Here are comments from teenagers that attended the Keys to Success Anger Management Class. It’s always amazing to me how teenagers know what they need to do but often times ignore making the right choices. I haven’t met many teenagers who don’t sincerely regret the wrong choices they have made. It’s our responsibility to forgive them and help to do better in the future.
What did you learn from the Anger Management Class?
- I learned easier ways to handle situations, how to control your attitude and actions and to have a positive attitude.
- When you look at a problem different instead of letting your attitude take over the problem.
- I learned to stay positive and not to get down on myself. Also, I learned that if you control your attitude and temper you can live a lot more stress free and open.
- I learned that attitude and temper can be controlled that a person has to control it for the betterment in their environment.
- Control my attitude and temper on a positive way.
- I learned how to control my attitude and temper that only I can control.
- Say sorry when wrong, think positively and respect adults.
- I learned how to control my attitude and temper and to accept what others see of me and how they think of me.
- Learned how to control my attitude and temper.
- I learned that there are many people out there that have anger too and I’m not the worst at all or the only one.
- I learned that controlling your attitude and temper can get you way further in life.
- I learn that attitude and temper can hurt your future even your peers.
- That there are many ways to stay calm.
- That it taught me to work well with others and help change my life to make things easier.
What will you do differently as a result of this Anger Management Class?
- Look at the problem and make if funny so I won’t get the police called on me.
- I will take advice from this class and from this book.
- Take situations carefully and respect others more and myself as well.
- React to situations differently and control my actions.
- Respect myself and others and communicate respectfully in a kind way.
- I will work hard on my attitude; try to be respectful, helping and considerate to others.
- Control myself and try as hard as I can.
- To be control means I can better control myself.
- I will see myself trying hardest to make a lot more friends at school and get good grades and be kind to parents.
- I will think about my actions first.
- Think about Mr. and Mrs. Attitude and Temper.
- By thinking before speaking and watching what I say.
Article by Billy J. Strawter, Sr.
© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved Worldwide
Mistakes Parents Made with Their Children through Their Adolescence Years
Parents, have you ever made mistakes with your children and wished you had handled the situations differently? I personally don’t know of a single parent that hasn’t made mistakes with their children. I have counseled parents that deliberately hurt their children because of their own negative experiences during childhood. One thing I do know is that you can’t take back the mistakes but you can learn from them and make better choices in the future. I encourage mothers and fathers to avoid making mistakes that will damage your children emotionally for the rest of their lives. The core foundations of families in society are broken such as in the development of the emotional, educational, physical and spiritual needs of the children.
During a life skills workshop, I had a fantastic dialog with mothers and fathers relative the mistakes they made with their children. I ask the parents what mistakes you made raising your children. I hope you enjoy reading their responses listed below.
What mistakes have you made raising your children?
“I did not listen enough when they were trying to tell me something and there was not sufficient communication with my children. I yelled back at them when they were yelling at me and I did not follow through with discipline. I said many negative things in arguments we had. I did not give my youngsters enough attention when they needed it most. I did not praise them enough on their accomplishments. I put some of my own needs before theirs. I said negative things about their father a few times to the children, and I did n0t set boundaries. I did not build a great family relationship. I did not keep them in sports so they were not out in the streets which would have stopped them from getting into trouble. There was not enough trust and love toward my children.”
“I let my teenage son always get what he wants. I would bribe him with money. I let him miss school when he wanted to. I never really sat down and talked to my son. I never gave him a chance to let me know how he felt. I used to choose my friends and partying over my son. I would put my girlfriend before him”
“I did not give my youngsters rules as they got older. I yelled first and had guilt afterward. I tried to be their friend instead of their parent. I gave in often after I punished in quilt. I yelled a lot to get my point across then I just forgot about the situation.”
“As a single parent, I gave and gave instead of them earning or working for things. I feel things would have been better if I had set more boundaries. As a single parent, I had so many grounds to cover as a mom and dad. I was their mother and father. They are older now and not really respecting my struggles and responsibility as a concerned mother. I can’t hold their hands and walk them through life, and they have to do their part; such as school, getting a job, and move out on their own, and live a life of love.”
