfriend before him”

Sally’s Mistakes

“I did not give my youngsters rules as they got older. I yelled first and had guilt afterward. I tried to be their friend instead of their parent. I gave in often after I punished in quilt. I yelled a lot to get my point across then I just forgot about the situation.”

Susana’s Mistakes

“As a single parent, I gave and gave instead of them earning or working for things. I feel things would have been better if I had set more boundaries. As a single parent, I had so many grounds to cover as a mom and dad. I was their mother and father. They are older now and not really respecting my struggles and responsibility as a concerned mother. I can’t hold their hands and walk them through life, and they have to do their part; such as school, getting a job, and move out on their own, and live a life of love.”

Rosesetta’s Mistakes

“I was not there all the time for my children. I did not listen to them more about their feelings. I didn’t show them the right and the wrong way. I should have been more responsible. I said the wrong thing too much and I did not do enough discipline with my children.”

Angelica’s Mistakes

“Some mistakes I made were not listening and I sometimes say things off the handle instead of listening. I sometimes say things out of anger which sometimes hurt as bad as being shot. I spoiled my kids to the point that my daughter thinks every pair of Jordan’s shoes that come out she should get them. I think I let my son get away with too much which makes my daughter think it is okay to do. When I put my kids on punishment they should stick to it. But I let them off punishment early which made the youngsters think mom is mad today but I can leave tomorrow. I talked bad things about the kids’ father when frustrated and the kids heard it. Sometimes, I lose my temper and just acted in a way my kids should not see. So what I am saying is that what I do is a prime example of what my kids do. But I will never give up and will change with the help of God.”

Brandon’s Mistakes

“I have been distance, selfish and wrapped up in my own personal problems”

“I have not paid sufficient attention to them and taken their concerns seriously. I have been distance, selfish and wrapped up in my own personal problems. I have not shown enough love to my children nor told them enough. I forgot promises made and did not follow through with the obligations. I have not spent enough time with them nor been involved with their lives. I fought with their mother over unimportant things. I have not financially supportive my children enough. I have pushed them for the bad things but I have not’ praised them enough for the good things my children do.”

Mark’s Mistakes

“I gave my children too much and I let them do things after we said no. I spoiled my children and yelled at them too much. I got angry at some of the silly things. Not talking to grandparents about what we do and do not want our children to have. Not listening to spouse when making decisions because of different points of view. Not being aware of who my children are socializing with. Not discussing situation with my spouse before either one sets punishment and spouse not being on the same page.”

You have read about the mistakes parents made with their children. I am hopeful you will seriously look at the dynamics of your family. Perhaps there are some changes you need to make in your household with your children. Here are 20 steps parents can use to avoid making damaging mistakes with your youngsters.

  1. Spend time with your children
  2. Stop what you are doing and listen to your children when they are trying to tell you something
  3. Follow through when disciplining your youngsters
  4. Praise your children sufficiently on their accomplishments
  5. Avoid saying negative things to your children during conflict
  6. Don’t’ talk negatively to your children about mother or father
  7. Model the right way you want your children to live
  8. Give your children rules and boundaries
  9. Know who your children spent time with
  10. Avoid losing your temper in front of your children
  11. Don’t forget the promises you made to your youngsters
  12. Take your children concerns seriously
  13. Get your children counseling if needed
  14. Follow through on your obligation for your adolescences
  15. Work together with spouse when disciplining your children
  16. Avoid saying the wrong things too much
  17. Support the family financially
  18. Inform grandparents the thing you prefer them not to give to your children
  19. Avoid spoiling your children too much
  20. Do not be your children friend but instead be the parent

Finally, you can not control your children but you must give them the skills needed to make the right choices when they are not around you. When you make a mistake with your children, please apologize and ask them to forgive you.  You have the power and the ability to invest wisely in your children’ lives.

