Tag Archives: Parenting

Mistakes Parents Made with Their Children through Their Adolescence Years

Mistakes Parents Made with Their Children through Their Adolescence Years

Parents, have you ever made mistakes with your children and wished you had handled the situations differently? I personally don’t know of a single parent that hasn’t made mistakes with their children.  I have counseled parents that deliberately hurt their children because of their own negative experiences during childhood. One thing I do know is that you can’t take back the mistakes but you can learn from them and make better choices in the future.  I encourage mothers and fathers to avoid making mistakes that will damage your children emotionally for the rest of their lives. The core foundations of families in society are broken such as in the development of the emotional, educational, physical and spiritual needs of the children.

During a life skills workshop, I had a fantastic dialog with mothers and fathers relative the mistakes they made with their children. I ask the parents what mistakes you made raising your children. I hope you enjoy reading their responses listed below.

What mistakes have you made raising your children?

Mary’s Mistakes

“I did not listen enough when they were trying to tell me something and there was not sufficient communication with my children. I yelled back at them when they were yelling at me and I did not follow through with discipline. I said many negative things in arguments we had. I did not give my youngsters enough attention when they needed it most. I did not praise them enough on their accomplishments. I put some of my own needs before theirs. I said negative things about their father a few times to the children, and I did n0t set boundaries. I did not build a great family relationship. I did not keep them in sports so they were not out in the streets which would have stopped them from getting into trouble. There was not enough trust and love toward my children.”

Val’s Mistakes

“I let my teenage son always get what he wants. I would bribe him with money. I let him miss school when he wanted to. I never really sat down and talked to my son. I never gave him a chance to let me know how he felt. I used to choose my friends and partying over my son. I would put my girlfriend before him”

Sally’s Mistakes

“I did not give my youngsters rules as they got older. I yelled first and had guilt afterward. I tried to be their friend instead of their parent. I gave in often after I punished in quilt. I yelled a lot to get my point across then I just forgot about the situation.”

Susana’s Mistakes

“As a single parent, I gave and gave instead of them earning or working for things. I feel things would have been better if I had set more boundaries. As a single parent, I had so many grounds to cover as a mom and dad. I was their mother and father. They are older now and not really respecting my struggles and responsibility as a concerned mother. I can’t hold their hands and walk them through life, and they have to do their part; such as school, getting a job, and move out on their own, and live a life of love.”

Rosesetta’s Mistakes

“I was not there all the time for my children. I did not listen to them more about their feelings. I didn’t show them the right and the wrong way. I should have been more responsible. I said the wrong thing too much and I did not do enough discipline with my children.”

Angelica’s Mistakes

“Some mistakes I made were not listening and I sometimes say things off the handle instead of listening. I sometimes say things out of anger which sometimes hurt as bad as being shot. I spoiled my kids to the point that my daughter thinks every pair of Jordan’s shoes that come out she should get them. I think I let my son get away with too much which makes my daughter think it is okay to do. When I put my kids on punishment they should stick to it. But I let them off punishment early which made the youngsters think mom is mad today but I can leave tomorrow. I talked bad things about the kids’ father when frustrated and the kids heard it. Sometimes, I lose my temper and just acted in a way my kids should not see. So what I am saying is that what I do is a prime example of what my kids do. But I will never give up and will change with the help of God.”

Brandon’s Mistakes

“I have been distance, selfish and wrapped up in my own personal problems”

“I have not paid sufficient attention to them and taken their concerns seriously. I have been distance, selfish and wrapped up in my own personal problems. I have not shown enough love to my children nor told them enough. I forgot promises made and did not follow through with the obligations. I have not spent enough time with them nor been involved with their lives. I fought with their mother over unimportant things. I have not financially supportive my children enough. I have pushed them for the bad things but I have not’ praised them enough for the good things my children do.”

Mark’s Mistakes

“I gave my children too much and I let them do things after we said no. I spoiled my children and yelled at them too much. I got angry at some of the silly things. Not talking to grandparents about what we do and do not want our children to have. Not listening to spouse when making decisions because of different points of view. Not being aware of who my children are socializing with. Not discussing situation with my spouse before either one sets punishment and spouse not being on the same page.”

You have read about the mistakes parents made with their children. I am hopeful you will seriously look at the dynamics of your family. Perhaps there are some changes you need to make in your household with your children. Here are 20 steps parents can use to avoid making damaging mistakes with your youngsters.

  1. Spend time with your children
  2. Stop what you are doing and listen to your children when they are trying to tell you something
  3. Follow through when disciplining your youngsters
  4. Praise your children sufficiently on their accomplishments
  5. Avoid saying negative things to your children during conflict
  6. Don’t’ talk negatively to your children about mother or father
  7. Model the right way you want your children to live
  8. Give your children rules and boundaries
  9. Know who your children spent time with
  10. Avoid losing your temper in front of your children
  11. Don’t forget the promises you made to your youngsters
  12. Take your children concerns seriously
  13. Get your children counseling if needed
  14. Follow through on your obligation for your adolescences
  15. Work together with spouse when disciplining your children
  16. Avoid saying the wrong things too much
  17. Support the family financially
  18. Inform grandparents the thing you prefer them not to give to your children
  19. Avoid spoiling your children too much
  20. Do not be your children friend but instead be the parent

Finally, you can not control your children but you must give them the skills needed to make the right choices when they are not around you. When you make a mistake with your children, please apologize and ask them to forgive you.  You have the power and the ability to invest wisely in your children’ lives.

