Tag Archives: Trouble

Mothers and Fathers Share Reasons Children Don’t Tell Parents the Truth When Teens Are in Trouble

Mothers and Fathers Share Reasons Children Don’t Tell Parents the Truth When Teens Are in Trouble

I wrote a previous article on “Why Children Don’t Tell Parents the Truth When in Trouble “. In the article, I focused on teenagers’ perspectives on the issue of not telling the truth. This article contains parents’ perspectives on adolescents’ wiliness not to speak the truth to their mother and father. During the discussion with the parents, they were very engaged in sharing their thoughts regarding the question listed below:

Why teenagers don’t tell parents the truth when they are in trouble?

Debbie’s perspectives:

  1. Children are afraid of being discipline
  2. Parents won’t understand why the adolescent got in trouble
  3. Parents will yell and scream at the teen
  4. Teens are afraid of being grounded and punishment

Ted’s perspectives:

  1. Youngster believe they can resolve their own problems
  2. Child fear of disappointing their parents
  3. Children scared of possible punishment

Albert’s perspectives

  1. Teens are afraid of punishment
  2. Children know they have let their parents down
  3. Adolescents think they can handle it without parents help
  4. Teens don’t want to hear you yell at them

Kathy’s perspectives

  1. Some children are afraid of their parents response
  2. It’s hard for some teenagers to trust their parents
  3. Teens thinks they can get away with it
  4. Some adolescent lack communication skills

Henry’s Perspectives

  1. Children don’t tell parents the truth when they’re in trouble because they are afraid of consequence
  2. Teens don’t have faith that their mothers and fathers will understand
  3. Children think it will blow over

 Wilma’s Perspectives

  1. Parents will try to change their opinion
  2. They think they can fix and hide the truth before parents find out

Pauline’s Perspectives

  1. Teens are afraid of what the parents are going to say
  2. Teenagers may feel that their parents are going to be disappointed in them
  3. The youngsters don’t want to be punished

Carrie’s Perspective

  1. Teens are afraid of how the parent will react
  2. Teens are embarrassed about what they did.
  3. Teens are scared of consequences

Hope’s perspectives

  1. My child doesn’t tell me the truth for fear of how I will overreact
  2. Teens are afraid of consequences
  3. Kids don’t won’t to disappoint parents

Lee’s Perspective

  1. Teens don’t want to upset parents
  2. Children don’t want to have parents lose trust
  3. Adolescents don’t want to lose privileges
  4. They are ashamed or embarrassed

 Advise for parents and teenagers

The parents’ responses were very accurate and collaborated with the teenagers’ perspective as to why they don’t tell parents the truth when they are in trouble.  The million dollar question is why is it difficult for parents to respond to their children with compassion when the teen lies.

I believe parents yell and scream because of shock, and disappointment in their child’s behavior. Many parents are very surprised and never believed their adolescent would have purposefully chosen to get in trouble.  Sometimes parents purposely ignore the signs that their teen is doing something wrong as if it will go away but it won’t. The issue must be address right away. There are some parents who just don’t care but I believe most parents care how they respond to their teenagers’ negative behavior.

Teens, I encourage you to get more engaged with your parents and always tell them the truth. Please consider applying the seventeen (17) steps below to telling the truth when you are in trouble:

  1. Tell your parents the truth regardless of the consequences or punishments
  2. Don’t’ be afraid of your parents or being grounded
  3. Don’t try to handle the problem by yourself
  4. Place faith in your parents
  5. Never believe the problem will blow over
  6. Approach your parents with a humbled heart to tell them the truth
  7. Tell your parents you are in trouble before they hear the bad news from someone else
  8. Communicate your feelings with respect to your parents
  9. Avoid telling half trues to your mother or father because it won’t make life easier
  10. Don’t’ fear that your parents will be upset about you being in trouble ( A concerned parent will be upset)
  11. Be prepared to know your parents might respond by yelling and screaming
  12. Don’t shut down while communicating with your parents when they overreact to the situation
  13. Admit that your behavior was wrong
  14. Don’t blame your peers or others for your poor decision
  15. Apologize to your parents for making the wrong choices
  16. Love your parents unconditionally
  17. Ask for forgiveness and immediately start making better choices

Teens, it is wise to invest these seventeen (17) steps in your life. Why, you will be more enthusiastic about speaking the truth to your parents when you are in trouble.  Your parents love you very much. If your parents can help, please contact a relative, or school counselor or youth organization that willing to help. You should always communicate the truth to your parents when you are in trouble.

Written By:  Billy J. Strawter, Sr

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.                               All Rights Reserved

Learn From Parents: The Reasons Teenagers Find Themselves in Trouble

In this article, you will find a list of reasons teenagers find themselves in trouble. A group of parents, in small groups identified many of the reasons.  Hopefully, this information will help you identify issues you are facing with your teenager and to seek the help they need to address the issues.

Reasons Teenagers Find Themselves in Trouble?

  1. Peer pressure
  2. Their Environment
  3. Truancy
  4. Parents not checking in on him or her
  5. Added stress of being a role model to their other siblings in the home
  6. Too much free time
  7. Boredom
  8. Not enough supervision
  9. Insufficient things to entertain themselves
  10. To get back at their parents for disciplining them
  11. Following older kids
  12. Changes in society
  13. Broken families
  14. Alcoholism and drugs
  15. No positive influences

Parents, there are many reasons that contribute to teenagers getting themselves in trouble. The above list does not include everything.  The more you are aware of things that impact your child the better equipped you will be to assist your teen. Broken families are the primary factor that contributes to the negative behavior of teens.  You have the power to shape the direction of your teen.  Although there are many other reasons teens find themselves in trouble, as the parent, you have the greatest influence on your teen’s life.

“A dose of forgiveness is the greatest medicine you can use when your teen is in trouble.”

Parents, you must stand up and provide your teen with the life skills needed in order to overcome troubles.  Get engaged in your teen’s life but don’t smother them.   Balance your concerns for your teen’s safety and yet give them an opportunity to learn the skills they will need as an adult.  You must trust your teen and be patient when they make wrong choices.  Maintain a great relationship with your children before and when they become teenagers.  A dose of forgiveness is the greatest medicine you can use when your teen is in trouble. Show unconditional love as you work with them through their difficult times.

Written by Mr. Wisdom

 

(c) 2010 EnviCare Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved Worldwide

List of Factors That Influence Teens’ Negative Behavior

Listed below are several factors that contribute to the negative behavior of teenagers. It’s important to understand these factors in order to properly respond to their issues. These factors were identified and discussed during a workshop with teachers. The more we understand the negative behavior of children and teenagers, we will have gain sufficient knowledge to teach them how to deal with life’s issues.

Responses to question why do students get in trouble?

  1. Peer pressure
  2. Lack of good decision making skills
  3. Poor home environment
  4. Lack of attention
  5. Lack of skills to perform specific tasks
  6. Lack of parental supervision and involvement
  7. Lose-lose situations no matter how hard they try
  8. Lack of motivation
  9. No way out of their situation

Society needs to work together to help our children and teens to fill the void they have in their lives. The family is the heart of society. Parents have the power to influence and impact the hearts of their children to make right choices.  Parents must do everthing within their power to help their teens to overcome the negative behavior. Those of us in the profession of providing services to families can equip parents with additional tools needed to ensure the success of their children.

Written by Mr Wisdom

(c) 2010 EnciCare Consulting, Inc.  All Rights Reserved Worldwide