Tag Archives: Family

Family And Friends Too Selfish to See The Needs of Other

I don’t know the frequency in which I have read John 5:1-15, but each time I meditate on those scriptures, God seems to give me additional insight. This story is about an invalid at the pool of Bethesda.

Each year, the Lord would send an angel to the pool to perform physical healing for those able to get into the pool. John 5:3 says, “Here a great number of disabled people used to lie the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for 38 years.” As I continue to picture this story in my mind, I can visualize a multitude of people rushing to the pool every year around the same time just for healing. The people were expe­riencing physical healing and joy.

 As I picture the invalid in his home, I can hear him saying with tears in his eyes, “next year someone will help me into the pool.

 However, I see an invalid in despair and with­out hope because he is not able to put himself in the pool. As he saw excitement in the eyes of those healed, sadness entered into his heart because the angel of the Lord had left. The invalid had to wait another year. So, once again they carried him back home.

 As I picture the invalid in his home, I can hear him saying with tears in his eyes, “next year someone will help me into the pool. Someone will carry me on their back into the pool and I will be healed this time.”

A year passed and the invalid returned to the pool. I can see his friends carrying him to the pool. Once again, they placed him in the same spot just watching others get healed in the pool of Bethesda. The Bible does not tell us who carried the invalid to the pool, but we can be assured they weren’t strangers. So then, why did they not help him into the pool? I believe they were too busy watching the miracles being performed, or they just didn’t care. Whatever the reasons, the invalid persevered. He never gave up. He kept returning to the pool even though he could not put himself into the pool.

 Jesus saw the invalid lying there and quietly asked, “Do you want to get well?” and the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool, while I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” But the master healer Jesus Christ said, “Get up!   Pick  up your mat and walk.” We know the invalid did walk. In this story, we see there are uncontrollable situations that only Jesus Christ has the capacity to handle. Sometimes our friends and family are too busy or too selfish to help. or, maybe they just have too many problems of their own.

 However, Jesus  is always available to guide us. He quietly touches us, and others can’t see until we receive the blessings. Jesus is perfect and knows all our needs and wants. The invalid received his joy through physical healing but later Jesus touched his spirit by saying “See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.”

 The heart must change to receive spiritual healing. We must learn to put self behind and reach out to those in pain less something worse happens to us. It is time for us to put selfishness to death and give life to love, faith and hope by helping others.

 Written By: Mr Wisdom

(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.

Parents Share Their Personal and Family Goals

Have you thought about setting goals for yourself and your family? Parents discussed setting personal and family goals during an Importance of Family: How to Connect Workshop. Most individuals understand the process of setting goals in businesses but very seldom do they set goals for their family.

Every family should consider setting goals for their family as well as individual goals. It’s important to record your goals and track how you are meeting them. Every goal should be flexible because life circumstances can change without warning. We hope this information will inspire you to establish goals for yourself and your family. The parents were asked to print their goals and place them on their refrigerator as a reminder. Listed below are personal and family goals that participants listed and discussed in their small group. Perhaps you will receive some encouragement from the fact that others are facing the same or similar struggles as you and your family.

Parent #1

Family Goals

  1. Improve communication within the family
  2. More respect among each other
  3. Having children spend more time with their father
  4. Put more priority on the family
Personal Goals

  1. Obtain my master degree
  2. Become a probation officer
  3. Spend more time with my family


Parent #2

Family Goals

  1. Spend more time together
  2. Travel more often
  3. Improve business perspective
Personal Goals

  1. Spend more time together
  2. Spend more time on hobbies
  3. Improve my communication with family

Parent #3

Family Goals

  1. To be a better family
  2. Get more involved in church
  3. Help other people
Personal Goals

  1. To become a better dad and husband
  2. Improve communication with family
  3. Control my temper better

Parent #4

Family Goals

  1. Take more time to communicate
  2. Learn to understand one another
  3. Listen to each other better
Personal goals

  1. Stop yelling and start talking to my children
  2. Spend more time with my family
  3. Change my negative attitude

Parent #5

Family Goals

  1. Make better choices
  2. Want children to finish school
  3. Want individual family member to be successful
Personal Goals

  1. Make sure my family is taken care of
  2. Interact with my family more
  3. See all my children doing good in life

Parent #6

Family Goals

  1. Get everyone back to church
  2. More family time together
Personal Goals

  1. Listen to my family attentively
  2. Stop yelling
  3. Stop pointing fingers


Parent #7

Family Goals

  1. Get my children into college
  2. Get everyone to listen
  3. Improve children relationship with their mother
Personal Goals