“I was not there all the time for my children. I did not listen to them more about their feelings. I didn’t show them the right and the wrong way. I should have been more responsible. I said the wrong thing too much and I did not do enough discipline with my children.”
“Some mistakes I made were not listening and I sometimes say things off the handle instead of listening. I sometimes say things out of anger which sometimes hurt as bad as being shot. I spoiled my kids to the point that my daughter thinks every pair of Jordan’s shoes that come out she should get them. I think I let my son get away with too much which makes my daughter think it is okay to do. When I put my kids on punishment they should stick to it. But I let them off punishment early which made the youngsters think mom is mad today but I can leave tomorrow. I talked bad things about the kids’ father when frustrated and the kids heard it. Sometimes, I lose my temper and just acted in a way my kids should not see. So what I am saying is that what I do is a prime example of what my kids do. But I will never give up and will change with the help of God.”
“I have been distance, selfish and wrapped up in my own personal problems”
“I have not paid sufficient attention to them and taken their concerns seriously. I have been distance, selfish and wrapped up in my own personal problems. I have not shown enough love to my children nor told them enough. I forgot promises made and did not follow through with the obligations. I have not spent enough time with them nor been involved with their lives. I fought with their mother over unimportant things. I have not financially supportive my children enough. I have pushed them for the bad things but I have not’ praised them enough for the good things my children do.”
“I gave my children too much and I let them do things after we said no. I spoiled my children and yelled at them too much. I got angry at some of the silly things. Not talking to grandparents about what we do and do not want our children to have. Not listening to spouse when making decisions because of different points of view. Not being aware of who my children are socializing with. Not discussing situation with my spouse before either one sets punishment and spouse not being on the same page.”
You have read about the mistakes parents made with their children. I am hopeful you will seriously look at the dynamics of your family. Perhaps there are some changes you need to make in your household with your children. Here are 20 steps parents can use to avoid making damaging mistakes with your youngsters.
- Spend time with your children
- Stop what you are doing and listen to your children when they are trying to tell you something
- Follow through when disciplining your youngsters
- Praise your children sufficiently on their accomplishments
- Avoid saying negative things to your children during conflict
- Don’t’ talk negatively to your children about mother or father
- Model the right way you want your children to live
- Give your children rules and boundaries
- Know who your children spent time with
- Avoid losing your temper in front of your children
- Don’t forget the promises you made to your youngsters
- Take your children concerns seriously
- Get your children counseling if needed
- Follow through on your obligation for your adolescences
- Work together with spouse when disciplining your children
- Avoid saying the wrong things too much
- Support the family financially
- Inform grandparents the thing you prefer them not to give to your children
- Avoid spoiling your children too much
- Do not be your children friend but instead be the parent
Finally, you can not control your children but you must give them the skills needed to make the right choices when they are not around you. When you make a mistake with your children, please apologize and ask them to forgive you. You have the power and the ability to invest wisely in your children’ lives.
Written by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr
© EnviCare Consulting Inc. All Rights Reserved
Listed below are simple strategies parents can use to control their feelings and emotions when faced with major obstacles. If you are facing problems in a relationship; such as the workplace or with your children, these simple strategies will work. Parents, you face many challenges every day whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom or dad.
Parents, it is very important to understand the magnitude of the daily challenges you face. If you deal with them improperly, you can damage your relationship with your teenager and younger children as well as with your spouse if married. When you are out of control, undesirable negative consequences may occur. Life is never simple but the more resources you have in your arsenal to combat difficult issues during conflicts, you will become more successful.
Listed below are potential negative consequences due to uncontrolled attitude and temper.