Written by:  Billy J. Strawter, Sr

© EnviCare Consulting Inc.                          All Rights Reserved

Parenting Advice Help Parents to Improve Their Parenting Skills

Parenting Advice Help Parents to Improve Their Parenting Skills

Video:Parents and Teens Invest Wisely in Your Brain

Parents are constantly bombarded with opportunities to raise their children to become responsible adolescents and adults. However, fathers and mothers can’t escape the prospect of facing a rebellious child. There always seems to be one person within the family that creates more problems than the rest of the children if parents have more than one child. Sometimes hopelessness invades the mind of parents when the child’s behavior is chronic. Parents, you are not facing this issue alone but you must believe that your child’s behavior can change.  If you are facing issues with your children or young adult, it’s very valuable to attend a life skills workshop which is very beneficial. A life skills workshop can provide parents with additional tools to confront your family’s issues, and experience what other parents are going through as well and you won’t feel alone. Listed below are parents’ stories about their experiences in an “Important of family: How to Connect” life skills workshop.

Nick’s Experience

“I have  learned that approaching issues with my children have a better chance of positive outcomes if handled with understanding; instead of reacting out of anger. I will deal with the heart of the matter in a calm and nurturing way, one which fosters love and understanding and teaches rather than hurt. As a parent, I want my children to learn how actions have consequences and the responsibility inherent in those actions. I want them to be caring and responsible adults and this workshop has opened my eyes to different approaches to raising my children.”

Debbie’s Experience

I will be there for my children when I know they have made bad choices.

“I learned that family is more important than anything. I’m a single mom raising a 12 year old daughter and a 17 year old teenage son. I cherish both of my children very much. Being a single parent and working 40 hours or more per week is hard, I have learned to cope and deal with it. Attending the life skill class is the best thing that could have happened to me. It taught me how to be a better parent, to stop and listen to my children. It helps me to see how important their opinions are to me. I learned that yelling and screaming is not the answer to correcting my children’s behavior. I will let youngsters know I value their opinions and I learned not to always point the blame at my children. I will be there for my children when I know they have made bad choices.”

Kathie’s Experience

“I came to the life skills class not knowing what to expect. I actually enjoyed the class and learned a few things. It was good to see other parents in the life skills class and that I’m not the only one facing challenges with my children. It has taught me to listen more to my children. A child needs their parents to listen, just as much as we need them to listen. The life skills class taught me that children do things for multiple reasons. I also learned that it is true that kids do things to look good for their friends because of peer pressure. I am going to do my best to use the things I learned to apply at home. I want more than anything for my child to be her best, for her to know that she can trust me; and she can succeed in life and not let others influence her negatively. I learned it’s never too late to get additional life skills.”

Amelia’s Experience

“I am leaving the life skills class today with the expectation of have a better relationship with my daughter and maybe avoid having this problem with my other children. I’m going to use more positive words in my home and try not to argue at everything that might go wrong. I am going to close my mouth a little more and listen to what they have to say before I yell or react to things. I feel like this class has helped me open my eyes to the fact that I am dealing with a young adult and not a baby. She has opinions and thoughts that need to be heard.  I’m going to follow through with any discipline that set and give more thoughts to what kind of discipline is appropriate.”

 Parenting Advice

Listed below are valuable skills that parents had in common after attending a life skills class for parents. We hope you will reflect on the skills to apply in your situations.

  1. Deal with your child’s behavior in a calm manner
  2. Provide appropriate discipline
  3. Don’t think it’s too late to learn life skills
  4. Use more positive words with your children
  5. Screaming and yelling won’t solve the problem
  6. Stop what you are doing and listen to your children
  7. Don’t’ deal with young adults as a child
  8. Don’t point all the blame toward the child
  9. Close mouth a little more and listen to the child
  10. Be available for the child even though the child made a bad choice

Attending a life skills class is very beneficial to attaining parenting advice which helps parents to improve their parenting skills with their children.