Written by:  Billy J. Strawter, Sr

© EnviCare Consulting Inc.                          All Rights Reserved

Parents Reflect on The Importance of Attending A Parenting Workshop

 I have decided to share with my followers the reflections of parents who attended a parenting workshop. The parenting workshop focused on strategies useful for parents to raise and build better relationship with their children. As a reader, I hope you will obtain additional insight on changes you might need to enhance your parenting skills as it relates to your family.  There are duplications but it was necessary to communicate what parents have in common.  I believe their reflections on parenting skills are beneficial to individuals with children and individuals that plan to have children in the future.  I personally enjoyed reading their comments. As you read about what parents learned and what parents will do differently, you will observe that the common strategies needed to improve parenting skills are:

  • Listen better
  • Stop yelling
  • Discontinue walking away from the child
  • Improve communication
  •  Be more patient

 Listed below are parents’ reflections after they attended a parenting skills workshop:

 Parents Share The Things They Learned During A Parenting Workshop

  •  How to deal better with my children
  • I learned a lot about new ways to deal with my kids
  • Parenting skills
  • Learned new techniques and skills to use when parenting
  • Set goals boundaries and consequences. Tools to deal with confrontation
  • I need to listen to my children more than I am doing
  • I was a refresher
  • I learned ways to interact with my child
  • How to communicate with family and how good the teacher taught us
  • Take time and listen
  • Techniques to help me better in parenting my children
  • Think a lot more before I react
  • You get what you put into parenting
  • How to be a better parent and person
  • That you should listen to your children
  • Listen to your kids and never walk away from them
  • To listen to our children
  • Family values and how to be an effective parent.
  • How to listen before I speak
  • Listen and don’t walk away
  • I learned parenting is hard but with the right parenting skills and tools it can lead to a successful child
  • How to take the time to listen to my children before reacting
  • I learned I wasn’t the only one with these types of problems
  • How to talk to my children better
  • I learn a lot about myself and what I can do to improve my parenting skills
  • It was nice to be present with other parents going through the same thing

 Parents Share The Things They Will Do Differently After Attending A Parenting Workshop

  •  Listen more
  • Take time to really listen for my kids
  • Listen to my kids
  • Listen to my child more
  • Must listen and communicate more with my children
  • I will listen more and give them more power
  • Listen better
  • Open up the lines of communication with my daughter
  • Communicate with my family and try to stop arguing
  • I have learned a lot of things I will implement ASAP. The first thing I am going to do is stop yelling
  • I will listen to the needs of our child. Communicate with them and walk together in all areas of life
  • Listen before speaking and reacting
  • Try to listen better
  • Treat my children with respect
  • I will change the way and manner of approaching my children.
  • Listen before I speak
  • I will listen and I won’t walk away
  • I will improve my listening skills and spend more time talking and understanding my child
  • I will listen and not react negatively to my children
  • I will not to walk away from my child when angry. I will sit and listen
  • Spend more time with my children
  • I will be more patient and listen better
  • I won’t don’t yell and walk away when I get mad

 Written by:  Mr. Wisdom

(c) EnviCare Consulting, Inc.                                                   All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Parents Share Reasons They Love Their Children

This article is about parents sharing reasons they love their children. Each parent wrote, discussed and reflected on “Why do you Love your children?” The names were changed and their responses are listed below.

 

Ester’s Testimonial

1.      I love how they are spontaneous

2.      I love how creative they are

3.      I love how loving they can be and how they show it

4.      I love how they are there for each other.  They may have fights but in the end they have each other’s backs.

5.      I love to see them laugh together

6.      I love to see them dedicated to their grandparents and appreciate the fact they have them still in their lives

7.      I love that they have their health

8.      I love when they want to just hangout and watch television with me

9.      I love that every morning when they leave for school they tell me to have a good day and they love me.

10.  I love that at night before going to bed they tell me goodnight and that they love me

11.  I love that they want to help others

12.  I love that they want to learn about new things

13.  I love how they help out around the house

14.  I love how my son gets excited about learning how to fix things around the house.

15.  I love how they excel at sports and are competitive

16.  I love how they are dedicated to family and friends

Thomas’ Testimonial

1.      My thirteen (13) old is energetic

2.      He likes to make everything fun

3.      He gives me a different lens to look through

4.      I love the way he acts silly.

5.      I love how he dances and makes me laugh

6.      I love the way he needs my approval for a task that he has completed

7.      He knows everything, so he thinks! This gets irritating but I love that he wants to be part of every decision which shows he has leadership ability

“I love them because they are my children, they came from me and they are my blessings from God.”  

 

Amy’s Testimonial

1.      I love my children because they respect me and others

2.      They know how to act around others even when I am not around

3.      I love them because they are my children, they came from me and they are my blessings from God.

Parents, I hope you have enjoyed reading the testimonials written by parents just like you. Please take an opportunity to write down the reasons you love your children and then take the time to share what you have written with your children.  This will help you to build a better relationship with your children and create a memory that will live with your children forever.

Your children deserve your unconditional love. Encourage your children often and they will more likely become successful. Your encouragement will build their self-esteem and help your children become positive, successful adults. Do not fear expressing your love to your children. You are investing in their future. Success to parenting is about applying your life skills toward the development of your children because of your love for them.

Written by: Mr Wisdom

(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.    All Rights Reserved Worldwide