Negative Consequences of Uncontrolled Attitude and Temper
- Closed mindedness
- Create insecurity Reduced creativity, innovation & productivity
- Fosters Broken relationships
- Lead to physical sickness
- Creates uncontrolled depression and stress
- Use of drugs, tobacco and alcohol
- Isolate self from peers
- Perform just enough to complete the task
- Abandon responsibility
- Poor eating habits
- Foster Low self-esteem
- Lead to potential divorce
- Negative impact on family and others
- Lead to potential incarceration
- loss of credibility
- Leads to negative impact on character
- Causes an individual to potential run away from responsibilities
Strategies to Control Attitude and Temper
- Motivate self and others to move in the same direction
- Accept changes
- Accept constructive criticism
- Avoid being jealous of peers
- Avoid overreacting to a negative situation
- Take time out before you react to a negative situation
- Apologize when you are wrong or hurt a person’s feelings and or emotions
- Avoid over use of your power
- Believe in self and others
- Communicate precisely and consistently with each other
- Communicate your feelings with respect
- Take time to relax and exercise
- Eat a balanced and nutrient meal
- Encourage each other to be innovative and creative
- Perform regardless of the obstacles you face
- Forgive those who disappoint or hurt you, it limits the pain
- Take time to relax and exercise
- Network when necessary to accomplish success
- Resolve conflict quickly without submitting to Mr. and Mrs. Attitude and Temper
I am convinced that the greatest challenge we face as parents and individuals is the task of controlling our attitude and temper. I hope with a sincere heart that those of you struggling with controlling your attitude and temper that you seek the help you need. This is necessary to avoid destroying relationships you have with your family and others. You must believe that you can control Mr. and Mrs. Attitude and Temper which is you. I pray you will have the commitment and strength to apply the above simple strategies to control attitude and temper.
Written: Mr. Wisdom
(c) 2011 EnviCare Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved Worldwide
I enjoy listening to teenagers. They have a lot to offer to society if we would only understand and listen to them. They are valuable to society and we shouldn’t ignore their great potential. Recently, I worked with some teenagers in my Keys to Success Program (Anger Management Class). The program is designed to give teenagers strategies and encouragements to control their feelings and emotions when Mr and Mrs. Attitude and Temper (Mr and Mrs. A.T.) take control of them. They are taught that they are Mr. and Mrs. A.T. They are informed of their responsibility to control them because they can’t defeat them. I am hopeful that these two young men will be very successful in life. The keys to success must also include support from the family.
It is absolutely fascinating to see changes in a teenager’s life when they learn to control their feeling and emotions. They have a since of accomplishment and value in their lives when they are in control. It also helps teenagers to build their self-esteem. When a teenager is equipped to control their emotions and feelings positively, they will overcome any obstacles in life. Listed below are comments shared by Toney and Logan.
“When I first came to the anger management class, I had my mind made up that I wouldn’t learn anything. I felt the class would be a waste of time. As the day went by, we stated to talk more about life and about what was going on in our lives, then the class became interesting. I had an opportunity to share why I get mad. I learned about what I needed to work on to control my attitude and temper. Being in the small group environment, helped made it easy to open up and share the real things that were going on in my life. I learned how attitude causes pain and frustration and how temper causes angry and destruction toward self and others. That really helped me out the most. There were times when I would get mad for no reason. I never knew the consequences of being angry or anything. I learned that everything is not going to be perfect. When you react to things in a disrespectful way, you are going to receive what you invested in your life. I have learned how to respect others.”
“The anger management class helped me see that getting angry and frustrated over needless situations and arguments are pointless. You can control your attitude and temper with self-control and you must have the ability to want to succeed. Without allowing attitude and temper to control you, life can be a lot more stress free and enjoyable. If you are happy with yourself and the people you surround yourself with, it makes life happier, and less frustrating. Uncontrolled Attitude and temper are attributes you don’t need in your life, because they can make someone into somebody they don’t want to become.
The anger management has made me see clear in areas that I wasn’t fond of before and has guided me into building better character and becoming a better person.