Written By: Billy J. Strawter, Sr

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.               All Rights Reserved

 

Changes Mothers Need to Make to Improve Relationship with Teenagers

Changes Mothers Need to Make to Improve Relationship with Teenagers

Recently, I wrote an article regarding changes teenagers needed of their father to improve relationship. I thought it would also be interesting to evaluate how teenagers felt about their relationship with their mothers. Mothers are the greatest asset to the family.  I appreciate them greatly because moms bring a wealth of commitment, care and love to the family. Their energy fosters the right kind of family foundation. Every family needs emotional stability in the home. It’s amazing how many mothers multitask for the survival of the family.  Listed below are teenagers’ responses to the following questions:

What changes your mother needs to make to improve her relationship with you?

Sarah’s Responses:

“She needs to get better control of her emotions; I don’t think she realizes how her words affect me emotionally. I also think she needs to understand that we are two different people, which means we won’t always see eye to eye. Even though I am her child, she still has to respect my beliefs and opinions as she expects me to respect her.”

Frank’s Response:

“Mom needs to trust me more and try not to bring up the past all the time”

 Vivian’s Response

“Talk to me instead of yelling

 Doug’s Responses:

“Mom needs to get a job, car and house so that I can live with her part time without going to grandmother. She needs to go tell the court she needs visitation.”

 Tara’s Response:

“I wish mom won’t be so pushy on me. I want mom to be understanding about what I want to do.”

 Quanta’s Responses:

“I wish mother would talk stuff out instead of yelling. Don’t always put her husband over her kids, and I need mom to be there when I need her.

 Raven’s Responses:

“Mom needs to stop yelling so much and believe that sometimes I could be telling the truth. I want mom to stop assuming I am not telling the truth.”

 Cass’s Responses:

“I wish mom would let me enjoy my teen years instead of trying to have me to do and be what she wants me to be. Let me learn from my own mistakes. Mom needs to listen and believe me.”

 Kaila’s Responses:

My mother needs to change a lot. She needs to leave her boyfriend, get clean, and stay clean. Stop lying, stop stealing, take care of self and learn to take constructive criticism. I wish mom would go to rehab and just get better.

 Linda’s Responses:

“I want my mother to trust me more and I want to share anything with my mom. Sometimes, I feel like I can talk to my grandmother about anything before I can talk to my mother. Sometimes I am scared to talk to her so I just leave it to myself. I want to be able to go to places without her thinking I am doing something wrong. All I want is that my mother’s trust me.

 Peter’s Responses:

“My mom needs to work on her temper that she has with me. She needs to stop putting herself first.

 Ashley’s Responses:

“My mother needs to start a trustworthy relationship with me. Mom needs to change her attitude with me. Mom needs to understand I am me and no one else; she needs to improve her attitude and confidence in me and my brother. I never understood why she gets angry towards me after dad left. A lot of things start happening.”

 Haley’s Responses:

“To improve our relationship my mom needs to communicate with me more and try to show me she cares about our relationship. It would also help if she won’t yell as much. If she showed me she could stop yelling, it would help our relationship get better.”

 Sally’s Responses:

“My mom can’t really do anything to improve our relationship. The only thing we need is trust. It’s my fault we don’t have a trusting relationship but only time will improve our relationship.”

 Gray’s Responses:

“I wish my mom would stop going alone with what her boyfriend tells her and stop yelling at me without reason. I need her help once and a while and to have a day where only I and mom can have time together.”

 Tricia’s Responses:

“I wish my mother would stop drinking and stop calling me names. I want mom to be nicer to my little sister and brother, stop sleeping with other guys, stop buying and giving to minors and be a good mom that will listen to me.

