This article was reposted
Do you really know your family? There are family members living in the same household and don’t spend sufficient time to understand each other. Teenagers often communicate that their parents don’t understand them. What do they mean that their parents don’t understand them? What they are saying is that parents don’t listen about the struggles they are facing each day without overreacting. Sometimes parents get too busy responding to their negative behavior instead of listening. During an anger management workshop; teenagers discussed what made them angry with their family. Listed below are some responses:
What makes you angry most often about your family?
They don’t listen to anything I say
When they are ganging up on me or don’t listen to me
They are unfair and major worriers
My dad won’t let me live with my mom
When they are unfair or go in my room
When they don’t agree with me when I know I am right
How do you respond?
I walk away or roll my eyes
Well, to my sisters I swear; to my mom I yell and stuff
I yell at them and storm around
Yelling and screaming
Yell, stomp, slam door
I go yelling
Take the time to know family members. Let them know their words are to important to you by listening. Stop what you are doing and give them your attention.
The family should not gang up on each other. The parent should encourage the child to solve the problem themselves. If intervention is required, it should be between the parent and the two children involved. Give them the skills they need to solve conflicts.
When a child sees you worrying too much, it will impact them negatively. They are like sponges absorbing everything you are modeling. Worrying is okay but it must not lead to stress and depression.
There are some things that are common to families such as yelling during conflict. If your family likes to yell, you should discontinue this approach. Why! Yelling will hinder communication. Therefore, you will miss an opportunity to solve the problem before it escalates. Each person should communicate their feelings with respect and calmly. Again! take the time to get to know each other. Here’s what you should do. Take the questionnaire below “Getting to Know You” and interview each family member after dinner. Turn the television and electronic devices off for the entire evening. Make sure you have fun interviewing each other.
GETTING TO KNOW YOU QUESTIONNAIRE
Name: _________________________ Birthday: _____________________
1. My parent (s), or my guardian name (s): ___________________________
2. I have ______ sister (s) and _______brother (s).
3. My favorite subject in school is _____________________.
4. My favorite teacher is _________________ because __________________
5. In my free time, I like to ________________________________________
6. My best friend is _________________ because______________________
7. My favorite adult is _______________ because _____________________
8. My friends and I enjoy _________________________________________
9. The one thing I dislike most about a person is _______________________
10. The one thing I like most about a person is _________________________
11. My favorite foods are _________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________
12. I want to be a ____________________________________?
(c) 2009 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.