The anger management class helped me to deal with my attitude and temper which is helping me in everyday life. I also learned the importance of being successful and maintaining that success. You must put effort into being successful. Success is what drives me to become more determined toward living a successful life. The anger management has made me see clear in areas that I wasn’t fond of before and has guided me into building better character and becoming a better person.”
Written by: Mr. Wisdom
(c) 2011 EnviCare Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved Worldwide
My name is Colleen. I was arrested for shoplifting. I was angry when I got arrested but for some reason it was towards everyone around me and not myself. I was stubborn and very hard headed. I had a bad attitude and my temper was out of control. At first, when I was told I had to attend a class for shoplifting, I thought it was going to be a boring class with bad kids. It turned out the class was amazing and the kids weren’t bad at all. Keys to Success is the class and I learned many life-changing lessons by attending it.
“I would just walk away any time things weren’t going my way, or when I was getting angry”
I learned many things that I will never forget. I agree when it is said people don’t change overnight. But after one month in the Keys class, I did change in many ways and all were for the better. I learned to control my attitude and temper and to stop and think before reacting to a problem. I never thought in a million years I would change from a stubborn teenager to a more mature young woman. This class has matured me in many ways. I have always had problems trusting and opening up to people. I would like to thank my instructor for giving me the strength to do just that.
The main thing I learned from the Keys class was to communicate. I use to just walk away any time things weren’t going my way, or when I was getting angry. However, now I feel I can communicate my feelings with respect. I recommend that any young teen in my situation that needs an eye opener take the Keys to Success class. I know it will help you, just as it has me.
Thank you again, you have truly changed my way of thinking and from now on I will make wiser investments in my piggy bank.
Colleen’s is a typical teenager that sometimes struggles with making right choices when things are difficult at home. She chose to allow stubbornness, attitude, temper and anger to control her when things became difficult at home. Colleen has a wonderful heart but needed someone to inspire and encourage her to move beyond her past. She has a new opportunity to create a positive story on her new journey in life. It won’t be easy but she has already won the battle because she has acknowledged the error of her ways.
Teens, as you read this post, you too can overcome stubbornness, attitude, temper or anger if you obtain the help you need. Life is short and you must do your very best to not allow these four things to control your life in a negative manner. Learn to communicate your feelings with respect as Colleen did with her parents. Learn to agree to disagree without destroying relationships with your parents, siblings or friends. Remember even if you have made wrong choices as a result of your stubbornness, attitude, temper or anger, you can choose a new direction for your life and rebuild broken relationships.
Written by Mr. Wisdom
(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting Inc. All Rights Reserved World Wide
This post is about Shirley, a parent, who never wanted to control her attitude. Shirley’s attitude negatively impacted her relationship with her children.
“The life skills workshop impacted my life because it helped me to learn how to control my attitude and temper. Before, I never liked to control my attitude. Before learning to control my attitude, I would be frustrated with everything! Now I don’t feel that way. I am able to bask in the great feeling I have when I control my attitude. It makes me feel better. I enjoyed reading “Behind the Eyes of Juvenile Delinquents” as it had stories to which I could relate. The book helped me to deal with some situations I previously didn’t know how to handle. I appreciate having taken the life skills workshop as I now understand my life more clearly and I have become a better person and parent.”
“Before learning to control my attitude, I would be frustrated with everything but now I don’t feel that way.”
Shirley is just one of thousands of parents struggling to control their attitude and temper. You might be one of those parents who have failed to model to your children how to control your attitude and temper. Like Shirley, you no longer need to be in bondage to your attitude and temper. Shirley found the keys to controlling her attitude and temper when she admitted she had a problem. Now, Shirley is better equipped to deal with her attitude and broken relationships with her family. Things will get better because of Shirley’s desire and commitment to build better relationships with her family.