  1. Improve my health
  2. Complete my college degree
  3. Set more goals for myself and family

Parent #8

Family Goals

  1. Get  every family member to complete school
  2. Get children in college
  3. Get a good job
  4. Have a family of their own
Personal Goals

  1. Complete my college education
  2. Get a better job
  3. Become a better parent


Parent #9

Family Goals

  1. Set family time (Game night, dinner)
  2. Teach the children the importance of respecting others
Personal Goals

  1. Stop disrespecting others
  2. Help with teaching and educating my children
  3. Bring religion back into the family


Parent #10

Family Goals

  1. Communicate more with my family
  2. Create a more positive atmosphere
  3. Do more together as a family
  4. Be more consistent
Personal Goals

  1. Put my family first
  2. Listen better as a parent
  3. Encourage family members more
  4. Be more understanding
  5. Refrain from name calling

Parent #11

Family Goals

  1. Start back having family fun night
  2. Bring more laughter to the family
  3. Allow everyone to share their personal feeling in a positive and respectful manner
  4. Want family to get along better
  5. Do something nice for each other
Personal Goals

  1. Finish nursing school
  2. learn to love myself
  3. Take time for myself


Family Goals

  1. Get boys headed in the right direction
  2. Happiness on the inside
  3. Positive attitude and secure in themselves
  4. More family trips.
Personal Goals

  1. Get healthier and loose weight
  2. Read more
  3. Special time for myself

Parent #13

Family Goals

  1. Help at home with chores
  2. Teaching my son and daughter to get along better
  3. Improve communication within the family
  4. Stability in the home
Personal Goals

  1. More family time at home
  2. Better structure
  3. Better expressing myself to kids
  4. Handling my money better
  5. Diet
  6. Get along better with my boss
  7. Being the best care giver to my mother

Parent #14

Family Goals

  1. Eat dinner together every day
  2. Communicate with each other
  3. No yelling or crying
  4. Trust my family members
  5. Love each other and not hate
Personal Goals

  1. Have less stress in life
  2. Have fun with the children
  3. Make more money
  4. Don’t quit sports
  5. Try to get perfect
  6. Improve attendance at work for whole year

Parents, please reflect on your need to establish goals for your family.  Most of the  parents spoke often about spending more time with family, understanding, listening and improving communication. You should encourage every family member to write personal goals.  This exercise will help you to focus on things to improve your family. Make it a fun thing to do after dinner or doing quiet time.

Written by Mr. Wisdom

© EnviCare Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved World Wide

Parent Acknowledges She Never Wanted to Control Her Attitude

This post is about Shirley, a parent, who never wanted to control her attitude.  Shirley’s attitude negatively impacted her relationship with her children.

Shirley’s Testimonial

“The life skills workshop impacted my life because it helped me to learn how to control my attitude and temper. Before, I never liked to control my attitude.  Before learning to control my attitude, I would be frustrated with everything!  Now I don’t feel that way.  I am able to bask in the great feeling I have when I control my attitude. It makes me feel better. I enjoyed reading “Behind the Eyes of Juvenile Delinquents” as it had stories to which I could relate. The book helped me to deal with some situations I previously didn’t know how to handle. I appreciate having taken the life skills workshop as I now understand my life more clearly and I have become a better person and parent.”

Before learning to control my attitude, I would be frustrated with everything but now I don’t feel that way.”


Shirley is just one of thousands of parents struggling to control their attitude and temper. You might be one of those parents who have failed to model to your children how to control your attitude and temper.  Like Shirley, you no longer need to be in bondage to your attitude and temper.  Shirley found the keys to controlling her attitude and temper when she admitted she had a problem. Now, Shirley is better equipped to deal with her attitude and broken relationships with her family.  Things will get better because of Shirley’s desire and commitment to build better relationships with her family.

Parents, if you have a problem controlling your attitude and temper, seek help. You will not regret seeking help as you experience the benefits that come from reduced anger and frustration in your life.  You should always strive to do your very best to improve your attitude in order to be filled with joy and peace.  Never let stress, frustration, and anger keep you from loving yourself, your spouse and children. Let your home become filled with laughter and joy.  Joy is very contagious so allow it to infect your family along with teaching the skills needed for each family member to control their attitude and temper.  Parents, you are your children’s greatest hope for success. Parenting is not easy, but when you do it right, your family will experience success from generation to generation.

Believe that one day your offspring will be sitting around the table or campfire reflecting on the love, warmth, compassion, grace, mercy, and listening skills you passed down to them and they in turn to their children.  Parenting children should be fun and exciting during both the good times and the difficult times.  Love and commitment are the driving forces that will help you to control your feelings and emotions in a very positive way.