 Other Teenagers Responses

  • I wish my mom wouldn’t pick an argument with me
  • Let me do more, trust me and don’t always argue
  • Nothing because we already have a really good relationship
  • My mother needs to be happier. It seems like she’s always mad with me
  • Mom needs to learn to control her anger even if I am the only target in the house
  • Mom needs to stop yelling at me when I’m not doing anything to get yelled at
  • My mother needs to listen to my side of the story instead of jumping to conclusion
  • I wish my mom would ask me nicely to do things instead of automatically get an attitude
  • My mother needs to think things through before she reacts and she needs to stop overreacting to the little things
  • My mom and I have a good relationship and no changes are needed
  • Mother needs to listen more and stop thinking she knows everything all the time
  • I wish mom would get me help when I need it

 Advice for Parents

There are so many factors that contribute to a great or poor relationship with teenagers. The information contained in this article is designed to give parents insight on how some teens feel about their mother. Mothers throughout the world are faced with many challenges raising children and especially when they become adolescents. Every parent should put their children first but don’t forget to stay healthy by exercising, eating healthy foods and spending time to yourself for relaxation. Please utilize trusted family members or friends to help you through the challenges you are facing with your youngsters. Listed below are simple recommendations on building a better relationship with your teenagers:

  1. Spend personal time with your teens
  2. Stop yelling at your children
  3. Listen with your heart
  4. Stop overreacting to teens negative behavior
  5. Think before you overreact
  6. Don’t believe you are always right
  7. Avoid valuing your boyfriend over your children
  8. Stop substance abuse
  9. Minimize getting an attitude and being angry
  10. Let the adolescents know you love them unconditionally
  11. Allow your youngsters to build trust
  12. Allow them to make some mistakes and help the teenagers work through the mistakes
  13. Show confidence in your children
  14. Don’t be angry with your children if you are going through a divorce or if your husband left you
  15. Don’t expect teenagers to be like someone else. Let your teens be themselves
  16. Accept constructive criticism from your children
  17. Avoid using of cruse words
  18. Do not emotionally scare your children
  19. Build a great relationship with your teenagers
  20. Encourage them often instead of calling them bad names
  21. Communicate with respect to your teens
  22. Eat dinner together and attend religious service with your children
  23. Give your teenagers help when needed
  24. Don’t’ always think your teenagers are doing something wrong
  25. Know where your teens  are on the weekend and who they hangout with

Mothers, you have tremendous influential power over your children. I encourage all moms to build a dynamic and un-destructible relationship with their teenagers. Children are an extension of you and sometimes you can see you in them. It’s fantastic to understand that regardless of the negative circumstances you face in life, you have a big heart to deal with it. Time will always heal a broken relationship but it takes a lot of forgiveness. Please listen and understand your teenagers. I hope God will give you the strength and the desire to maintain, improve and endure your relationship with your teenager, persevere.

Written by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr.

 © 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.         All Rights Reserved

Parents Feel Angry, Betrayed, Disappointed and Hurt When Teenagers Don’t Tell the Truth

Parents Feel  Angry, Betrayed, Disappointed and Hurt When Teenagers Don’t Tell The Truth

Parenting teenagers can be very challenging sometimes as they seek their independence. Sometimes parents wonder did they received the right baby from the hospital because the child is disconnected from the family. It’s amazing as parents observe their children grow up they wonder what will they become as an adult. The greatest hope is for their teenagers to be protected from emotional scares and the desire for the youngsters to be very successful. Suddenly, a great storm arises in the relationship do to an unbelievable choice the child made. The parents didn’t hear about the problem from their teen but were informed by someone else.  It’s an emotional roller coaster for parents when their adolescents fail to tell them the truth.  Listed below is how parents feel when their teens avoid telling the truth when they are in trouble.

How do you feel when your children don’t tell you the truth?

Stacy’s Responses:

  • It depends upon what’s it about and I try to talk to her
  • I want to know the reason for not telling me the truth

Deborah’s Responses:

  • I feel angry, frustrated and disappointed
  • I start yelling and screaming
  • I don’t listen
  • Teenagers don’t trust me

Ted’s Responses:

  • Disappointed because they ate making bad choices
  • Frustrated because I think what did I do wrong
  • Sadden because they are not open to telling me the truth

Albert’s Responses:

  • I feel let down
  • I feel angry and disappointed
  • I haven’t done my job

Kathie Responses:

  • I feel like I haven’t done my job
  • I ask myself where did I go wrong
  • I think back to trust, does my child not trust me

Hillary Responses:

  • I feel my teen have betrayed me
  • They are wrong
  • They don’t trust me
  • I feel I failed them
  • I feel hurt and angry

Paulina’s Responses:

  • I feel very sad that my teen don’t trust me to tell me what happened
  • I feel betrayed and disappointed

Carries’ Responses:

  • I feel sad and hurt because you have taught them right from wrong
  • Disappointed that they can’t talk to us about anything

Lee’s Responses:

  • I am disappointed, lost trust, and angry at my teen
  • I am in disbelief

Julia’s Responses:

  • Betrayed
  • Let down
  • Hurt
  • Disappointed

Marcia’s Responses:

  • Upset
  • Angry
  • Disappointed

Advice for teenagers

Teenagers, I encourage you to understand how untruthfulness hurt your parents’ feelings which creates different emotions. You must do everything within your power to always tell your parents the truth. Don’t hide anything from them but be brave, caring and understanding. They might overreact but their love for you will last forever. You must be patient with your parents as they process why you didn’t tell the truth. Let unconditional love and respect for your parents be the guiding light for you all the days of your life. Listed be are several responses that are common to parents:

  1. They are disappointed in their teenagers lack of truthfulness
  2. They felt betrayed because their teens weren’t willing to tell the truth
  3. They lost trust in their teens because they weren’t honest
  4. They were very angry with their teenagers for not being open
  5. They felt as though they had failed as parents

Teenager, please process your parents’ feelings and emotions. Ponder upon their feelings in your heart, soul and mind. Once again, always apply truth daily in your life. Always remember that parents feel angry, betrayed, disappointed and hurt when teenagers don’t tell the truth.

 

Written By: Billy J. Strawter, Sr

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.               All Rights Reserved

Strategies Parents Can Use to Control Attitude and Temper

Listed below are simple strategies parents can use to control their feelings and emotions when faced with major obstacles.  If you are facing problems in a relationship; such as the workplace or with your children, these simple strategies will work.  Parents, you face many challenges every day whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom or dad.

Parents, it is very important to understand the magnitude of the daily challenges you face. If you deal with them improperly, you can damage your relationship with your teenager and younger children as well as with your spouse if married. When you are out of control, undesirable negative consequences may occur.  Life is never simple but the more resources you have in your arsenal to combat difficult issues during conflicts, you will become more successful.

Listed below are potential negative consequences due to uncontrolled attitude and temper.

Negative Consequences of Uncontrolled Attitude and Temper

  • Closed mindedness
  • Create insecurity Reduced creativity, innovation & productivity
  • Fosters Broken relationships
  • Lead to physical sickness
  • Creates uncontrolled depression and stress
  • Use of drugs, tobacco and alcohol
  • Isolate self from peers
  • Perform just enough to complete the task
  • Abandon responsibility
  • Poor eating habits
  • Foster Low self-esteem
  • Lead to potential divorce
  • Negative impact on family and others
  • Lead to potential incarceration
  • loss of credibility
  • Leads to negative impact on character
  • Causes an individual to potential run away from responsibilities

Strategies to Control Attitude and Temper

  • Motivate self and others to move in the same direction
  • Accept changes
  • Accept constructive criticism
  • Avoid being jealous of peers
  • Avoid overreacting to a negative situation
  • Take time out before you react to a negative situation
  • Apologize when you are wrong or hurt a person’s feelings and or emotions
  • Avoid over use of your power
  • Believe in self and others
  • Communicate precisely and consistently with each other
  • Communicate your feelings with respect
  • Take time to relax and exercise
  • Eat a balanced and nutrient meal
  • Encourage each other to be innovative and creative
  • Perform regardless of the obstacles you face
  • Forgive those who disappoint or hurt you, it limits the pain
  • Take time to relax and exercise
  • Network when necessary to accomplish success
  • Resolve conflict quickly without submitting to Mr. and Mrs. Attitude and Temper

I am convinced that the greatest challenge we face as parents and individuals is the task of controlling our attitude and temper.  I hope with a sincere heart that those of you struggling with controlling your attitude and temper that you seek the help you need. This is necessary to avoid destroying relationships you have with your family and others.  You must believe that you can control Mr. and Mrs. Attitude and Temper which is you.  I pray you will have the commitment and strength to apply the above simple strategies to control attitude and temper.