Parents, if you have a problem controlling your attitude and temper, seek help. You will not regret seeking help as you experience the benefits that come from reduced anger and frustration in your life. You should always strive to do your very best to improve your attitude in order to be filled with joy and peace. Never let stress, frustration, and anger keep you from loving yourself, your spouse and children. Let your home become filled with laughter and joy. Joy is very contagious so allow it to infect your family along with teaching the skills needed for each family member to control their attitude and temper. Parents, you are your children’s greatest hope for success. Parenting is not easy, but when you do it right, your family will experience success from generation to generation.
Believe that one day your offspring will be sitting around the table or campfire reflecting on the love, warmth, compassion, grace, mercy, and listening skills you passed down to them and they in turn to their children. Parenting children should be fun and exciting during both the good times and the difficult times. Love and commitment are the driving forces that will help you to control your feelings and emotions in a very positive way.
Parents, we hope these words have inspired you to never let your attitude and temper destroy yourself or your relationship with family. Trust God to give you the strength you need to endure. Release your heart, soul and mind to Him and the blessings will come as you patiently wait.
Written by: Mr. Wisdom
(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved Worldwide
In this post, you will learn valuable information from comments adults wrote after attending an anger management workshop. Listed below are their responses to two basic questions:
- What did you learn from the anger management workshop?
- What will you do differently as a result of attending the anger management workshop?
Hopefully, you will use this information to reflect on changes you might need to make in your own life relating to anger and lack of self-control.
Question 1: What did you learn from the anger management workshop?
- How to control my anger and temper. How to turn the other cheek.
- My attitude and my temper must be in control at all times in order to change my surroundings and myself.
- How to be yourself and have control.
- Several ways to control anger and temper.
- I learned it’s about balancing the positive and negative.
- How to deal with situations when people get on your nerves. Don’t get mad and handle it very professionally.
- To be a better person and how to respond to different situations positively.
- How to deal with stress.
- Controlling my attitude and temper. Difference in effect of attitude and temper. Strategies to work towards improving our attitude/temper.
- Having a positive attitude and good outlook.
- I learned that I don’t give people the appropriate amount of credit sometimes.
- Strategies to help to develop success and how to overcome obstacles as we live.
- To control my anger. We can’t please everyone.
- How to control my anger so that I can be productive.
- I learned that everyone is different and no two people think the same. By controlling our attitude and temper, accepting those who are different is easier.
- A little about myself and that my anger is coming from lack of self-control.
- I learned some great ideas for life skills. I also learned to make the right choice, use the right words and that my actions speak louder than words.
- How to overcome obstacles in a positive way. I also was reminded that I have to believe in myself.
- Learned about life skills that I knew and will continue to build upon them in my life.
What will you do differently as a result of attending the anger management workshop?
- Take more time for myself. Think before I speak. Use my piggy bank (brain) wisely.
- I will continue to have self-control and be more sensitive to others.
- Try things out and be heard.
- Try to forgive others that hurt me and my feelings.
- Think before responding to a bad situation and not to be hurtful with words.
- Stand my ground but not angrily. Keep a cool head.
- Control my attitude and temper.
- Be the bigger person and apologize.
- Work towards improving my negative attitude which will improve my personality.
- Have a better attitude.
- Continue working on improving my teamwork skills.
- Don’t let other’s burdens weigh me down. Keep moving forward.
- Control myself and not be too bossy.
- This has helped me to continue my path in forgiving and learning that we are all different. I would not change a thing.
- I will express myself more so that I can go on with what I need to do with respect
- More self control and finding why I feel the way I do. Set goals for myself. Store positive things in my piggy bank (brain).
- I will reevaluate my attitude and actions. I will always think before I speak so that I will choose the right words.
- I will work on me and as I work on me, try to be the better person. I will also work on letting things go. Look over the handout as a reminder to deposit positively into my piggy bank (brain).
Life is never simple and you will face challenges as long as you live. You have a responsibility to control your attitude and temper without destroying yourself and others. If you are currently experiencing problem with anger, consider attending an anger management workshop. It could improve your relationships with your children, family and friends. Learn to communicate your feelings with respect and you will feel better about yourself.
Written by Mr. Wisdom
(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved Worldwide