Parents, we hope these words have inspired you to never let your attitude and temper destroy yourself or your relationship with family.  Trust God to give you the strength you need to endure.  Release your heart, soul and mind to Him and the blessings will come as you patiently wait.

 Written by: Mr. Wisdom

(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.    All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Family Provides Hospitality

(Genesis 18:1-15)

Points to Ponder

  1. There are times when the Lord will suddenly show up (Genesis 18:1).
  2. When you are close to God you will sense His presence (Genesis 18:2).
  3. When the Lord passes by, take time to fellowship with Him (Genesis 18:3).
  4. We must be eager to serve the Lord when He shows up (Genesis 18:4-5).
  5. We must always give God our very best (finest, choicest) and nothing less. (Genesis 18:6).
  6. Always stay close to the Lord (Genesis 18:8).
  7. Remember our Lord loves to dialog with us (Genesis 18:9).
  8. The Lord continues to confirm His commitment to the family (Genesis 18:10).
  9. You are never too old for pleasure, when the Lord makes a promise (Genesis 18:11-12).
  10. Do not allow your physical limitations lead you to doubting God’s promises (Genesis 18:12).
  11. Fear can lead to lies; we must always speak the truth (Genesis 18:13-15).

Something to Consider

We must always be ready to serve our God when out of the blue He appears before us.  God expects us to show great hospitality to Him and others.  When  God appears in person or vision or dream, we must be ready to hear a wonderful announcement that will forever change us. Our lives will never be the same but our hearts will be filled with great peace and joy.

The task may be difficult but we must ask ourselves is anything too hard for God? The answer should and must be no.  Take the plunge to dialog and fellowship with the Lord so that the impossibilities will become possible. Abraham and Sarah learned not to doubt God because the promise made to them was fulfilled.

Written by Mr. Wisdom

(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc                           All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Twenty Issues That Negatively Impact the Family

This is an update to an article previously written on this subject. There are many situations that negatively impact the foundation of the family. This article focuses on twenty issues that negatively impact the success of a family. Solutions are also provided to help the family to move in the right direction.  Every family must identify the best strategies they can use to ensure the success of their family.  Use appropriate tools that work for your family.  Listed below are solutions to help you to deal with the twenty Issue that negatively impact the family:

 Issue #1 Instability in the home

Solution: Provide stability and avoid divorce if possible; do not live together without being married.  Reward each other for good deeds.

Issue #2 Decline of role models

Solution: Avoid being involved with activities that will negatively impact your child’s behavior. Value your child’s opinion.  Admit when you are wrong and apologize.

Issue #3 Decline in spirituality

Solution:  Teach your child spiritual values. Lead by example.  If you do not teach them about spirituality someone will.

Issue #4 Lack of consistent discipline

Solution:  Provide consistent discipline with love; explain reason (s) for disciplinary action.  Avoid arguments that lead to unproductive discussions. Provide the child with boundaries.

Issue #5 Lack of father or mother in the home

Solution:  Both mother and father are needed in the home if possible.  If not, fathers need to be involved in some manner with the child as well as the mother.

Issue #6 Lack of communication

Solution:  Value good communication.  Give the child a sense of security by being there for them regardless of their actions. Let your yes mean yes and no mean no!  Explain clearly any changes in decision.

Issue #7 Poor listening skills

Solution: Learn when to give advice and when to listen.

Issue #8: Drug and alcohol abuse

Solution: Communicate the dangers of using drugs, alcohol and the negative impact it has on their lives and others.

Issue # 9: Sexual abuse

Solution:  Share with your child the purpose of sex and inform them of inappropriate behavior that can hurt them and others for years. Discuss the consequences such as sexual transmitted diseases (STD’s), and pregnancy.  Discuss with them that sex offenders will be labeled as a sex offender and that it will impact their freedom to work and live anywhere they desire.

Issue #10 Lack of family time

Solution:  Eat dinner together. Participate in your child (s) activities (hobbies and sports). Limit child involvement in activities that keeps him/her away from the family.

Issue #11 Peer pressure

Solution: Build positive self-esteem by giving important tasks to perform and encourage volunteer work. Let your child know you are proud of the small things they do correctly. Hopefully it will decrease their potential to give into peer pressure.

Issue #12: Inability to control attitude and temper

Solution: Avoid reacting to negative situations but calmly communicate your feelings to the child with respect. Use control when you are angry about your child’s negative behavior.

Issue #13 Too much emphasis on material possessions:

Solution: Instill good work ethics. Share with your child the importance of waiting for material things.

Issue #14 Lack of extended family

Solution: Allow your child to get to know his or her grandparents. Get advice and support from other family members.

Issue #15 Insufficient love and hugs

Solution: Tell your child you love him or her and give them a hug.