Written: Mr. Wisdom

(c) 2011 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.                              All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Why Children Don’t Tell Parents The Truth When in Trouble

Why Children Don’t Tell Parents The Truth When in Trouble

 During a workshop, parents had a wonderful dialog as to why children don’t tell the truth when they are in trouble. It was amazing to know parents had some ideas to why their children held the truth from them. It’s was easy for parents to share their thoughts in small groups, but it’s not easy to share their feelings when interacting with their children.  Here are several parents’ perspectives as to “Why Children Don’t Tell Parents the Truth When They Are in Trouble?”

 Ms. Banker’s Reponses:

  • Afraid of being discipline
  • Parents won’t understand
  • Parents don’t listen
  • Parents start yelling and screaming
  • Don’t like punishment and grounding

 Mr. Cooperman’s Responses:

  • Believe they can resolve on their on
  • Fear and disappointment
  • Possible Punishment

 Mr. Hope’s Responses:

  • They are afraid of punishment
  • Know they have let you down
  • Think they can handle it without your help
  • Don’t want to hear you yell at them

 Ms. Rebecca’s Responses:

  • Some children are scared of the parent’s response
  • It hard for a child to trust their parents
  • Some children don’t have the communication skills

 Mr. McCain’s Reponses

  • They are afraid of losing their privileges such as phone, computer and television
  • They are afraid of being grounded

 Ms. Baker’s Responses

  • They don’t want to be punished
  • They don’t want to get into more trouble
  • They think they are getting away with it

 Ms. Parker’s Reponses

  • They don’t like what you will say
  • They are afraid of being discipline

 Mr. Vaughn’s Responses:

  • Afraid of consequences
  • No faith that parents will understand
  • Think it will blow over

 Each parents shared their perspectives to the questions asked of them.  There were duplicated responses which showed that parents are on the same level of understanding about children.  However, parents sometimes fail to recognize why their child don’t tell the truth because parents overreact to their negative behavior, and some parents usually respond before they apply listening skills. I encourage parents to consider applying the following fifteen (15) principles when your children are in trouble:

  1. Don’t over react when your children tell you he or she is in trouble
  2. Don’t over react if you hear the bad news from someone else instead of the child
  3. Ask your children to share his or her side of the story
  4. Listen intently to what your children are communicating
  5. Ask questions if you don’t understand
  6. Don’t interrupt when your children are speaking
  7. Repeat what you heard from the children to make sure you understood correctly
  8. Don’t give the children the impression you don’t trust them
  9. Avoid overreacting and don’t yell as your children share with you
  10. Apply discipline as required but don’t go over board
  11. Explain reasons for the disciplinary action
  12. Let the children know how you feel about not hearing the truth
  13. Show love and affirmation to your children
  14. Don’t attack your children character
  15. Avoid telling your children you are disappointed in them
  16. Communicate clearly to your children that you are disappointed in the negative behavior

 Write by Billy J. Strawter, Sr.

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.                              All rights Reserved

Parents Share Reasons They Love Their Children

This article is about parents sharing reasons they love their children. Each parent wrote, discussed and reflected on “Why do you Love your children?” The names were changed and their responses are listed below.