Issue #16 Character attack

Solution:  Build your child’s character by understanding their needs. Dislike the negative behavior but love the child. Do not call the child stupid or dumb. Avoid using undesirable language to attack your child’s character.

Issue #17 Lack of goals and vision

Solution:  Teach the child the importance of setting goals

Issue #18 Lack of skill to manage money

Solution: Teach the child about money management. Set up a savings account at home or bank.

Issue #19 Selfishness

Solution:  Encourage a child to forgive those who hurt him or her. Teach them how to serve others with compassion.

Issue # 20 Lack of forgiveness

Solution: Encourage child to forgive those who hurt him or her. This allows the child to grow beyond the pain they have experienced.

These are simple steps to help you develop a strong family foundation that will last a life time. Parents, you will make mistakes but do not allow your mistakes to put you or your family in bondage.  You must seek every legal means possible to ensure the success of your family.  Live a life you know that will be a guiding light for you and your family.

Written by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr.

(c) EnviCare Consulting, Inc. Alrights Reserved Worldwide

Commit to Having a Fun Weekend

Here’s my challenge for every family in the world. I challenge you to focus on encouraging and up lifting each other with kind words and deeds. Make a commitment to enjoy life on a weekend you choose. Do not use any negative words that might hurt a family member.

It will be a great challenge because you can’t control others but you can control yourself. Here are some suggestions:

1. Send your family members a nice text message.
2. E-mail them an encouraging word.
3. Leave a note under their pillow or in their shoe or in the car or you can do all of them.
4. Take time to go for a walk.
5. Take a car ride to where you have not boldly gone before.

Whatever you choose to do, be creative, but plan to have an absolutely fun time. When you have completed the weekend, talk about your experience with each other. I hope you will experience an event that will be remembered for a life time.

Written by Mr. Wisdom

(c) EnviCare Consulting, Inc. Alrights Reserved Worldwide

Teenager Expects a Stronger Relationship with Family

This is a testimonial about Thomas, a teenager who recognized the need to control his attitude and temper.

 Thomas’ Testimonial-

I attended a class to help me understand how to turn negative situations around into positive ones in my life.  I learned to think about consequences of my actions before I make a decision because my actions have hurt someone’s feelings or led to a fight.

“I know that being in control will help me to respect others and myself”

I learned that controlling my attitude and temper would help me be a better person and achieve my life’s goals.  I know that being in control will help me to respect others and myself. Controlling my attitude and temper will also help me to grow stronger more positive relationships with my family, friends and others around me.

Being in control will prevent regret and pain. I think this class should be available to adults and teens even if they haven’t gotten into trouble.  They could use these lessons and methods as a reminder to help their friends or family to properly resolve their problems.  I am glad I was a part of this life skills ‘anger management class’ program. It has made a huge impact on my life and me as a person.


Thomas is just an ordinary teenager struggling to live his daily life.  Perhaps you have a son or daughter who’s out of control and you don’t know how to handle your rebellious teen’s negative behavior.  It may be you have given your teenager advice over and over again and you feel as though you are running into a brick wall.  The more you give your teen good advice, it seems as though the teen continues to rebel against every word you say.  Sometimes you might wonder if the hospital gave you the right child.

Never give up on your teen! Do everything within your power to save your teen.  Sometimes parents are too close to the situation to make a difference.  In Thomas’ situation, he was ready to change. Thomas realized, after taking the anger management program, that his temper was negatively impacting his family and friends.

It is now up to Thomas’ parents to help him be successful in life.  Thomas is ready to listen to his parents.  The basic mistakes parents make when their teen is trying to change are listed below:

  1. Instead of believing in hope, parents sometimes doubt their teen is really going to change.
  2. Instead of saying to their teen, “We are going to give you an opportunity to prove yourself, “ parents will say, “I’ve heard that before.”
  3. Instead of recognizing the small changes their teen has accomplished, parents sometimes  focus too much on past behavior.
  4. Instead of patiently waiting on their teen to improve their behavior, parents expect their teen’s behavior to change overnight.
  5. Instead of sitting down with their teen to discuss and reflect on the reoccurring problem, parents sometimes start yelling at their teen as soon as negative behavior manifests itself again.

Parents, it was a huge step for Thomas to admit he had an anger problem.  Thomas recognized he needed to change his behavior.  Thomas has gained new skills to help him communicate his feelings with respect.  You must believe your teenager will change at some point.  No matter how bad the situation may be, always give your teen a lifeline.  A parent’s love and beautiful heart is the guiding light to return their teen to a renewed relationship with their family.

Written by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr

(c) EnviCare Consulting, Inc, All rights Reserved worldwide