 

Ester’s Testimonial

1.      I love how they are spontaneous

2.      I love how creative they are

3.      I love how loving they can be and how they show it

4.      I love how they are there for each other.  They may have fights but in the end they have each other’s backs.

5.      I love to see them laugh together

6.      I love to see them dedicated to their grandparents and appreciate the fact they have them still in their lives

7.      I love that they have their health

8.      I love when they want to just hangout and watch television with me

9.      I love that every morning when they leave for school they tell me to have a good day and they love me.

10.  I love that at night before going to bed they tell me goodnight and that they love me

11.  I love that they want to help others

12.  I love that they want to learn about new things

13.  I love how they help out around the house

14.  I love how my son gets excited about learning how to fix things around the house.

15.  I love how they excel at sports and are competitive

16.  I love how they are dedicated to family and friends

Thomas’ Testimonial

1.      My thirteen (13) old is energetic

2.      He likes to make everything fun

3.      He gives me a different lens to look through

4.      I love the way he acts silly.

5.      I love how he dances and makes me laugh

6.      I love the way he needs my approval for a task that he has completed

7.      He knows everything, so he thinks! This gets irritating but I love that he wants to be part of every decision which shows he has leadership ability

“I love them because they are my children, they came from me and they are my blessings from God.”  

 

Amy’s Testimonial

1.      I love my children because they respect me and others

2.      They know how to act around others even when I am not around

3.      I love them because they are my children, they came from me and they are my blessings from God.

Parents, I hope you have enjoyed reading the testimonials written by parents just like you. Please take an opportunity to write down the reasons you love your children and then take the time to share what you have written with your children.  This will help you to build a better relationship with your children and create a memory that will live with your children forever.

Your children deserve your unconditional love. Encourage your children often and they will more likely become successful. Your encouragement will build their self-esteem and help your children become positive, successful adults. Do not fear expressing your love to your children. You are investing in their future. Success to parenting is about applying your life skills toward the development of your children because of your love for them.

Written by: Mr Wisdom

(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.    All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Parent Acknowledges She Never Wanted to Control Her Attitude

This post is about Shirley, a parent, who never wanted to control her attitude.  Shirley’s attitude negatively impacted her relationship with her children.

Shirley’s Testimonial

“The life skills workshop impacted my life because it helped me to learn how to control my attitude and temper. Before, I never liked to control my attitude.  Before learning to control my attitude, I would be frustrated with everything!  Now I don’t feel that way.  I am able to bask in the great feeling I have when I control my attitude. It makes me feel better. I enjoyed reading “Behind the Eyes of Juvenile Delinquents” as it had stories to which I could relate. The book helped me to deal with some situations I previously didn’t know how to handle. I appreciate having taken the life skills workshop as I now understand my life more clearly and I have become a better person and parent.”

Before learning to control my attitude, I would be frustrated with everything but now I don’t feel that way.”

Comments

Shirley is just one of thousands of parents struggling to control their attitude and temper. You might be one of those parents who have failed to model to your children how to control your attitude and temper.  Like Shirley, you no longer need to be in bondage to your attitude and temper.  Shirley found the keys to controlling her attitude and temper when she admitted she had a problem. Now, Shirley is better equipped to deal with her attitude and broken relationships with her family.  Things will get better because of Shirley’s desire and commitment to build better relationships with her family.

Parents, if you have a problem controlling your attitude and temper, seek help. You will not regret seeking help as you experience the benefits that come from reduced anger and frustration in your life.  You should always strive to do your very best to improve your attitude in order to be filled with joy and peace.  Never let stress, frustration, and anger keep you from loving yourself, your spouse and children. Let your home become filled with laughter and joy.  Joy is very contagious so allow it to infect your family along with teaching the skills needed for each family member to control their attitude and temper.  Parents, you are your children’s greatest hope for success. Parenting is not easy, but when you do it right, your family will experience success from generation to generation.

Believe that one day your offspring will be sitting around the table or campfire reflecting on the love, warmth, compassion, grace, mercy, and listening skills you passed down to them and they in turn to their children.  Parenting children should be fun and exciting during both the good times and the difficult times.  Love and commitment are the driving forces that will help you to control your feelings and emotions in a very positive way.

Parents, we hope these words have inspired you to never let your attitude and temper destroy yourself or your relationship with family.  Trust God to give you the strength you need to endure.  Release your heart, soul and mind to Him and the blessings will come as you patiently wait.

 Written by: Mr. Wisdom

(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.    All Rights Reserved Worldwide